Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 22

Thread: Can’t believe this “relationship” is still going on...

  1. #11
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,090
    Originally Posted by Gb83
    But he was my “side” initially too. I knew my marriage also had problems and just now have we filed for divorce. I just don’t know how long to realistically wait for him to do the same before feeling his time is up. He does seem quite attached given the amount of time we spend together and how long it’s been.
    Your absolutely right G, he was a crutch for you too.

    The problem is...you left your husband and now you expect the crutch to now be the partner.

    His words say hes onboard, unfortunately he actions... dont...

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    8,961
    Originally Posted by Gb83

    We do hook up but no sleeping together as already said.

    Can you please clarify this^^? By "hook up" I am presuming you mean you do have sex, but you don't sleep together, as in actually "sleep," spend the entire night together?

    Thanks.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    9,614
    Gender
    Female
    You are contradicting yourself all over the place. He is with you....except when he is with his wife in California....

    I mean come on. Yes, your personal situation may be different in that you are in the process of an actual divorce. However, this man is married, is not divorcing his wife, is feeding you a bunch of bs lines typical of cheaters, like straight out of cheater handbook 101. Time to face reality, OP, in that you are the other woman, an affair partner. This isn't going to help you, your self respect, and might even cause serious harm in your divorce proceedings. Cut him off. Complete your divorce, get on your own two feet, be single for awhile and actually get to the point where you are happy and comfortable living on your own. Then you can try and date again, but for the love of.....make sure the man is truly single.

  4. #14
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    39
    Fair. I guess my optimism comes from the fact that I was also married when I met him- not all that happy, but would’ve persisted for significantly longer had this guy not come about. And ultimately (6 months later) I did file for divorce. So I figured the same could go for him if we have remained so close for this long.
    By not sleeping together I just mean other forms of sex but not intercohrse

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,090
    Originally Posted by Gb83
    Fair. I guess my optimism comes from the fact that I was also married when I met him- not all that happy, but would’ve persisted for significantly longer had this guy not come about. And ultimately (6 months later) I did file for divorce. So I figured the same could go for him if we have remained so close for this long.
    By not sleeping together I just mean other forms of sex but not intercohrse
    Which is something people who enter affairs often think, some are right even, but when it doesnt happen, you kinda just gotta take the loss ya know? Its a gamble affairs are always high risk, low reward gambles.

    You chose to give up on your marriage on a gamble, right or wrong, that was the bet you chose to make.

    As of right now his gamble is to keep his wife in California, and keep you as a cuddle buddy and support system. It seems hes holding steady with the cards in his hand, not making anymore bets or taking any more risks than he already has because hes happy with the cards hes got, meanwhile, you lost everything.

  7. #16
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    39
    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Which is something people who enter affairs often think, some are right even, but when it doesnt happen, you kinda just gotta take the loss ya know? Its a gamble affairs are always high risk, low reward gambles.

    You chose to give up on your marriage on a gamble, right or wrong, that was the bet you chose to make.

    As of right now his gamble is to keep his wife in California, and keep you as a cuddle buddy and support system. It seems hes holding steady with the cards in his hand, not making anymore bets or taking any more risks than he already has because hes happy with the cards hes got, meanwhile, you lost everything.
    True, but he can’t keep the cards in his hand if I refuse to keep playing along.... hence my thoughts about ending it vs ultimatum and appropriate timing of that.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,090
    Originally Posted by Gb83
    True, but he can’t keep the cards in his hand if I refuse to keep playing along.... hence my thoughts about ending it vs ultimatum and appropriate timing of that.
    Im thinkin thats your best bet too

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    32,814
    Gender
    Male
    Will that hurt you more than him?
    Originally Posted by Gb83
    Leverage... well no more hooking up/ “favors” or spending every night together and talking during day day and being each other's Sounding board

  10. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Age
    57
    Posts
    5,906
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Gb83
    I don't want to be the girl giving an ultimatum, but I feel at some point this has to be defined. Frankly I thought this kind of stuff was a quick fling; I didn't think we'd still be in each other's lives every day, half a year later, without even having sex. What do I do?

    You're the mistress. The minute he is free of his wife, he's going to embrace his single life and drop you like a hot potato. I'm amazed at how many times this story repeats itself. Man complains about marriage, has affair, breaks up with wife, then is gone.

    But I could be wrong. I've just seen in most of these situations, that's how it plays out.

  11. #20
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    39
    I guess I don’t think this. If he’s not with his kids then he’s with me. That sums up like every night of his life right now.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •