Originally Posted by reinventmyself
Well, that changes things.
He's very young. You both are. You've been together for 4 years and at 22 he can't see himself getting married for another 5.
Perfectly understandable.
He can't envision the two of you hanging on for another 5 years, 9 total and ring on it in the end. That's why he says he feels guilty.
You have a decision to make.
It isn't about you, it's about a young man who feels he has a lot life to live before he decides to get married.
Believe him when he tells you.
If you have been together since you were 17 and 18 maybe some time apart to decide if you really want eachother might be a good idea. I mean, in 5 years when he is ready to marry - if he IS ever ready to marry, is he going to tell you 'well, we only have ever dated eachother, i missed out on something goodbye". I mean, you will be upset if he does that and you will feel you wasted time. Its up to you. I have relatives in their 30s that married at your age. I have had others marry in their late 20s or 30s. It is not a race. But if he is already saying he is using you and not wanting to marry you vs marriage not being on his radar and not being shaken by seeing babies and it being "someday" = then i don't know what to tell you.