Am I bipolar ?

So I have sporadic anger problems it stems from being so shy my whole life and walked all over by family, friends, & relationships. Now I have so much anger that I find myself mood swinging and I’m starting to worry something is wrong.

However majority of the things I get angry about I feel is justified by the way I was treated at some point but sometimes it’s too excessive I end up looking kind of crazy and feel ashamed of myself. It also takes me a lot to get to that point. I’ve isolated myself from people. On top of being the black sheep my whole life like I’m homeless, my only child is autistic so I rarely have any time to myself, I work long long overnight shifts only to feel super bad that I don’t get to spend any time with my son because I’m so depressed and tired. Idk if this is why I’m so angry, if something is going on with me mentally or I’m being gaslighted.

My sons dad is a huge trigger for me I will not talk to him, ignore him for months but he does things to make me mad like contacting my family, calling my job, talking about his current ex to me. I have so much resentment towards him for how he’s treated the baby and I but expects me to be friendly and kind to him. This often brings up old feelings and I notice I’ll try to be his friend only to get super angry and lash out about it a few days later. He’s a big part of the reason my life is the way it is and I still feel deep hate inside.

I wish I could get counseling, I have no friends or family. I’m usually so cool calm and collective but have periods where I mood swing with certain people. What is wrong with me ?

No one here can diagnose complex psychological issues. It often takes Psychiatrists and psychologists months to make these diagnoses. Counsellors cannot make diagnoses only psychiatrists and psychologists.

We are not doctors or therapists here, we are regular folks who like to help others but are not professionals in any medical capacity. Please go see your doctor and start to get some help.

What you describe does not sound like bi-polar but the others are right, you should first go see your family doctor and tell him/her what you've told us and see what they have to say about your symptoms. You sound stressed if nothing else so look after yourself and start doing so with the help of your doctor.

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