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Thread: What can I do?I miss him a lot.

  1. #1

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    What can I do?I miss him a lot.

    Last year in April I met a guy on tinder and we hit it off immediately.He called me very often and we texted every single day.He even ended up giving me a nickname and told me that he deleted tinder because of me.After about 3 months of just talking,we decided to finally meet each other.We went to see a movie and afterwards we hung out at a park,it was a lot of fun and he even kissed me like 3 times.After the date we continued to talk and decided to plan a second date.This time I went to the place where he lives,which is a little over 2 hours by train. We went to the town centre first and he held my hand as we walked around.We then hung out at a little beach area and talked and kissed, then we went back to his place and he lived in a student housing center.We briefly watched a movie and then he started kissing me again and we ended up having sex.He said that he enjoyed the date and would love to see me again.I told him that I planned on going to America for a few months to visit my dad, he said he didn't care how long i'd be gone for as long as I promise to come back to him.He also told me that he likes me,and that I'm worth the wait.So right before I was supposed to go to America we decided to go on another date.I went to him again,and he had bought me a present since I had turned 18 the week before.We talked a lot and had fun, we also ended up having sex for the 2nd time.Because of personal issues between me and my dad,I ended up not going to America.So we were able to go on a 3rd date. Luckily it was somewhere closer to where I live. We went swimming and afterwards for a walk through a nearby park.At the end of the date he told me that because school was starting again he wouldn't be able to hang out for a few weeks.We continued to text back and forth,but I noticed something was different.He didnt say goodnight like he used to, he didn't send kiss or heart emojis anymore, and his replies got shorter.I asked him if he still wanted to talk and when he could hang out and he kept saying he wanted to,but that he was just really busy.After about a month or so of waiting, I told him that I missed him.He said he didnt understand why because we only met like twice.Afterwards he sent me a video on snapchat and he was at the zoo with some girl.I was devastated. At that time I didn't really have any friends, he was the only one I had, and I realized at that point that I had lost him. Instead of ignoring him like a mature person would have, I sent him a bunch of messages making many assumptions.I really did not think it through, and felt ashamed immediately after.He responded the next day and told me I shouldn't jump to conclusions, and that it was just a project for school and that It was ridiculous because we weren't even together anyways.I apologized to him and he told me that he forgives me,but he just needed time.He also told me that I'm a really great girl, but he was just too busy to keep in touch,but that he would contact me in the future as friends.So I stopped talking to him,but was still friends with him on snapchat.He posted another story to his snapchat with the same girl he was at the zoo with.He then blocked me on snapchat.I decided to look him up on facebook and I saw that he recently got into a relationship with her. It's been 6 months now and they aren't together anymore,and i've noticed that he's unblocked me,why?Despite everything I miss him terribly and think about him every single day.I've never felt this way about anybody before and I just cant let it go.I know it's stupid but I really want to talk with him again.

  2. #2
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    Break it up into paragraphs please.

    No one will read it otherwise.

    Thanks!

  3. #3
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    You lost nothing. You saw him a couple of times.

    Honey, next time find someone local. He was only in it for the sex.

    If your life were more full you would not be obsessing over this guy- for over a year. I strongly suggest you expand your social life and make some new friends.

    Block and delete this guy. The only reason he would want to communicate is for attention and sex.

    Lastly, he is not your friend.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    OP you need to find a way to get grounded in reality here. He has told you he isnít interested in a relationship with you... you need to accept this. Chances are that if you met him on Tinder he is just looking for casual right now as is the case with many young people.

    I agree with Holly... you need a social circle so you donít rely so heavily on this guy.

  5.  

  6. #5

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    Sorry, I don't know how to edit it.

  7. #6
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    The most concerning point in all of this is that you are still this attached to a guy you met 3 times, a year ago. You barely know him.

    I think you need a healthy reality check: you got hooked on the attention and flattery, but you really don't know the guy well enough to miss him as a person. He fed you a lot of very pretty lines, but he didn't sincerely mean them. He's not someone you should have taken so seriously, and you certainly shouldn't take him unblocking you now as a sign he'll suddenly want to date you.

    Please do follow the others' advice and work more on you and expanding your social circle. It will help stop you from placing too many expectations on a guy who really never offered you much.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I agree with MissCanuck. Please stop yourself before you go any further. You also mentioned that you don't have any friends. Not having a network of peers and/or family will create an imbalance in anyone. Please look after yourself and I'd urge you to stop placing so much importance on someone you hardly know.

  9. #8

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    Thank you all for your replies. I understand that my thoughts are abnormal.I do have friends now, but I still feel extremely lonely.I don't know why I'm so obsessed with this guy that I barely know, but I can't help it.I've talked to my psychologist about it as well, but nothing has helped so far.

  10. #9
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    Oh sweetie I don't think your thoughts are abnormal at all, you felt a real connection with this guy, developed feelings, doesn't matter how many dates you had, your feelings are still very real.

    And although it had only been three dates, some people have a tougher time letting go than others, it's okay and nothing to feel ashamed for.

    All that said, I agree with the others, you need to get off the internet and start cultivating friendships in the real world.

    Maybe take a class in a subject that interests you, or how about meet up groups?

    I know it's easy to sit home and day dream about this guy -- what happened, if only, what if -- but you need to force yourself to get out.

    Who knows what happened with this guy; you both sound very young, you only 17 when you met him, now 18, he just wasn't ready or emotionally prepared for any type of exclusive relationship, despite having some fun dates, and good sex with you.

    I'm sorry you're hurting, but you will get over this, I promise. We've all been there!

    Take care and hugs.

  11. 05-21-2019, 08:00 PM

  12. #10

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    I'll definitely try to get out more.Meet up groups sounds like a good idea to me,I'll look into that.

    Thank you so much for your reply, you're very kind! :)

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