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Thread: confused about my boyfriends behaviour

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Is this an S&M thing you two have?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    I consider this sexual assault and felt extremely uncomfortable reading this, to the point I could barely finish. I second what the others have said!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
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    Jul 2016
    Originally Posted by Katrin

    Next thing he gets on top of me and forces my legs open and I ask him what he’s doing and then say no, as we’ve just had sex. He just said no (in a daft voice) and then pushes inside of me and then he starts tickling me again really hard. I ask him to stop again and he said what “The tickling or sex”. I said the tickling (not the sex) and he stops. He then while still inside me said “I love you ok” and then proceeds to pin one of my hands down and puts his other hand around my throat and starts having sex with me really hard. I didn’t say no but cried out a few times in bed and he started to do it harder. After. He got off me and said, “You didn’t want that did you, I could tell you wasn’t in the mood”. I said no as I was tired from work and we had just had sex. He then said, “You know why I tickle you”? I said no and he replied, “Because I’m the man and I can”.
    I am confused about this incident....
    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    I’m going to refrain from giving advice until I see if the poster comes back and interacts or is a one and done poster...
    I'm with figureitout, gonna refrain from fully responding until the OP comes back, and she also clarifies a few questions I have.

    Number one, bolded, when he asked you if you wanted the tickling to stop and not the sex, why did you say just the tickling and not the sex? That is confusing.

    Second, when he became aggressive with you, pinned your hands down, had hand on your throat, why did you NOT say "NO"? I get you cried; I cry sometimes too during rough play/sex but I'm into dominant sex so it's much much different. You stated your sexual dynamic together has been gentle sex.

    Anyway, unless you make it clear to a man by saying NO!! Some men are just not gonna get it, unfortunately. Especially while in that moment. And you had said "yes" to the sex just minutes before.

    Please understand I am not justifying what he did; I think what he did was very wrong and his comment "I'm the man and I can" was arrogant, bulling and beyond disrespectful.

    I am also not accusing you of anything, but I am hesitant to call this a "rape" as that is a very extreme accusation until you return and answer these questions.

    Because again it's a bit confusing, for me anyway. I work in law and am trained to look at all sides before arbitrarily making such an extreme accusation.

    Thanks and hope you're seeking help for what you experienced because no matter what it was it sounds like it was quite traumatic for you and I am sorry.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 05-21-2019 at 03:31 PM.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Central Canada
    Whether Op you were raped, it was sexual assault, or BDSM extravaganza... this is enough to get the fug away and stay away from him...
    I have been in a relationship on and off with my boyfriend for 4 years.
    Take a hint that you are with the wrong man and liberate yourself from this bullcrockery you call a relationship.


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