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Thread: Break up advice! I Broke up with my Long Distance Boyfriend and now I'am scared.

  1. #1
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    Break up advice! I Broke up with my Long Distance Boyfriend and now I'am scared.

    Hey everyone,
    Last night I broke up with my Long Distance Boyfriend, we've been in this LDR for 6 months and we didn't get to see each other, but he was someone I knew in person not just some internet guy. The first months were so good but then things started to get heavy. I got so insecure and started interpreting everything as a rejection from his side, I became clingy and jealous. And on the other hand he became agressive everytime and just kept yelling at me. Comunication was not a strong point of our relationship and I always felt misunderstood. I would explain myself to the point of feeling exhausted and he would feel annoyed. Last night we fought and afterwards I sent him a break up message, he didn't find it fair and that I wasn't appreciating our relationship but I was throwing it away just because of "a fight". But I couldn't tolerate the way he talked to me and he thought that I was the only one that should change behaviour. In the end he told me he loves me, I told him the same and that I will miss him.
    Today I feel like nothing has happened and like we will get back together soon, cause he kinda let the door open. But I'm so afraid of the sadness I'll feel afterwards. I have to write my thesis but can't focus on it. Any advice how to handle it?

  2. #2
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    He is long distance, he is disrespectful, he blames you for everything and you are not compatible. Why would you want thus?

  3. #3

    You sound like you both love each other

    But you might need some time apart, perhaps even still in communication, but just as friends. Being long distance, that change should be easier to accomplish than otherwise, but a change of perspective and a little absence may give way to increased longing and empathy on both of your parts

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It doesn't sound like a good relationship.

    You described so many issues between you two, even if you do get back together it going to go back to this again, unless you fix the problems.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    Excellent choice of breaking up. Communication was not good. You just miss him now, but you know you made the right choice.

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    Originally Posted by Peace of mind
    Today I feel like nothing has happened and like we will get back together soon, cause he kinda let the door open.
    If getting back together isn't what you want, it won't happen.

    Perhaps you're scared that he will ask to get back together and you will be tempted to say yes?

    If so, don't. You made the right decision. You weren't being treated in a way that made you feel appreciated and after bringing this to his attention, nothing changed.

    Hang tough. All breakups suck, even if it's the right thing to do.

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    Maybe some time apart see if you guys really do love each other and want to be with each other...? Whatís meant for you nothing or anyone can come between you two, I hope it works out for you, p.s donít ever let anyone disrespect you if you allow it, it will continue & get worse.

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    He is abusive and you are passive. He also sounds like a bully. This is not what healthy relationships are made of. You are better off without this guy. Find a nice, kind guy who will appreciate you for you and make you happy, not miserable. You can block and delete this guy so he cant pester you.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by CobeeDiVeto
    But you might need some time apart, perhaps even still in communication, but just as friends. Being long distance, that change should be easier to accomplish than otherwise, but a change of perspective and a little absence may give way to increased longing and empathy on both of your parts
    The guy is abusive and treated her horribly. I don't think he sounds like a friend or partner material.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    He is abusive and you are passive. He also sounds like a bully. This is not what healthy relationships are made of. You are better off without this guy. Find a nice, kind guy who will appreciate you for you and make you happy, not miserable. You can block and delete this guy so he cant pester you.
    Yes. The advantage of breaking up with people who are far away is that you can block and delete so that you don't need to deal with their BS or interrupt your healing progress.

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