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Thread: My boyfriend tried to break up with me...then said he needed a break

  1. #1

    My boyfriend tried to break up with me...then said he needed a break

    This just happened last week on Mother’s Day. We have been together for 19 months and we known each other for 3 years. The first time we dated, it didn’t end up well. We went on 3 dates and then he decided not to date me anymore and date another girl. We were still working together. Him and the girl broke up around May/June, I reach out to him around October and we start seeing each other, this time around we end up in a relationship. I have always had problems expressing myself emotional and letting people in and we would have some small arguments about it and sometimes I would distant myself. However, I started to be more open and I was trying harder to be more open. This past December his mom moved out and he had nowhere to leave. He moved in with my family and I. Things were fine until late March when we all moved to a smaller house. Things started to change. We were much busier and getting on each other nerves. He had told me that he wasn’t feeling like himself and I tried my best to change my behavior and let him be but it didn’t work. Before the break up, he told me he was moving out and I freak out and I didn’t speak to him for two days almost. On Mother’s Day, we woke up and we started cuddling and he was kissing me. He started talking about how he wasn’t feeling like himself and then he started to talk about ex girlfriends and then I asked him if he wanted to work things out, he said he didnt know. I took it as a yes and he proceed on hugging me and cuddling me. I tried to have sex with him, and then that’s when everything blew up and he told he was trying to break up with me. I started crying and begging him and telling him how much I loved him. He kept on trying to hug me and trying to make me feel better. After an hour or two he tells me that he changes his mind and he doesn’t know. He isn’t sure of us anymore. He is confuse. He feels like he is making a mistake. I ask him what he means and he says that we are on a break. He stays in the house for two more days and I keep trying to plead him to change his mind. On Wednesday morning, we talk again and he isn’t going to be living anymore in the house and he will gone for the week. I said okay. I ask him again what’s going on with us. I need to know if we are done or not. He says that everything will be okay and he kisses me on more time on the mouth and says it won’t be our last kiss. We promise not to contact each other but I break up the promise a day later because my mom feeds me this story that he might have someone else. He calls me back and says he doesn’t. He then says he will call me on Sunday. I text him on Sunday to tell him that I have found a home for the duck we got together and he is sad but understands. He then says he will call me later after he is off work. He doesn’t. I didn’t erase his number but I did his messages. I am very confuse still because he never said we were over. I told myself I will give him time but I don’t know if that’s even okay anymore.

  2. #2
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    This man isnt with you for the right reasons, OP. Youve never been his first option and hes realizing he cant continue dating you knowing he doesnt feel the same way you do.

    Its is indeed over.

  3. #3
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    I'm sorry, OP. Your bf or exbf does not view you as a top priority.

    You're a place holder gf. Someone to be there for him when he's single, or needs something...but when someone better comes along - you get moved to the bottom of the list.

    No amount of pleading will make him change his mind. If anything, it just drives him further away from you. If only love were like the movies where persistance paid off :-)

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Did he find another place to live? Was he fed up with the living situation? He did try to tell you it's over so you do know where you stand, but seem to not want to let go? Let him go. If you have to take in homeless guys, it's not a good situation.
    Originally Posted by mssgrande
    This past December his mom moved out and he had nowhere to leave. He moved in with my family and I. Things were fine until late March when we all moved to a smaller house.

    he told he was trying to break up with me. I started crying and begging him and telling him how much I loved him.
    he isn’t going to be living anymore in the house and he will gone for the week.

  5.  

  6. #5
    He used to having a bigger space and being able to bring friends. I think he felt pressure because I was 2 years away from finishing school and he at 21 was still trying to figure his future and career. He didnt know what he wanted to be and no one wanted to take him in and it was meant to be temporary. He wanted I and him to move out together long before he moved in with my family. I worked a lot too so I didnt always have time for him but I tried but I think the constant bickering and not spending enough together got to him. I still love him and if he asked me to take him back right now I would but I havent reach out since then because I am not a beggar.

  7. #6
    He decided to choose the other girl because he didnt think I liked him. He hadnt been dating for a long time and I had ever dated so it was awkward and weird to begin with. I am starting to realize he never care or loved me. I feel very used.

  8. #7
    He used. I know he did but I guess sometimes things change and I am starting to understand. I just need him to tell me if we are done so I can move on and start seeing other people. I dont want on him anymore.

  9. #8
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    I am so sorry this happening. Relationships can be very complicated at times. Know what your self-worth is before getting into relationships. Love yourself first and require it from anyone you enter a relationship with. Sometimes, it is good to grow and develop as an individual before sharing our lives with someone. This is not the end of the road; better days are ahead.


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