Ex blocked my number and unfollowed my social media

The day after my ex and I broke up her friend reached out to me letting me know that she was sorry I was hurting but that I was going to find a perfect girl one day. As soon as I read the message I was like wow her friend must know something else. So I started asking her questions about the break up and she ended up telling my ex. My ex then called me saying “why are you harassing my friends?” and I was like she reached out to me. I just wanted to know the truth. She then told me a little bit more about why she decided to end things. I got pissed because I knew I couldn’t say anything to make her want me so I told her to have a nice life and to never talk to me again and hung up. I tried to reach out a few days later but I found out I was blocked. Her friend had also blocked me. What do you think I should do guys? She also unfollowed me on every social media platform and blocked my snapchat.

She pretty much said she had felt a spark with a guy and she wanted date other people after 5 years of dating me.

I got pissed because I knew I couldn’t say anything to make her want me so I told her to have a nice life and to never talk to me again and hung up. I tried to reach out a few days later.....

Well that was your first mistake.....^^ You told her never to speak to you again and then tried to reach out to her...? I hope you can see the problem there now that I've pointed it out....

What do you think I should do guys?

Grieve. Heal. Take care of yourself. Build a good life for yourself. Be the best you can be*

Be grateful every day for the things you DO have*

Carus*

Lol I said it out of anger

Lol so you’re saying she won’t reach out to me either?

I just want peace. I don’t want anyone thinking negative about me.

The day after my ex and I broke up her friend reached out to me letting me know that she was sorry I was hurting but that I was going to find a perfect girl one day. As soon as I read the message I was like wow her friend must know something else. So I started asking her questions about the break up and she ended up telling my ex. My ex then called me saying “why are you harassing my friends?” and I was like she reached out to me. I just wanted to know the truth. She then told me a little bit more about why she decided to end things. I got pissed because I knew I couldn’t say anything to make her want me so I told her to have a nice life and to never talk to me again and hung up. I tried to reach out a few days later but I found out I was blocked. Her friend had also blocked me. What do you think I should do guys? She also unfollowed me on every social media platform and blocked my snapchat.

Bro,

You've been handed a golden opportunity. This is an opportunity to rebuild and ultimately improve yourself beyond your wildest dreams. You, however, must accept that this relationship is dead and gone. Her attraction for you is nearly or around 0. At this point, disappearing from her life is your only option. That means completely blowing off all of her texts, calls, messages, etc. for at least 4 months. Completely remove her from all social media. It'll hurt like heck, but once you do it, you'll be on the road to recovery. Healing yourself is the #1 priority. That means you must totally remove her from your life.

I've been in shoes before. Here's what I did to rebuild myself and ultimately create the best version of myself.

1. Hit the gym, hard. Lift weights at least 5x per week. Keep your cardio up. After a few months, you'll start to look amazing. You'll need new clothes, too. Find someone who has good style to help you.

2. Join clubs, sports team, volunteer. Stay busy and active. Meet as many new people as you can.

3. Keep an online journal. Write down all of your feelings. Don't share it with anyone you know.

After a few months, you won't want her anymore. That's when she'll reappear. By then, you won't want her anymore. It's just the way life works.

Watch the movie 'Swingers' this week. It's one of the best representations of this situation.

I just want peace. I don’t want anyone thinking negative about me.

She's not thinking negatively about you, besides try taking the mental attitude that this is her loss, not yours. When she closed the door on you, she gave you the gift of getting to the stage of indifference to her so you'll be open in mind and heart when the girl you are to be with next, walks through the other door.

Take this opportunity to have fun as a single and put her behind you.

Would you ever consider trying again with an ex like this down the line? She is 24 and has 3 years left of med school before she moves back to my area.

Would you ever consider trying again with an ex like this down the line? She is 24 and has 3 years left of med school before she moves back to my area.

Getting back together occasionally happens in situations like yours however: She broke up with you to experiment with another man. I wouldn't wait around for her, just get on with your life and get out there and date as well once you're feeling more like your fine self. She knows where to find you if she ever figures out that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. Whatever you do, don't put a lock on your heart to others by hoping she will try again with you.

Why do I keep talking about her and asking everyone’s opinion on why I’m blocked?

Why do I keep talking about her and asking everyone’s opinion on why I’m blocked?

Because you are going through a with drawl period from no longer having someone in your life that has been there for quite some time. You will adjust in time and your brain will stop looking for answers. The closer you get to the stage of indifference to her (which zero contact will get you there quicker) the less you will dwell.

Great take here! I need to improve myself. In a way I think I was holding myself back from more growth because I was just waiting on her to graduate from med school. I moved by to my parents and the only growth I’ve done since is start my own business but I put other stuff on hold.

Great take here! I need to improve myself. In a way I think I was holding myself back from more growth because I was just waiting on her to graduate from med school. I moved by to my parents and the only growth I’ve done since is start my own business but I put other stuff on hold.

Well, time to remove all holds and focus on all the stuff you've put on the back burner.

Btw, people normally block ex's precisely for this reason - to stop the temptation to contact, check, look, end in some on again/off again mess. It's just ripping off the bandaid quickly so you can both heal and move on faster and better. It stops break ups from becoming a messy, murky, drawn out mess where you both end up stagnating. By blocking you, she really did you a favor and gave you the gift of changing your focus quickly. Yeah, it hurts and it's hard to change your habits and desire to contact her, but when you've been blocked, that process becomes so much faster and one day, you realize that you haven't thought about your ex in ages and feel at peace. Life does get good again.

She only blocked me on Snapchat and my number. She probably still wants to see what I’m up to.

She even unfollowed my business Facebook page lol

She only blocked me on Snapchat and my number. She probably still wants to see what I’m up to.

Try to get her out of your head. Stop trying to figure out her motives and instead work on you so that you are the best you that you can be when you meet someone new. No chick wants to get with a guy that is still creeping his ex on social media. That action clearly shows you are not over her and no one wants to be your rebound or dropped should some ex who broke his heart comes sniffing back around.

Yeah that’s true! I’m not ready to date again tbh

So you wouldn’t consider this a messy break up?

So you wouldn’t consider this a messy break up?

Why is the answer to that important to you?

So you wouldn’t consider this a messy break up?

It does not matter, dude. The relationship is over. You will always have questions regarding exactly what happened, where and how you could have done better, and most of them you will never get. The breakup is fresh and healing is a process. I'm not judging or faulting you for the way you're thinking right now, but you need to consider the relationship as over. Yes, it's possible you'll get back together one day, it happens for some, but for most people it doesn't.

Please really absorb to the best of your ability what others have said in this thread and treat it as if it's gone for good. Focusing on improving yourself and actually healing, becoming a better, wiser, stronger and more mature you will benefit you the most whether it's the ex that wants you back or a fresh, new relationship. But she has to be the one to come to you, and otherwise you leave her in the past.

So you wouldn’t consider this a messy break up?

Personally, no. She dumped you. Her friend meddled in that when she had no business to do so. Of course you are hurt, your emotions are high right and lots of questions running through your mind. She did talk to you a bit more. As much closure as a person can give you really. Then she blocked further contact precisely to avoid any drama or mess. This helps both of you to move on.

Right now, things are actually quite clean as far as long term relationship break ups go. Once you have both healed and moved forward, it does leave you both in a situation where if you happened to run into each other somewhere, you can be civil to each other. So do leave it at that. I know hoping that they'll realize their mistake and come back crawling is powerful......but.....better to focus on YOU and all those things you've been neglecting while waiting on her. Life is too short. Focus on yourself and you'll get to a better place before you know it.

This is the opposite of a messy breakup. You were together, now you are not. Happens. Sucks. Hugs. Now you feel the feelings, accept the loss, and start stepping forward—first baby steps, soon big ones. The pain lets up, the lessons expand, and you find yourself grateful for your time without obsessing over it. Life, in short. You don't get the sweetness without the stings.

Messy is when people pretend that's not the case, when they keep texting, rehashing things till the end of time, having on-off breakup sex until they hate each other and themselves, and so on—two people turned to vultures, picking at the dead carcass of their dead relationship in hopes of reviving it.

You'd love for this to be messy, it's pretty clear. You'd love to be poking and getting poked on social media, messing with her, being messed with by her, talking to her—and, of course, being back with her. If you can focus on that big mess—and keep making it messier—you don't have to accept what's your reality now. So all this—the obsessing you're doing—is a form of self-protection: a little show of drama to distract you from the real show, which is that you're no longer in a relationship.

It's all human. We've all been there. It sucks! But this is where you get to grow, so take a moment right now and look at yourself in the mirror. Do you want to be a man obsessing over being blocked on Snapchat by a woman who's exploring a spark with another dude? Or do you want to be someone else, a man learning to feel his feelings, a man who can put his ego aside and grow from pain, a man who right now as the opportunity to grow into a new, stronger shape that he will one day share again with a woman?

That choice is yours. Social media, texting, friends, blocking: that is the easy path, but it's just walking on a treadmill. The other route? It's a bit harder, and lonelier in the beginning, but it actually leads you somewhere new—somewhere much, much better than the place you're in right now.

I'm still waiting to find out why you want an answer to that question, Bro. How will knowing if it was messy or not help you to heal? Tell me in your words!

Breakups can be rough, sorry about that. Date other women even though you may not want to, it's good therapy.