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Thread: Husband said him or the dogs

  1. #61
    Platinum Member
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    May 2017
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    I don't understand this whole issue.

    Why didn't you leave him when you first discovered his cheating?

    The nerve of this Grade A a-hole you're married to, sleeping with lord knows how many women, telling you that you have to get rid of dogs, when it's what you do for a living.

    My advice? Make the choice for him.

  2. #62
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Mar 2019
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    If husband and wife can't resolve issues, then try professional marriage counseling. If that fails, you both either endure and tolerate current conditions, make changes, compromise or if it's intolerable, then divorce. Those are your choices.

    Sure, wake up, stopping giving and stand firm. You'll have self respect. However, will this solve the problem for you, the children, dogs and the move from the farm? Only time will tell. Hopefully, this can be resolved and if not, only husband and wife will know what is best for them.

  3. #63
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Apr 2006
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    It sounds like there's been an uneven power dynamic in this relationship for a long while. He propels, you follow along. You mentioned he has a job where it's two weeks gone, one week back. Those are usually hard labour jobs ( oil, construction, trades). So this office job probably means more to him than simply impressing people. He may be tired, older, and burnt out living that life. I get the impression too he has done most of the providing? 6 dogs, horses, raising your godchildren doesn't come cheap. Cheaper dog food might not cut it. Are you being realistic with this? You may be, but it's a question.

    With the cheating and forgiving, the real reason there isn't loving deeply. Maybe it goes back to this power dynamic?

    Just a different perspective to consider. I've known situations where one partner works to primarily provide, and the other partner keeps adding to the load to the point that if something were to happen or come retirement age, there's nothing there. Sometimes they snap.
    I'm not so sure he actually would mean to put down ant dogs, but rather, he's been trying to let you know how he's been drowning for a while now.

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