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Thread: Advice from any dumpers out there please

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
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    12
    Have not initiated contact since last tuesday, he has messaged several times but we haven't really talked. I even deleted his number so i wouldn't be able to message first.

    Its the guilt that is all consuming at the moment, i realise i pushed him away. I took him for granted and was not affectionate enough. I get why he cheated and i can't blame him for leaving. I wish he would give me a chance to make things better. It could be so different now. I feel worse now than i did months ago. Is it worth telling him what i realise now? I feel sick for losing the best thing that ever happened to me.

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    12
    I can not believe the difference a week makes. Ok I still have had sad moments but im feeling more positive. I realise that I will be ok with or without my ex now. Yes i contributed to us not having a perfect relationship but I didnt push him to walking away with not even a glance back.

    I managed to go 6 days with no contact before he messaged to say he was popping to the house to pick something up and would wait till I was back to see me. I said I would be late and not to worry but he waited. He commented on how I had not been messaging much and that I should more. He noticed some changes to my appearance and said how nice I looked. As he was leaving he said he wanted to clean my work van for me (it is grubby) and would pop by to do so and take me to lunch this week. I am fully convinced he will cancel so didnt question his intentions. I didnt show any interest and have gone back to not messaging. For the first time since the BU i didnt sit there after wondering what it meant.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    8,749
    OP, I would be very, very careful here.

    A lot of cheaters will try to come back when their new love interest has cooled off, giving their dumpees hope. Then they take off again as soon as the new crush has warmed back up or they find someone else altogether. His current behaviour has guilt written all over it, in my personal opinion. I would seriously question his motives here, and not trust that this is a serious reconciliation attempt.

  4. #24
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    12
    Thank you for reply. I am being very careful. I honestly dont think he is coming back. I imagine all this is to relieve his guilt and make him believe he is the good guy by 'releasing me' to enjoy a better life! The thing i have come to realise is i lost nothing from him walking away in the long term, better to know now then after marriage. He lost someone who would have been loving and committed for the rest of my life.

    Of course I still have feelings but it would not be so easy to walk back in to my life now.

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