I'm in love with my best friend,and I don't know if she loves me back

Ok,this is a really long story,so I'll try to keep it short.

Three years ago I entered med school,few months later I entered in an academic group and there was this girl of my class. Semesters passed,life was good,I didn't really kept much contact with her,but last semester we began talking slightly more and this semester we randomly got all of the same classes together(We've never had any of those) and BAM,out of nothing we began spending days and days on together and quickly that began an indescribably good friendship and progressively more intimate. As you must imagine,I fell in love after organizing her surprise birthday party,I didn't feel much romantically speaking before that honestly,but when it came,it came tumbling all my life. After that we began speaking almost everyday everytime, it was probably the best time of my life,we talked deep things, she sent me photos of when she woke up,when going to sleep,even photos in pretty revealing clothes,etc,but with all that I still was happy as a friend. Then I started noticing some signs that she may would like something more(like randomly saying ''You know,this guy is hitting on me(shows picture of the guy)'' and saying ''Oh,no,he's just a friend,just a friend'' in a rushed nervous tone when she spoke to a random guy when we were walking down the street as well as some signs she wasn't interested on me,like spending days barely talking. Anyway,now we're on a pretty weird place,she's incredibly busy with college and isn't talking as much,if any(sidenote: three days ago she sent me photos in a pretty sexy pijama she bought), I'm considering trying to step things up,but I'm not sure. I don't want to lose this friendship. I can't describe how it makes me happy when I'm having a ty day and suddenly she sends a picture with her dog,having fun,damn,it seriously made me cry of happiness more than once. I also don't want to lose a chance I might have and just didn't realize.

What should I do?

Thanks

It's tough, especially when you've been such close friends, but ultimately if you don't tell her then she may never know and you could miss a potential chance. I know you don't want to risk the awkwardness and possible loss of a friendship. I think if she is truly a friend that she will remain friends with you even if she doesn't feel the same as long as you've said how you feel and if she doesn't feel the same just leave it be.

I have a best friend of 11 years and he's liked me for years. We are very close but I have never been able to think of him romantically and I've even entertained the thought of trying and I just can't. However, I'm still his best friend to this day. I'm not saying that this wouldn't be awkward for either of you two because at times it can be but our friendship is stronger than any of that.

You gotta decide for yourself what you can handle but ultimately if you want to know if she'll ever take it further than friendship you have to let her know.

Thanks for the answer!

Yeah,I'm seriously thinking on doing that,the thing is that ,as I said up there,we're in a pretty tough spot right now,she isn't talking that much currently. Noted,I'm sure she's incredibly tired because of her college duties,but I'm not exactly sure if there'are shades of ''You lost your chance'' in there,that's my fear. That weights on my mind when I see other guys talking to her, she gets way more talkative with them,the thing is that I'm not sure if that's politeness of her(since I know she's mighty tired) or more signs I'm done. She is indeed saying she'd like a boyfriend though.

Do you think I should just throw it or wait for a special occasion(or at least until things settle a little),our class party is coming(next moth) as well as valentine's day and our semester recess. There are lots of guys chasing her ,that's my biggest fear.

Haha, don;t tell them your feelings, that's lame. If you want to start a relationship, you kiss her.

On the other hand, if you want to remain friends, just find another girlfriend.

Do you think I should just throw it or wait for a special occasion(or at least until things settle a little),our class party is coming(next moth) as well as valentine's day and our semester recess. There are lots of guys chasing her ,that's my biggest fear.

If it was me, I would just go ahead and tell her. Waiting is just going to drag it out more. I would tell her one on one vs at an event with lots of people. There's always going to be some reason in your head to make you afraid to tell her. At some point you either push through it and just be open and honest or you hold it in and miss an opportunity. Ultimately it's up to you and if you feel ready or capable of pushing out of your comfort zone to speak up. However, also, the longer you wait.. the more likely the opportunity could pass if she were to end up dating someone.

Maybe my advice might not be the best but I think the suggestion of just trying to kiss her sounds a bit lame. If I was best friends with someone and they never talked to me once about the possibility of dating or taking things further I would not appreciate just being blindsided with a kiss. I would think it would be more respectful to tell the person how you felt first. You don't have to be all mushy gushy or go full on detail. Don't write a whole book. Just short, sweet, and to the point.

If she sent you a picture in sexy jammies, unless you are her "male girlfriend" i would just ask her out on a date. Or hint "hey, a woman asked me out one day and i told her that i was already stuck on someone....." if she is telling you all the guys are "just friends". What have you got to lose? Don't "confess to her" -- try to get the ball rolling like that to find out if she is receptive in a playful manner.

Tell her. Just don't make it weird--don't try to make it a huge thing or a big reveal. Simply say something like "have you ever thought about what it would be like to date me?" or "I love our relationship and am interested in seeing how we would be as a couple." If you don't tell her, it will eat at you. If she is truly your friend, she will either try it or, or at the very least, she will still be your dear friend.

If a woman has a close male friend and that said male friend has romantic interest in her, she is probably very aware of it already.

I would say you probably shouldn't stay friends with someone you have romantic feelings for. It just gets awkward the longer that develops. So if you are going to probably lose the friendship anyway (either now or in the future when the awkwardness hits a breaking point), there isn't much to lose in seeing if your feelings might be mutual. Don't make a big deal of where your feelings are coming from or how long you have harbored them. Ask her if she'd be interested to date you.

Story of my life. In one case, the friendship got better after I revealed my feelings and she turned me down - because I got over her. In another case, she accepted my offer to date and we had a relationship.

I am finding myself in a similar situation. What makes my situation awkward is that we are planning on being housemates and I have made the decision to tell her how I feel. I genuinely think it's best to be honest with your friend because if you don't, it will be all you think about and it will start to affect other parts of your life.

Just breathe, be short and to the point (but sensitive), and tell her. Don't live a life not knowing.

I am finding myself in a similar situation. What makes my situation awkward is that we are planning on being housemates and I have made the decision to tell her how I feel. I genuinely think it's best to be honest with your friend because if you don't, it will be all you think about and it will start to affect other parts of your life.

 

Just breathe, be short and to the point (but sensitive), and tell her. Don't live a life not knowing.

Yeah moving in with someone you are into who isn't into you sounds terrifying... good luck.

She is totally stringing you along. She loves the confidence of knowing that you are interested, but doesn't necessarily want to step things up. As women, we (well a lot of us) love male attention. It's flattering and it makes us feel good. She loves the attention you are showing her. But her quick reply of "no, he's just a friend" is a very sharp line in the sand. She basically wants to tease you and have you fawn over her while, in all truth, she is probably not that interested in anything romantic. The fact that she shows you pictures of other guys that "like" her just shows her immaturity. She is trying to make you jealous, and at the same time, make sure that you know that she is wanted and worthy of extra attention. It's crappy.

Trust me. I've been there and done that. And then I grew up and matured. She needs to do the same, and you need to move on.