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Is my friends with benefits (M) confused?


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My fwb broke it off because he had a girlfriend but he told me he still wanted to be friends so we did I went over his house we were laying in his bed when he started feeling me up and said "is this ok with you?" And I said "yeah this is fine" and he kept going a little further once he kissed my breasts stared into my eyes than all the sudden stopped and layed next to me and said "I don't know if I can do this, I'll feel too bad" and I was like "so you do or you don't want to?" He was like "I don't know I do want to but I don't want to feel bad. Want to just go out to eat now?" And we left and went out to eat when we got there he said he didn't want to leave the car and I got mad and he ended up coming out anyway but he talked to me the whole time opened doors, held my stuff and was really nice to me about everything. I'm confused on why he still wants me if he has a girlfriend though? I'm guessing the wanting to stay in the car part was because of his girlfriend. The whole relationship we had was super secret he didn't even want me telling my best friend and told me if I wanted to talk about something to talk to him about it and was really weird about me going out with other guys that weren't him. He also was really weird about me telling people we'd go out together still.

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Sweetheart: What is it you would like to change about all that ^^^? Please say you want to start loving yourself enough to chuck this chuckler and start realizing that you deserve more than being a secret. Branch out and quickly get rid of men who are clearly showing you that they are not even a friend but rather an eff buddy who doesn't respect or trust you even enough to have you mention his name to others. He is Totally shady and untrustworthy.

 

Stop all contact while you figure out what your end dating goal is and then form the boundaries that apply to that goal.

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I'm sorry you're in this situation but signing up for FWBs is not the same as entering into a relationship, and usually has a short shelf life, as well.

 

Having said that, it may be helpful to raise your standards, and avoid demoting yourself into a FWBs agreement which compared to a true relationship is comparable to settling for crumbs. You deserve better, and of course this is JMO...

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Do you enjoy being someone's secret?

 

Why is it okay for you to be his sidepiece? Have you once considered how this would hurt his gf?

 

He likes the attention, and will possibly be hitting you up for sex again. So sad that this is satisfactory for you.

 

He does not respect or give a sh*t about you.

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Girl. No.

 

This guy has no respect for you, because you have no respect for either. Dudes like this will keep taking whatever they can, because they care primarily about themselves and their own needs - not yours, not their girlfriends'. He does this, well, because you let him.

 

Do you not believe you can do better than being a side-chick?

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How do you presume his girlfriend would feel knowing he's lying in bed with another woman feeling her up and playing with her breasts?

 

Or do you think that's not your problem?

 

Make like this lack some much conscience it's really saddening. I feel so bad for the gf, she deserves so much better.

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