Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 9 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 82

Thread: Girlfriend Can’t Orgasm from Penetration

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    20,767
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    You had a perfect opportunity to add an addendum to that reassurance that you won't leave her over it by telling her that you wouldn't leave her over it but you would certainly be up for her learning to love it like you love giving her face. You could have told her you would only ever expect she experiment down there on you after you have showered and cleaned under your foreskin if you are not cut.
    I'd bring it up again when the opportunity arises to do so without it looking like a lecture.

    Happy experimenting!
    ^^^^^^ She should be reciprocating.

  2. #22
    Silver Member Goodfellas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    526
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    You had a perfect opportunity to add an addendum to that reassurance that you won't leave her over it by telling her that you wouldn't leave her over it but you would certainly be up for her learning to love it like you love giving her face.
    I’m certain I’ve reassured her enough to the point where she noted her love and appreciation to me multiple times, but this is a good idea.

    To be clear, mine DOESN’T smell specifically, she must’ve had some dank ones in the past I guess because she’s averse to going down on men. I’ve even suggested in the shower but she politely declines.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    2,623
    Gender
    Male
    I'm going to big picture this a bit.

    Your girlfriend sounds like she has—how do I say this?—a view of sex that is kind of adolescent. On one level, she's down to explore; on another, she's kind of scared and grossed out by it. She doesn't really know herself yet, and so she's easily influenced by outside forces and insecure that she is not doing it "right."

    She's scared you'll get bored not because she won't go down on you but that she doesn't have much confidence in herself sexually. Is she "good"? Is she "normal'? These are the questions on her mind—why I used the word adolescent, because they're the questions that torture teenagers.

    Fortunately, it sounds like you kind of like all this: where some get off on, I don't know, regular and enthusiastic oral sex you get off on being the patient sexual teacher and listener, reassuring her that she's so good, so normal, and so on, and watching her become a little less insecure and a little more open along the way.

    So maybe the little ring thing presents another step toward her security and awakening—to graduating from adolescence to adulthood sexually. Or maybe not. Don't think that matters, really, since your sex life is less about a fluid, mutual giving-and-receiving on the physical side than a kind of ongoing experiment focused on her comfort, awakening, and pleasure.

  4. #24
    Silver Member Goodfellas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    526
    Gender
    Male
    Whoa—that is a LARGE picture haha. I do agree with it to an extent as she’s experienced (i.e. has preferences) but not overly (i.e. not into experimenting). The gals chatting about it this weekend has made a lightbulb go off that maybe “she’s not good” so I take it as my responsibility to tell her she actually is but we can work, together, on A, B and C.

    Thanks for that great insight, bluecastle!

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,443
    Gender
    Female
    Sounds really selfish to me that she won't even do oral on you. I mean, you don't have to enjoy something when it's a gift to your partner. People's jaws ache, etc. Scented lube could mask any aversions to smells. How long have you dated? If it's a fairly new relationship, it could be why you're not bored yet. Is she selfish in other areas too, or is it just in this area? Perhaps you're still in the honeymoon phase to overlook these types of things. If not, you're a very easygoing person or have very low expectations because you're being the sole giver and she's being the sole taker.

  7. #26
    Silver Member Goodfellas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    526
    Gender
    Male
    She jokes that she’s selfish but she actually has a big heart and is a very compassionate nurse. She’s thoughtful and considerate to me, friends and family too.

    Not sure your definition of “new” but we’ve been together since October 2017 so nearly two years. Is that honeymoon? I don’t think so.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    3,932
    Here’s my two cents.

    I didn’t like oral with my ex because he didn’t seem like he enjoyed it AT ALL. Do you seem like you enjoy it or do you sit there quietly?

    I don’t like doing the deed but if the guy seems to enjoy it then it’s much better...

  9. #28
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    2,623
    Gender
    Male
    When she jokes that she is selfish, do you reassure her that she's not—that's she's a kind and compassionate nurse, thoughtful friend, and great girlfriend? Like, is that little back and forth part of your dynamic?

  10. #29
    Silver Member Goodfellas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    526
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    I didn’t like oral with my ex because he didn’t seem like he enjoyed it AT ALL. Do you seem like you enjoy it or do you sit there quietly?
    I give prompts indicating I’m enjoying it, yes. I would appreciate if she would even offer!

    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    When she jokes that she is selfish, do you reassure her that she's not—that's she's a kind and compassionate nurse, thoughtful friend, and great girlfriend? Like, is that little back and forth part of your dynamic?
    We have playful banter about her bedroom selfishness and how it doesn’t align with her out of bedroom selflessness.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    2,623
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Goodfellas
    We have playful banter about her bedroom selfishness and how it doesn’t align with her out of bedroom selflessness.
    Well, if that's working for you, all good.

    But I have to say it sounds like you do an awful lot of supporting, soothing, assuring, and appreciating—among other acts—while she playfully banters about not giving much of the same in return.

Page 3 of 9 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •