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Thread: He keeps liking pictures of a girl he dated

  1. #1

    He keeps liking pictures of a girl he dated

    My boyfriend has a girl he used to fool around with on Instagram (and yes they had sex) and I was ok cause she is now married with another girl. But recently I found out that he had been liking all her ty pictures and that pissed me off.. i asked him to delete her account and since last week i asked him to do that we argued and stopped talking cause I'm so pissed off at him cause he still has not deleted her... what advice would you give me? I don't understand why he would do that?

  2. #2
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    Random thoughts:

    #1 - He clearly doesn't understand or respect you.
    #2 - He's probably not totally happy in his current relationship if he's seeking this connection elsewhere.
    #3 - If you put up with it now, you're basically paving the way for future disrespect. Why would he ever put your feelings first when he knows you'll just back down and take it?
    #4 - There's a nice way to talk about this. Like "hey...I don't want to sound controlling or jealous, and I'm not...but can you see how one might feel annoyed by this? How would you feel if I started liking an ex-bf's pictures?"

  3. #3
    Silver Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    He doesn't think about your feelings because he's selfish, lacks consideration for your feelings, lacks empathy and simply doesn't care how you feel. This is a big red flag and character flaw. The real question you need to ask yourself is, are you willing to accept him as your boyfriend given that he's not 100% loyal and devoted to you with all his heart? Is he worth keeping as your boyfriend or will this bother you for a long time coming? This is the soul searching part that you need to ask yourself. This problem will not go away. This is what you have to deal with and will cause more arguments.

    You need to remember that people will not change for you especially if they're stubborn, bullheaded and truly don't care about your feelings and opinions. These types of people see nothing wrong with what they're doing and they will continue to do as they please whether you like it or not. The more you disapprove, the more resistance and push back you will receive. You either accept him as he is, continue fighting as an act of futility, argue as if you're beating a dead horse or change the way you think. Make a decision by telling yourself you deserve to be with a man who will treat you right, treat you with the utmost respect and honor or accept your boyfriend as is warts and all.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I think Cinder is spot on.

    If he's not going to respect you and stop the nonsense with other woman right in front of your face, then it's time to show him the door.

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  6. #5
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    I actually have a different view on this situation, but before that, a question. How was your relationship going before this drama started? I think there's a lot to be said for separating social-media from reality, and if everything was great between the two of you before this whole thing, then try to keep that in mind before making any brash decisions.

    I understand they have a history but the girl is now married... to another girl at that. Some dude in her past is probably the last thing she's thinking about. I also don't see adding a quick 'like' (literally a simple click that basically just says, "I saw this") to pics of someone as something to be irate about. I've had gfs in the past who would regularly 'like' pics of hot dudes, celebs, or whoever and it doesn't mean a freaking thing. Again, focus on the real world, because social-media is definitely not that.

    Would you also be pissed if he was masturbating to hotties in porn? Do you think he never fantasizes about or has eyes for girls that aren't you? He does and always will, and you'll be attracted to others as well. It's normal, and I think you're overreacting. Maybe just avoid IG, twitter, whatever else for a while and see if the relationship feels right to you when you're not obsessing over simple clicks of a heart icon.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It not your job to manage his social media. It's your job to carefully observe what's going on and decide if you want to break up.
    Originally Posted by BrendaArce
    i asked him to delete her account and since last week i asked him to do that we argued and stopped talking cause I'm so pissed off at him cause he still has not deleted her..

  8. #7

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    I'm not saying this in support of the guy, but I have read and heard this kind of complaint a lot these days.

    I am strongly in support of your argument for the separation of Social Media and Real Life, because honestly, ladies are more guilty of this offence than men. They rave on about a man liking a picture of a hot girl or his ex on social media when they, amongst themselves, talk loudly about how hot Justin Beiber is and how they wished they could have a night out with him.

  9. #8
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Start liking guys pics online, or talking to other guys. Let him see how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot, maybe he'll get it.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LikeWater
    I actually have a different view on this situation, but before that, a question. How was your relationship going before this drama started? I think there's a lot to be said for separating social-media from reality, and if everything was great between the two of you before this whole thing, then try to keep that in mind before making any brash decisions.

    I understand they have a history but the girl is now married... to another girl at that. Some dude in her past is probably the last thing she's thinking about. I also don't see adding a quick 'like' (literally a simple click that basically just says, "I saw this") to pics of someone as something to be irate about. I've had gfs in the past who would regularly 'like' pics of hot dudes, celebs, or whoever and it doesn't mean a freaking thing. Again, focus on the real world, because social-media is definitely not that.

    Would you also be pissed if he was masturbating to hotties in porn? Do you think he never fantasizes about or has eyes for girls that aren't you? He does and always will, and you'll be attracted to others as well. It's normal, and I think you're overreacting. Maybe just avoid IG, twitter, whatever else for a while and see if the relationship feels right to you when you're not obsessing over simple clicks of a heart icon.
    ^^^ This! ^^^

  11. #10
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    One thing I have little to no patience for in a relationship is the "policing" of social media. It is not real life and using it to determine someone's status in a relationship (or on anything, really) is not only ineffective but damaging. Everyone uses it in a different way, if they use it at all.

    Now, let me add -- someone's SM footprint can be a good window into their actual personality. For example, someone can use it to post something that is clearly meant to "send a message," but can instantly say you're wrong about the intent and make it totally deniable as a Middle Finger Moment.

    This is where discussing and agreeing on boundaries is absolutely essential in a relationship, and I do believe that accounts for things like social media, contact with exes, etc. But I think this ties well with what Wiseman said - if after realizing you have different ideas of acceptable boundaries on something, you can then decide whether it's something you can continue to deal with.

    *edit - typos


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