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Girls keeps saying she doesnt wana lose me but keeps ignoring


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I had a complex situation that brought me here. I had a female fried who wanted me to date her. At that time, were not in the same state and she said she doesnt wana do distance. I did one effort and sacrifice and got a job in her city. After i told her about the offer, she got excited and we had intimate conversation over the phone. Its been five months since i moved to her town but she is continuously ignoring my texts and keeps cancelling the hangout. When i asked her whats going on, she said she doesnt know if she is attracted to me and want to decide after we hangout. But she keeps cancelling since past 5 months. She also says that she doesnt wana lose me but as I am being super crazy with my emotions (Just because of her behavior) that is pushing her away. I am too puzzled and confused and dont really know what to do in this situation. I am getting all the signs that she doesnt even wana meet me now.

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Unless you're already in an established relationship where one person had to move before the other joined in that city, you shouldn't uproot yourself for anyone. For one thing, most new relationships fail. For another thing, even though she seemed excited at first, the thought of you making such a major move is really daunting for her. I'm sure it puts pressure on her to think: Oh my God, he moved all this way for me. What if we date and break up? It's a major thing that he came all this way and then I end up dumping him?

 

She's too scared to even begin anything, fearing the end before there's even a beginning.

 

I wouldn't put any more effort into someone who refused to meet me after 5 months, let alone 2 weeks. Either move back to where you're from or make a new life in her town without her.

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You should not have moved to her town. You should have asked her twice, and that should have been it. Five months?? Dude?!?!

 

You need to delete and block her number. She has NEVER been interested. You are making yourself look foolish by continuing to reach out. It is really looking like you have no self respect.

 

Have you even met?

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I know she is not on the same page and I dont wana put any pressure on her but I when she cancels the hangouts and ignores my texts i really feel like she is trying to fade away. When i ask her ' after all these sacrifice and effort, do you wana lose someone like me? ' then she said not she doesnt want to lose but my emotions are pushing her away and i need not to be so emotional.

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It seems that you made the design all on your own to move to her state. She owes you nothing as this was what YOU choose to do. You made the choice to make sacrifices, which you should not have done. Why didn't you date her when you were living in the same city?

 

Also, I thought it was odd that she goes from being a female friend to your best friend. The story sees to be changing, the more i press for answers.

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When I've were in the same city a while ago, we used to talk for hours she was going through broken engagement and she found a best friend in me to get over her ex. I was not really into her a such as she was. She didn't ask fmerelocate but she said she has the strong feelings for me but distance was bothering her.

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Also when we got back in touch last year she herself offered me to hangout with her. But I was not in the same city at that time. I stoped right away, then again she started texting me and because she has been missing me and realized that she had strong feelings for me. She is just being not her since I moved in her town

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Also when we got back in touch last year she herself offered me to hangout with her. But I was not in the same city at that time. I stoped right away, then again she started texting me and because she has been missing me and realized that she had strong feelings for me. She is just being not her since I moved in her town

 

Wait, you weren't in touch, but she was your best friend? That doesn't make sense.

 

I think that she liked the attention. Move on from this. She is not your friend.

 

You made a big move for someone you hadn't spoken to for some time. Not smart.

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I don't think ethnicity makes any difference. At all.

 

I still do not get why you made this move? You said she was your "best friend" now you are saying she is a "friend." Ugh!

 

How can you get closer if she keeps on blowing you off? Cut contact. She is a waste of time!

 

How long has she been broken up from her ex?

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I moved because she revealed that she had strong feelings for me but the distance was bothering her. Ok let's assume that we were close friends used to talk until late nights

 

You hadn't even dated. I think it was foolish.

 

You hadn't spoken in a while, so you could not have been that close. She reconnected with you because she needed male attention. That's it. Did this "good friend" contact you when she was still dating? NO. She like the attention, can't you see that this is a pattern?

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She is using you for attention, does not have feelings for you, and when she finds a new bf, she will disappear. Time to move on with your life, and I hope that you never do this again!

 

She uses you for attention and free therapy.

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When she needed me I tried my best to console her and made her to feel good about herself. When I need at least as a friend she just doesn't care. This really hurts me

 

You sound like a nice guy. Don't let people treat you like this.

 

This was never a friendship, as she simply wanted someone to whine to. She also enjoys the attention. Friendship should not be a therapy session. Support and concern should go both ways and not be about one's problems. How draining.

 

Now, block and delete. Time to find a girl who is interested in you. You have much to offer. And, no more counseling sessions.

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This woman uses you for attention, OP, but obviously doesn't have any interest in dating you.

 

It was not wise to move to her city for her, but that's moot now. You are wasting your time on this. Her words don't line up with her actions, so you need to stop hanging around and hoping she will suddenly do what she says she's going to and meet up with you.

 

My strong suspicion? Her ex is back or she's seeing someone else and doesn't have the courage to be honest with you. She may even want to keep you around as a back-up option in case it doesn't work out. But I would be surprised if she didn't already have another guy in her life, based on the behaviour you describe.

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