The Co-worker you hate celebration

I got a text early in the week about a co-worker whose birthday is coming up. The person asked that we all bring something for a salad bar on Monday. I absolutely cannot stand the birthday girl. She has tried to get me fired, she is super bossy, and tells me I am fat. It has gotten to the point where I just won’t talk to her. I leave the room when she comes in. Everyone else complains about how much of a she is, and has been since she started. Is it the right thing to participate and bring something for her birthday even though I hate salads and her lol?

Just spend the $5.

Yeah give the organizer person $5 and that'll do.

As an aside issue, it sounds like this person has bullied you. Have you told m management about this? Bullying is not tolerated in most workplaces so she shouldn't just get away with it! But regarding the Birthday lunch, I think the mature thing to do would be to bring something small to contribute. I know you loathe this girl but I think her Birthday and in front of all the other staff is not really the right place and time to openly show your dislike.

Don't bother with the celery though! lol

This is more about being smart and a strategic team player. Bring something for that reason. You don't want to show your open hatred to others in the office because it will just make you look bad and, ironically, her like a victim of your hate.

It does sound like she is a bully, so if you have any record, an e-mail, chat message, text message, anything you can to substantiate your claim of her bad behavior, take it with you to HR and let them deal with it. Even there, stay very professional and don't get over emotional. Simply point out that this person is acting/making inappropriate comments, here is evidence of such and leave it at that. The more reasonable and matter of fact you are, the more seriously they'll take you and the more weight what you say will have against her.

Just bring something. You all have to eat.

The harshest way to feel excluded from a company event is to exclude yourself. You'll feel the burn of standing out as hostile, and that's worth a measly dish of something to share with the people on your job who you DO like.

It's not about the 'who,' it's about the team.

The person asked that we all bring something for a salad bar on Monday.

Consider this a response to the requester. That you were asked to bring something by her for your coworkers. Try not to focus that it's in the other persons honor. Take the high road whenever possible. I get that it's difficult but ultimately it makes your life easier in the end.

Bring a kale/Limburger cheese sandwich plate. Lift your passive aggression to a better level than just avoiding participation .

Bring a kale/Limburger cheese sandwich plate. Lift your passive aggression to a better level than just avoiding participation .

I’m really sorry about this and agree that you bring something and tell yourself you’re doing it for the organizer.

Your situation is no different than animosity among family members such as relatives and in-laws during the holidays. I've even encountered the same at church gatherings, too. If you want peace at the workplace, go along with it, bring a salad, an inexpensive but tasteful gift and be a good sport for the sake of keeping the peace. Be the bigger person, take the higher road and remain civil and cordial. Show class. Carry yourself with poise and aplomb.

I too am in uncomfortable situations at the workplace and among some relatives and in-laws whom I despise yet I'm a good sport and do my bit for the sake of peace. It's uncomfortable but always show class no matter what. Get it over with and you will be proud of your behavior everyday and feel better about yourself in the future as well. You don't have to engage nor become unnaturally chatty either. Remain civil yet polite always. A lot of times we have to behave properly no matter what for the sake of everyone else around us which is keeping the peace. Then after the the celebration is over, do your job, remain professional and act with grace. This is how it is when we work together, see each other everyday or during the holidays with family. We don't all like everyone or each other but we keep the peace for the sake of peace and civility.

Exactly this. Do it for your reputation and your coworkers. No one has to like their coworkers. However you both earn a living there so why cut your nose off to spite your face?

This is more about being smart and a strategic team player. Bring something for that reason. You don't want to show your open hatred to others in the office because it will just make you look bad and, ironically, her like a victim of your hate.