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Thread: FWB situation, not sure what she is thinking. Perhaps some theories are welcome

  1. #11
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    I went through the FWB phase before...and feel like it's immature and selfish.

    Every single girl I've ever had that "arrangement" with has fell for me in some way. Like...always. lol. Even if they say they can handle it, deep down, I know they want more.

    Sometimes you just have to look out for other people's best interest, because they cannot do so for themselves.

    If you know you're not going to be into someone...just hold off on sex. It's JUST sex.

  2. #12
    Member FleurDeLys's Avatar
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    I'd say only time will tell. It's impossible to know whether someone will develop feelings for you or not. It's a common thought to think the more time you spend with someone intimately, the more likely you'll be to grow attached to them. While it's not wrong, it's not necessarily true either. I've been in FWB where I've both fallen for people as well as realised it would never be more than that for me, not that I didn't like them, but just didn't think they'd be long term partner material. The best way to avoid getting in a tricky situation is to be honest with each other. If she gets attached, you'll probably notice in different ways anyway. I wouldn't overthink it at the moment, just enjoy the fun time and sees how the future unfold.

  3. #13
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    You can't really predict whether or not she's going to want more. She may be perfectly content with the FWB situation, at least for now. Maybe that might change in the future. That's kind of the nature of the situation.... You don't have any commitment so the future is kind of foggy and both parties have to be okay with no future expectations. You either go with the flow or if it bothers you too much... End it.

    I just recently got out of a FWB situation with a long time friend. Initially, I did start to develop a bit of a crush on him but I'd think that in most cases that's what's going to make it fun on the girls side of things anyway. He just got divorced so I knew he wasn't ready for anything serious and I hadn't been with anyone intimately in a long time but I wasn't wanting to jump into any serious relationships myself. I thought we were on the same page. We were going to be friends that had sex and no commitment. Sure I had feelings for him but I didn't read any further into it til he start opening his mouth. He kept saying wishy washy things. He'd say things like "I don't know if this will turn into something..." and then also he had me around his kids a couple times and would say that he never brings girls around his kids and he liked that I was nurturing.. babbled about how he was in a good place in life and said part of the reason was because I was his best friend and I could just hang out and also that sometimes we can have sex.. etc. He asked me once if I was sleeping with anyone else and that threw me off guard too. I was not but, my opinion is that's kind of an unfair question to be asking in a FWB situation if there is no strings attached. I addressed my confusion with him and he clarified that he doesn't want a relationship with anyone at all. At the time I would have been open to it going somewhere eventually but I was moreso relieved that I had a real clear answer and knew not to believe anything he said otherwise.

    My point of that story was to advise you not to say confusing saying wishy washy things and be very clear! To say you can call it dating or just friends or we can have sex if you want but we don't have to.. etc.. that's sending out mixed signals. Make sure you two are on the same page and keep thoughts of futures and what ifs to yourself unless you are absolutely sure you want to be in a relationship. If you just want to have relax and have fun treat it that way!

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Cinder
    I went through the FWB phase before...and feel like it's immature and selfish.

    Every single girl I've ever had that "arrangement" with has fell for me in some way. Like...always. lol. Even if they say they can handle it, deep down, I know they want more.

    Sometimes you just have to look out for other people's best interest, because they cannot do so for themselves.

    If you know you're not going to be into someone...just hold off on sex. It's JUST sex.
    That's been my experience, too.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Since you were crystal clear about the agreement and all the cards are on the table, this is her responsibility. Just make sure you don' catch feelings, if it's not what you are looking for.
    Originally Posted by 1tym
    When is it a good time to stop so perhaps she stops developing feelings if she ever does?

  7. #16
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    OP, yes she may want more, but then again, so might you, right ?

    I've read posts from men claiming this very thing - that they were the ones who wanted more, when in the beginning, they swore they never would.

    No one can predict what's down the road including how you will either.

  8. #17
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    Edit to my previous post:

    No one can predict what's down the road including how you will feel either.

    And IF she develops feelings of wanting more, she's a big girl, she will deal with it.

    You deal with yours if you find down the road you want more.

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