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Thread: Working on the relationship, went well, and now back to ground zero.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Central Canada
    I seriously don't know what happened in just a week...
    The realization that the relationship is not a lifetime one me thinks.

    So just recently my girlfriend and I have worked on our relationship since December
    How long have you two been dating? That ^^^ statement implies that the two of you have been having problems in general and for a while. Any truth to that? Perhaps there is more truth to the fact that you are not compatible and that the opinion from the coworker was based on what your g/f has been telling her/him rather than on your looks as you assumed?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    It sounds like a toxic verbally abusive relationship. Be glad you're out.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    You've been working on the relationship for 5 months. That sounds like a lot of work, with very little change. Sadly, I think that she stopped loving you 5 months ago, and has been spending the time since then hoping her feelings could be rekindled. They haven't. She wants out, but instead of just being honest, telling you she still doesn't love you, and breaking up, she presents you with these questions that are meant to show you that you shouldn't be together. To be potentially fair to her since we don't have her side of the story, it's possible she's been trying to tell you this in various for a while and you have been deflecting her or getting defensive until she changes the subject.

    Her line about not feeling "secure" talking to you and that you have an anger issue - maybe it's an anger issue, and maybe it's just that you always manage to steer conversation in a way where she doesn't feel heard or her opinion is clobbered by your opinion.

    There may not be anything wrong with you, and it's just that your conversation styles are incompatible so you never quite hear each other. So I would take the therapy suggestion with a grain of salt maybe? But therapy (if you get the right one) is usually not a bad thing. You might learn some things about yourself that you didn't realize.

    Ultimately it feels like she is just going to keep setting the bar for your relationship at a few levels above where you actually are, no matter what you try and do to fix things. If that's the case, trying to make things work is more trouble than it's worth.

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