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Thread: Why did my ex call me in his time of need?

  1. #1

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    Why did my ex call me in his time of need?

    I got a call from my ex boyfriend at 3 in the morning. He had a freak accident and called me as soon as it happened. His arm was shattered and he was in so much pain and all he wanted to do was talk to me while his friends drove him to the ER. The thing is we broke up about 4 months ago and he has a new girlfriend now. When he called me he was in another town 30 mins away with his friends and in the town his girlfriend lives in. Why didnít he call her? I did meet up with him and he asked me not to leave his side. Three hospitals and 12 hours later he was finally able to get surgery. His girlfriend ended up showing up to the hospital and out of respect I went into his room and I told him that I was going to leave and I hope he feels better. He asked why I was leaving and I told him so his girlfriend can be there with him. He said no that he wanted me to stay and that he wanted her to leave and he asked her to leave. Why is he doing this? Idk whatís going on! Someone please help?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    Good call to leave. If you really want to know, you should ask him. But you must ask yourself first, do you really want to know?

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by Karen25
    I got a call from my ex boyfriend at 3 in the morning. He had a freak accident and called me as soon as it happened. His arm was shattered and he was in so much pain and all he wanted to do was talk to me while his friends drove him to the ER. The thing is we broke up about 4 months ago and he has a new girlfriend now. When he called me he was in another town 30 mins away with his friends and in the town his girlfriend lives in. Why didnít he call her? I did meet up with him and he asked me not to leave his side. Three hospitals and 12 hours later he was finally able to get surgery. His girlfriend ended up showing up to the hospital and out of respect I went into his room and I told him that I was going to leave and I hope he feels better. He asked why I was leaving and I told him so his girlfriend can be there with him. He said no that he wanted me to stay and that he wanted her to leave and he asked her to leave. Why is he doing this? Idk whatís going on! Someone please help?
    I think maybe because he was in a very vulnerable state, possible shock and wanted the comfort of someone familiar and trustworthy who had seen him at his worst so to speak. There is absolutely no way I would want a new partner of 5 minutes crowding my space when I was in pain and looking a hot mess potentially crying, ew couldn't think of anything worse. Good call on leaving but idk why she turned up when he didn't want her there. Have you been in contact since the split or was this out of the blue? Maybe his brush with death made him realise what's important or maybe he was upset and being selfish by dragging you into this stressful situation to comfort himself? Hard to say.

  4. #4
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    I don't know how long you two were together or if you've kept in touch much since the break up or how it ended (etc.) but I also think he may have called out of familiarity. He probably knows you better and felt comforted in an emergency moment with someone he knows better. I imagine his new gf is still someone he's getting to know and maybe things haven't gotten that serious yet. If it was a freak accident and he was in shock he probably wasn't thinking as clearly and in the moment going off whatever emotions quickly ran through his head when it happened.

    It's good that you left out of respect for his gf whether he wanted you to or not. It was the right thing. Who knows.. maybe he wasnt on the best terms with his new gf at the moment? I'm just making guesses here.

    There's no real way of knowing unless you talk to him about it. I'd avoid reading too deep into it unless or until you do talk with him to figure out why he felt the need to have you with him during an emergency.

    I guess the other question is.. do you have any hopes or expectations that he did mean anything more out of it besides just wanting someone familiar to be there for him?

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    What a catch!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    If you have to ask, I think it's more troubling. Please don't look too much into it. Count the relationship over and don't look for signs that he's interested or that you should be interested. Good for you for showing up but even better for leaving. I would have done the same. I would more likely think of it as severe trauma and shock. Side step the aftermath and make yourself invisible for your own peace of mind. Let him move on with his life also. Don't think anything of it. I wouldn't send any well wishes or get well soon cards either. Just disappear.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    What a catch!
    My thoughts exactly...

    Im positive you want us to say "because he really loves you!" the situation couldnt be worded in a more obvious manner but the truth is, if he broke up with you, got a whole other girlfriend and is calling you again, hes not relationship material... you know the saying - fool me once...

  9. #8

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    We dated for the three year and we broke up because we kept bumming heads. We decided to stay friends and we have been in contact but just as friends. While he was in the hospital he kept telling me he as sorry and that he loved me.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Bumming heads?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
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    Has he said he was sorry and he loves you before the accident? Do you want to reconcile?
    Has he made an effort to get you back? These questions are relevant before really any of us can give you any more solid advice.

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