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Thread: Why did my ex call me in his time of need?

  1. #11

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    A couple of days before the accident he was telling me how much he missed me and how unhappy he was in his new relationship. It was a mutual breakup and we broke up knowing we still loved each other. I knew he was in a new relationship and I was happy for him. We’ve stayed friends since our break up and we’ve kept in touch.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Karen25
    A couple of days before the accident he was telling me how much he missed me and how unhappy he was in his new relationship. It was a mutual breakup and we broke up knowing we still loved each other. I knew he was in a new relationship and I was happy for him. We’ve stayed friends since our break up and we’ve kept in touch.
    This doesn’t sound like he was provoked into calling you just because he was hurt. Maybe he really is being genuine and still loves you. That doesn’t matter if nothing has changed about what broke you up. Fix that problem first...otherwise this will only be temporary.

  3. #13
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    Well, based on everything you mentioned, I for one, think he does still have feelings for you.

    The question is what do you want to do about it?

    He broke up with you -- so, he could be feeling nostalgic, or wanting what he doesn't have, or a "longing" of sorts, which is very different from actually loving. It could be any number of things.

    However, IF you got back together, assuming he even wants that which he may not, it's quite likely the same issues would raise their ugly heads again, so I would not recommend it.

    If me, I'd probably savor the thought he misses me, and just continue moving on.

  4. #14
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    Does his gf know that you communicate? How would you feel if you were in her shoes?

    You should not be communicating if he is expressing feelings for you. You should only talk if he wants to reconcile. Period.

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  6. #15

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    Yes she knows. He’s told her that he would always have feelings for me. I think it was our mistake letting go of a relationship before even trying to fix it. We took the easy way out. I was okay with him being with someone else but now I’m confused. It seemed like he really did care about her. So idk why he didn’t want her there with him

  7. #16
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    So what he needs to do is decide what he wants instead of thinking he gets to have two girlfriends.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    She's been in his life for five minutes, you'e been in his life over three years. The fact that you've remained friendly and in contact—well, it kind of makes sense that he'd reach out to you during a traumatic moment.

    For the time being, I'd think of it as that, and nothing more.

    Because, in a way, this incident has shown that things between you guys—and now you three—remains awfully murky. Whether there's a shot at reconciliation or not, you don't want it coming (a) while he's seeing someone and (b) from a moment where emotions are heightened.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So what he needs to do is decide what he wants instead of thinking he gets to have two girlfriends.
    Agree.

    Agree with blue as well.

    This isn’t romantic star crossed lovers... you’re two adults who apparently couldn’t get their stuff together enough to fix whatever was broken in your relationship and hung on with the door open. Now a third innocent person gets to be the third wheel, not cool. The both of you need to figure out where your heads are at. And if he wants reconciliation you don’t do it while you’re in a relationship so obviously he has some unfinished business to resolve. Don’t romanticize this though, be realistic, if neither of you fixed what was broken you’re both just gonna keep pushing and pulling one another, you especially need to start being honest if your motives, and yikes he told his girlfriend he will always have feelings for you?!?! I guess in a way it’s kinda on her for staying for the circus after that... either way... not cool...

  10. #19
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    When you are vulnerable and scared you let your inhibitions go the the wayside. It is you he trusts and feels secure with. Have you ever had a few drinks and instanrly you are a chatterbox inside of shy and talk to people you normally don't talk to or about Something on your mind that you have been keeping in? Same thing. But, once he is feeling back to normal he may revert to his old ways and not depend on you anymore. It is very nice you were there for him. What is it you want?

  11. #20
    Silver Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You visited him at the hospital which was very gracious of you. Now that it's over and he had the surgery, leave him alone because he has a girlfriend. It's unhealthy for you to maintain friendship after breaking up and now that he has a girlfriend. When he reaches out to you in the future, let him know that you've since moved on as should he. Remind him that his girlfriend is the one to call from now on; NOT you. It's time to go your separate ways.

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