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Thread: Gathering opinions

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2015

    Gathering opinions

    Advice please guys. I met this guy on a dating site first time Iíd ever tried online dating but I left the dating site after a day as it wasnít for me but I took his number and he became really good friend and we spoke of all sorts and text eachother 24/7 from 8am until 1am! He saw from my social media a lot of men used to comment on my posts and always told me it was concerning how many men would comment. I really didnít find him attractive to begin with but how similar we were and how weíd talk 12 hours a day made me feel close to him. We both agreed we connected so well and we were the same person. He had been single for six years as never met anyone he liked enough to commit to which was a massive shock for me , one night we spent 5 hours on the phone to eachother!!! . If i didnít reply to his texts he would send about 8 in a row until I did, once he rang me 30 times in a row but I oddly wasnít put off . I told him I am going to Ibiza with my friends and then he sent me a pic to show he booked the exact same flight and hotel with his friends which shocked me a bit but at the time i thought wow he must like me, my friends said that was crazy behaviour but I knew from all our chats he was alright! I was nervous to meet him because I thought what If he does not fancy me in person but after four months of talking we met up - after that it seemed it was a bit weird for a few days I donít know why . Then our texting went cold and when I asked why he some weird things like he knows I used to text men same time as him (I did at the beginning as meeting on a dating site assumed he did the same) and I should go meet other men and he will still be my mate. I was a bit upset and assumed he didnít fancy me. i did meet someone else for a drink on his advice , he quickly then came back onto me and messaged me throughout my drink with the other man. we both agreed to stop talking to other people until we had spent a weekend together , we then got back texting and calling loads and I mean 24/7. I met him a few weeks after again and spent weekend with him and slept with him . I thought it went well. After that weekend he said he could never trust me since I went on that date and he started having a go at me , i assumed he didnít like me romantically to act like this I was so upset- that day I went to tea with my mum and he rang me 40 times saying show me who your with send me a picture I was like no itís my mum and we got in a nasty fight .Day after that I went to a concert with my friends in London and he said he knew Iíd run off to London as Iím a sl*t a mess a tramp etc and he called me vile names rang me screaming at me SaÔd about me texting men and the drink I went on with that guy - we agreed to cut ties as he was vile I was in tears with his harsh words. Utterly shocked. The week after cutting ties he text me some small talk about when we both go Ibiza same time and I caved and told him how much I missed him etc he said he felt a massive hole in his day but then kinda enjoyed it and said itís a mature decision I donít follow him on social media as I wouldnít want to see it. That hurt me so much so I told him to just stop speaking to me and wished him the best. The Week after that he sent me a picture of a film we watched together, I ignored it, week after that he sent me a text message at 2am but then deleted it before I got to read it so I messaged him back asking what he had sent and he never replied and that was three weeks ago I havenít heard from him since . Iím devastated we spoke every second of the day itís a major loss and void I told him everything. My friends tell me his since back on dating sites which is tearing me in bits I just keep thinking of him with other women cus his back on the dating site. Any advice to get over this would be great!!!! It consumes my thoughts 24/7 and I am a busy girl but still!
    (Btw - Iíve since changed my flights to Ibiza to week after unbeknown to him he will still expect me to be out there same time in June) He is 8 years older than me . Iím 30 his 38.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Hi, could you please break this up into paragraphs? It's very hard to read as a wall of text, and I'm sure you'll get a lot more feedback if it's easier to read, thanks!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    OK I finally got through it.

    This is obviously toxic....you can see that, no?

    Texting/calling 24/7 is not healthy. No healthy person does that, and by "that", I mean you, too.

    You texted constantly for 4 months prior to meeting, and then you slept together right away, and then he demeaned you for having spoken to other guys, all the while, you two weren't exclusive; you weren't even in a relationship.

    And he books the same trip as you to Ibiza? Girlfriend, this is next level Lifetime movie channel stuff.

    Good that you changed your trip. Now, change your mind, and completely block/delete/do not respond, to this guy.

    Consider it a blessing that you haven't heard from him in 3 weeks, as that means he's moved on to another target. But you will hear from him, when he preys on someone healthy, and she blocks him, as he knows he can come back to you, because he'll believe that you'll cave and tell him how much you've missed him, and the "hole" he's left.

    Now, figure out what that "hole" is......I promise you, it has nothing to do with him.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Replied in your identical thread: [Register to see the link]


  6. #5
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    From your other thread...

    Please help me- is he a narcassist ? What now!
    The answer is, who cares? He showed you his true colors right from the beginning... that he was a controlling and insecure tyrant and when he doesn't get his way turns angry and abusive. Run away, far away from this!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Why do you keep on posting the same thread, over and over-the third time you have posted this?

    We have all advised you to stay away from him, and that he is an abusive POS! What are you not getting!
    Last edited by Hollyj; 05-16-2019 at 01:30 PM.

  8. #7
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Originally Posted by Ammy7758
    my friends said that was crazy behaviour
    - your friends were right. He's crazy.

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