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Thread: Shes sabotaging my job update

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    8,552
    This woman is a hot mess, and has never taken you seriously, OP. She doesn't love you and quite clearly only turned to you when she was off again with her kids' dad. She was wrong to jerk you around and take advantage of your low self-esteem and enabling tendencies towards her.

    However, you need to take some serious accountability here too. You inserted yourself into her and her kids' lives where you had no business being. I cannot fathom why you'd take it upon yourself to have her daughter's child care debited to your account, but it does speak to your lack of boundaries and poor self-respect. That wasn't a noble move - it was a desperate on. It is also crappy thing to use a child as a pawn in your bid to win her attention, because let's get real, that's what you did. I don't buy for a moment you had purely altruistic motives there. The same goes for dropping off a gift for her child. There are so many things wrong with your behaviour with regards to the children; one doesn't need to directly harm a child to be considered inappropriately involved with a child's life.

    The level of detail you go into in your opening post is also very telling. Scrawling out the minutiae and exact dates and details of events that happened stretching back that far suggests a level of obsession that is quite troubling. It reads like a journal and I have to wonder if you did indeed keep a very detailed record of all your interactions with this woman, noting even the most irrelevant of details like which building you chatted in and which date she said what over the phone and who the manager on duty was. There is so much more being said here than simply an account of a failed relationship.

    What do you do now? Never have any contact with her again. Ever. Get yourself some much-needed professional help in learning healthy relationship skills and coping mechanisms.

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    19
    I should probably clarify, the reason this post is so detailed is because after the police incident I wrote it out as an accurate account of every interaction in case something else happened.

    All your comments are valuable in helping in the troubling time and I thank you for those who have made their points constructive. I know i was a mug to allow her to treat me this way and take advantage over the fact I felt so strongly for her and her children.

    I will reflect on your views and just focus on myself

  3. #23
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    476
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    Male
    Yes OP this is exactly what you need to do. I hope you can get the help you need really i do. If you can't set boundaries this will happen time and time again.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    20,066
    Get some therapy.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,716
    She wasnít in your corner when she let your things get thrown out. She hasnít been in your corner since. It is worth asking why you long for someone who doesnít have your back? Do you not deserve reciprocity?

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