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Thread: Can I get the girl back? Part 2

  1. #1
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    Can I get the girl back? Part 2

    Hello everyone

    Nearly 2 months ago I posted a thread describing what transpired between my ex girlfriend and myself and if there was any chance, I could get her back. In short, I had a really rough period, and my ex was really stressed out about her study. She broke up with me 2 times over a couple of months telling me that she lost her feelings for me, needed me more as a friend and needed to figure out her stuff. So we are no longer together, and she moves out in the beginning of june.

    Well, over the last month there has been a rather small turn in events, which I would be extremely glad to here your thoughts and advices on. It started out slow with me testing the waters. But slowly we have started to hug each other, hold hands and even cuddle - not all the time, but it happens on a regular basis. I'd say I do it the most, but she does it too nevertheless. There has even been a few times where we ended up kissing and you know... I've talked to her about it, and she isn't quite sure, what she wants. Sometimes she has feelings for me and sometimes she needs space. We have agreed that we take no more than each day by day and see what happens. She has assured to me though that she isn't just doing this to make it easier untill she moves out, nor is she looking for someone else, and I trust her word.

    We also discussed what went wrong, which I wasn't 100% sure about until the talk. The whole thing seems a bit blurry to me, which just indicates, how stressed I have been. But nevertheless she thought that I had changed over the last months making us too different from each other - I told her that of course I changed, because I was feeling really down at the time. Now I am a lot better actually and have started to almost regain myself fully - this of course I try to show her. She also pointed out that(especially with everything there was going on) we grew tired of each other - this has led me to think that we for certain moved together way way to soon. Do note my ex turns 23 this summer, and I am 26. I just never saw this as a problem, and I have allways been more certain about what I wanted in life. As she mentioned a couple of times she has never lived alone and wants to discover herself.

    But all in all the mood between us is really great, which she agrees on. So great that it feels so weird that we are not together, to me at least. So dear community, I once again ask for your opinion on this whole situation. I am in no way trying to rush anything, because I know that would only work in another universe. I just know in my heart what I want her in my life again, and I would do anything to make that happen. Any help is deeply appreciated.
    Last edited by Jimraynorp; 05-16-2019 at 07:52 AM.

  2. #2
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    It's still over for me. SHe knows you want to get back togehter and those small moments of comfort are for her, not you. Shes just happy to take comfort when yuo offer it. Shes not giving anything you want back in return.

    The age gap is irrelevant. FOrget that.

    The mood is great and shes still not interested, sadly, that tells you all you need to know. Things will start to get better for you when she moves out in June. You will be able to finally cease all contact and get on with your life without her in it.

    Good luck, you are young and in a few months will be fine.

  3. #3
    Member EclipseCross's Avatar
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    It's really good that you know what you want in life and even better if you won't ever forget about what you want.
    Don't think too much about those hugs, cuddles and other stuff. It often happens after the breakup because you know... it's comfortable, it's habit, it's safe.
    Just let her go, if you're destined to be together it will happen.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member thekid55's Avatar
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    Search for posts by 'RobD70'. All of your answers are embedded in his responses.

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  6. #5
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    Thank you all for your responses! But what do you guys think, should I put an end to this behavior? As I see it, it might be a chance to start things up again, which I wouldn't miss for anything. As she said, maybe we end up together again, and maybe we don't. What if I told her that I only want this, if there for her point of view truly is feelings involved? I just don't know.

  7. #6
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    That answer she gave you means nothing. She just doesnt want to lose your company/friendship but theres nothing that can be done about that.

    I would block and move on once she has left. She MAY come back at a later point but even thats not guaranteed so id get on with life.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The fact that she is solid about moving out is a huge step away from the relationship. Get to a doctor for a check and referral to therapy. Get to the root of your inertia. Hopefully they can rule out or treat depression or other conditions that have led to this lack of involvement in life, your career, and life in general. A cordial hug or two is not going to fix all this.
    Originally Posted by Jimraynorp
    she moves out in the beginning of june.


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