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Thread: We had a confrontation without saying words

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2019

    We had a confrontation without saying words

    It’s been almost three weeks since we broke up. Being so overwhelmed with all the emotions, I decided to take a break and spend a week of rest in my hometown. I left the city on Saturday. It was a 3-hour drive to my hometown. I called up my high school girlfriends to meet me Sunday. I picked the time, I asked them to pick the place.

    I arrived at the place an hour earlier than the agreed time. I thought, why not enjoy a little me time.
    About noon time, my friends arrived. In the middle of our conversation I spotted a familiar across the garden. I saw my ex. With his new girl. And her mom and brother and a little kid with them. (Btw he was wearing that shirt I bought him for his birthday.)
    I didn’t know what to feel or how to react then.
    I stared at him. His face, I don’t know how to put it in words but he looked stressed out. His eyes looked tired from days of not have enough sleep, his skin not glowing like it used to be. Something was off, my guts told me.

    I know he would see me with my friends. I just stared at him from where we were seated. He glanced our way and that’s when I knew he saw me. How? He took a second look, this time, longer. He stared at me. Then looked down, and his face suddenly had a change of expression. Was he happy to see me? Was he bothered to see me? Was he annoyed?

    I couldn’t help but observe. Body language told me he’s not happy. His face tells me he’s stressed out.

    My friends and I stayed there for about half an hour more and then we left the place to have coffee somewhere else. I went home, and that night I got a text message from a familiar number.

    “Fancy seeing you there. Of all the places.”
    I replied: “Well it’s my hometown I’d definitely be here occasionally.”

    I couldn’t help it, I told him: “We needed closure, you know?” But he said, “No we don’t.” I could never have been more disappointed at him.

    To cut our conversation short, I told him: “Be happy then. I am happy now. Just be happy.” Then deleted the thread. A few minutes later messages started flooding my phone. One explanation after another. How they ended up going there. Why they decided to visit my city. Who were with them. How they met. Things like that. I was surprised because I wasn’t asking him to explain. And then it occurred to me, he felt guilty.

    He wasn’t ready to see me that’s why he has been ignoring my texts and calls and chats. He didn’t want confrontation. He doesn’t want to face our reality. Instead he jumped right into dating at the time I was feeling miserable and broken. But he saw me that Sunday afternoon. He saw me happy with my friends. And I saw him while he was looking miserable. That was his karma. Seeing me in a place he least expected. And no, he couldn’t run away from it. It just happened. And he was guilty. Because I saw him with his new girl, and it became clear that all the accusations he threw at me were all his own doings.

    I didn’t reply to any of his messages. Instead, I blocked his number from my phone. Deleted him from my social media accounts and blocked him.

    I slept soundly that night.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    “Body language told me he’s not happy. His face tells me he’s stressed out”

    He wasn’t happy in that particular moment maybe?
    Because whoever is when on a nice day out with new girl, family and suddenly the ex is there. Regardless of the coincidence.

    He texted out of guilt but not because he regrets splitting up , after all you were with him to cook and clean for him (your choice, not his request) , on the rebound he welcomed you being his “maid” . Why did you do that?

    He has finally moved on from his last relationship with your help.
    In future stop being that rebound person !!!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Sorry to hear this. How long were you dating? What was the breakup about? It would be best to avoid him when possible, delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging apps and social media. Closure is the breakup. There is no need for further confrontation because whatever led to and was stated during the the breakup is final, the end, closure. Don't torture yourself and drag this out. Keep reconnecting with your friends and family and focus on yourself your interests and broadening your horizons with your new freedom.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Originally Posted by Billie28
    “Body language told me he’s not happy. His face tells me he’s stressed out”

    He wasn’t happy in that particular moment maybe?
    Because whoever is when on a nice day out with new girl, family and suddenly the ex is there. Regardless of the coincidence.
    Agree. You are projecting. Instead of analysing face expressions of your ex, ask yourself "Why do you need to see him unhappy?" And go on from there. Focus on yourself.
    That said, it is indeed unfortunate, what you're going through and I'm so sorry! Going through a break up myself, they can be bad. Take care of yourself! You matter!


  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Central Canada
    May I respectfully ask why you needed to start a thread to explain to us the following:

    You saw an ex, with no evidence you assume he is stressed or unhappy.

    You were disappointed when he didn't agree to your assertion that there should be some sort of "closure."

    You slept soundly.

    *shrugs* I'm confused as to the need to tell us any of that? Did you want advice on something you are feeling about the situation? If you just want to vent then maybe the Journal subforum would do you better?

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