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Thread: Confused and angry

  1. #1
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    Confused and angry

    Hi Guys,

    I've been seeing this girl for 6 weeks now and everything went pretty very well until yesterday. She has like a huge crush on me, its just hearts and kisses when we message each other and we also when on 2 dates. 2 Days ago she stared to distance herself from me and yesterday I have send her a very important voice note. It's 24 hours later and she did not listen to the voice note or talk to me on whattsapp.

    I decided that I'm not going to send her a message asking why she doesn't reply or listen to my voice note because why should I speak to someone who doesn't want to speak to me and I also don't want to look desperate and needy.

    I just want to know am I doing the right thing and what the hell is going on in her head, maybe she is playing games.

  2. #2
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    Did you two typically talk every day and often before? Do you know if she's been busy lately with anything? Also, I'm not too familiar with WhatsApp but is there a way to see if she's even opened your message yet? Maybe I'd first just rule out the possibility that maybe she just got caught up with life stuff and just hasn't had the time yet to look or respond.

    If all of that seems unlikely then maybe you could casually say that she's seemed a little quiet lately and you just wanted to check to see if she was doing alright and see if she says anything. I don't think that would be unreasonable to ask casually like that of you two used to talk a lot before and have been dating for 6 weeks. If she doesn't respond or if she does and gives you an explanation.. either way just don't continue to press her on it. Can't always live in fear of looking desperate or clingy or whatever. If you genuinely want to know something you gotta speak up but of course be reasonable.

  3. #3
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    Yes we do speak everyday. Whatsapp shows when you are online and she was online a few times. Yesterday she said that she can't listen to my voice note now and that she will listen to it later. It is 24 hour later now and she didn't listen to it and she was online a few time. I want to ask her is she is okay but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by stu11
    Yes we do speak everyday. Whatsapp shows when you are online and she was online a few times. Yesterday she said that she can't listen to my voice note now and that she will listen to it later. It is 24 hour later now and she didn't listen to it and she was online a few time. I want to ask her is she is okay but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do.
    You have ONLY been on 2 dates and you sent her an “important” voice note???

    What is that important that doesn’t require a phone call? It’s clearly NOT that important.
    And why would she think it was? I wouldn’t!

    You are not in a relationship with her. She likely has dated others in the past 6 weeks.
    And that’s ok!!!
    Why are you angry??? Perhaps that’s why she has distanced herself!?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    You have ONLY been on 2 dates and you sent her an “important” voice note???

    What is that important that doesn’t require a phone call? It’s clearly NOT that important.
    And why would she think it was? I wouldn’t!

    You are not in a relationship with her. She likely has dated others in the past 6 weeks.
    And that’s ok!!!
    Why are you angry??? Perhaps that’s why she has distanced herself!?
    Same. If that was so important why didn't you call her instead of sending a voice note and wait for her reply? And what can be so important 6 weeks in? If that voice note is that important than call her and say whatever you have to say. She said she would listen to it later. Chill. You're over investing 2 dates in too much too soon, hence all this anger and anxiety.

  7. #6
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    I do not recommend you send a needy insecure "are we ok???" message. Talk about an attraction killer!

    People get busy. Don't jump straight into disaster mode just because she didn't listen to your message right away.

    Six weeks. No need for stressing out after two dates.

  8. #7
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    Yes, and no. It's probably too early to make an informed decision. Give her some more time. If you never hear from her again, the message is clear. If you do, she will offer an excuse or a reason. It will be up to you to try and determine which it is. Sometimes people get distracted, or other priorities pop up. Determining what is a valid reason, and what is an excuse is more of an art than a science.

    At the end of the day, sometimes people seem really into us, then they change their mind suddenly. It's just one of those nasty facts of dating. Have real expectations and the disappointments won't be so harsh.

    I would caution against anger. There is no good outcome when you approach these issues with anger. Disappointment is unavoidable, but anger is a waste of valuable time.

  9. #8
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    Fair enough I get your point and I do agree with you to some extend. The only thing that bugs me is the fact that she has time to put up posts on social media every hour and she is always online but she doesn't have 30 seconds to listen to my voice note. If she messages me and I don't reply in 5 min, she s herself, just saying. She talks to everyone on whatsapp but ignores me.

  10. #9
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    Fair enough I get your point and I do agree with you to some extend. The only thing that bugs me is the fact that she has time to put up posts on social media every hour and she is always online but she doesn't have 30 seconds to listen to my voice note. If she messages me and I don't reply in 5 min, she sh*ts herself, just saying. She talks to everyone on whatsapp but ignores me. Its a day and a half later and she still didn't listen to the voice note.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Maybe you both are? Relax and if you want to continue dating her text. What was so important about the VM? Did she need to get back to you asap on that?
    Originally Posted by stu11
    maybe she is playing games.

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