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Thread: Update: How it turned out, OLD/LDR pt. 2

  1. #1
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    Update: How it turned out, OLD/LDR pt. 2

    Okay, wow!

    So on the heels of everything from yesterday I did some pushing and asked some questions.

    The topic of divorce came up, I told him my thoughts on it.

    He asked if I ever throught there were grounds for divorce. I do, I explained them. I was thinking maybe his parents were or something. We are both “single never married” on the site.

    Then I said, why do you ask?

    He went on with this long Saga about how he married this girl to allow her to access his health insurance (they were going to marry eventually but bumped up the date by 6 months), her health condition allegedly prevented any sort of intimate relationship, and then weeks later he learned that while he was waiting for the doctor’s okay for hankypanky, she was cheating on him with another guy.

    Yeah, what a doozy!

    I said, well then you’d get an annulment if you hadn’t consummated the marriage. He said that wasn’t possible due to corruption in the legal system there.

    I googled how to get an annulment there and said “yeah, actually the Roman Catholic Church is the faculty that grants this based on a tribunal hearing the case. You would probably have had a very solid case if that were all true”

    He said that wasn’t possible, they had only the option of getting a divorce and she got half his stuff. She was a gold digger, yada yada. And she ran off with the other guy within two months of their wedding.

    It sounds like an episode of Days of our lives or some soap opera!

    I just told him that even if all that checked out, my main problem is current time where there is a blatant lie in your profile. That is a massive red flag. You were intentionally dishonest.

    I believe that If someone is deceitful, you never know where or if that ends. I cannot trust you. Thanks for the honesty when I asked a direct question but this is where it ends.

    I don’t imagine I’ll hear from him again.

    Thought I’d update you that would be curious , let’s not go over board with the I told you so’s!

    I actually feel really relieved. So I’m alright 👌🏻

  2. #2
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    Yikes! I’m glad you found all this out so you can move forward.

    Hugs

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this happened but fortunate you never met and cut your losses. The best part of this is a lesson learned about "99.5 % sure he's not married".
    [Register to see the link]

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    He’s still not currently married, he is divorced (allegedly!) I will trust nothing this guy says. And obviously took measures to lie about that fact.

    Haha! Yes, 99.5%

    Obviously I’m of the opinion if you’d lie about that, what else would you lie about? That’s the only thing I’m 100% sure on.

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  6. #5
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    He lied to get what he wanted. That's never a good look for anyone.

  7. #6
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    Good for you for unraveling this guy's web of lies, and for calling him on it. But most importantly, for moving on.

    Know this: You will continue to see him online, and you will continue to see what you know to be are lies. Ignore them and move on. He's someone else's problem now.

  8. #7
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    My friend's ex husband both lied about his age (shaved off TEN years!) and lied about wanting more children on his dating profile. His excuse? "If I put my real age and not wanting any more kids on there, none of the really young women will want to date me."

    Like, seriously?

    He ended up marrying one of the young women. I sometimes wonder if she ever found out his true age and how he'll handle it when she wants to start trying for a baby. He's an idiot.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Good for you for unraveling this guy's web of lies, and for calling him on it. But most importantly, for moving on.

    Know this: You will continue to see him online, and you will continue to see what you know to be are lies. Ignore them and move on. He's someone else's problem now.
    Thanks, I actually unfollowed them so that I wouldn’t see the things described!

    Yep, I’m moving on. And I’m going back to my standard max distance.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by FirstDates

    I googled how to get an annulment there and said “yeah, actually the Roman Catholic Church is the faculty that grants this based on a tribunal hearing the case. You would probably have had a very solid case if that were all true”

    He said that wasn’t possible, they had only the option of getting a divorce and she got half his stuff. She was a gold digger, yada yada. And she ran off with the other guy within two months of their wedding.
    Did he actually tell you he was divorced? I didn't read where he said he was.

    Only, per above quote, annulment was impossible, divorce was only option, and would mean she gets half his stuff.

    Which he no doubt was not inclined to give her. Assuming this soap opera of a story is even true!

    Anyway, you are 100% right to not trust him, the guy's still married, which is why he could not schedule the phone call (your previous thread) and why he contacts women thousands of miles away.

    Lesson learned! Hopefully.

    When a man from a "dating" site who lives hundreds/thousands of miles away contacts you, take a pass.

    Nothing positive, or very rarely, can come from that imo.

    Stick with local, and up your "game" (so to speak) taking the advice of abitbroken on your previous thread, for starters.

    Sorry, long distance guy didn't work out, bullet successfully dodged.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 05-18-2019 at 12:41 PM.

  11. #10
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    I agree with LH.

    And while I’m glad you got to the bottom of all this. I feel I wouldn’t be giving you useful advice if I didn’t say you SERIOUSLY need to explore your own commitment fears.

    The fact that you even gave a guy, who isn’t even in the US the time of day...it’s kinda like well duh this happened...Don't get me wrong I know of people who have met and married and are now American expats but that was well before the invention of online dating... it’s just way too easy to find love locally that stuff like this being real and genuine is just way too rare to be worth the emotional risk, you had zero connection to him beyond some words on a screen and you put a ton of emotional energy into it, that’s seriously something not to be ignored.

    I’m sure you will come up with a dozen excuses like your last post and it’s your prerogative but you will keep doing this if you don’t change what you’re doing. You’re making yourself a target when you don’t have to...

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