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Thread: Was I ungrateful?

  1. #1

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    Was I ungrateful?

    Okay, so my girlfriend and I were buying weed. There is a feature on Facebook messenger which allows you to send friends money similar to Venmo. She sends me her portion and for the first time ever I ask her if she can spot me for my portion. She sees my message but decides to send the money the following day in the afternoon.

    This made me want to ask her “Hey, did you have to think twice before lending me money? Lol”. The reason I asked her this question was because I was feeling resentful since I’ve spent hundreds on weed and other things on her. Well she immediately replies, “you’re ungrateful & need to apologize.” So I sent her the money back and told her to forget about it, but she still wanted an apology. I was reluctant to apologize b/c her apologies were always insincere. They would go like “fine, whatever I’m sorry” and when I called her out for not being genuine she would reply by saying “I was ungrateful for not accepting her apology.”

    For two weeks straight she wouldn’t want to talk to me or see me unless I apologized. She finally gave me an ultimatum, “Apologize or bounce” which got me upset and provoked me to block her for 5 days. I unblocked and just apologized, but by then she was over it and done with the relationship.

    We dated for a year & a half

    Should I have just apologized? Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    How immature of both of you, you both sound like you are 12. Why was it such an issue that she sent money on your behalf the next day? You got the money, so where's the problem?

    Badgering and demanding apologies on her part seems over the top. Maybe you lucked out and she's gone from your life. Perhaps you dodged a bullet.

  3. #3
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    You both sound like big babies.

  4. #4
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    How do you know though why she took longer to send the money? It could be because she accidentally forgot, was busy, could be anything? I actually think that unless you're paying for things just because you're really generous and want to spoil your partner, then you should not be paying. Does she ask you a lot to pay for her or do you offer? Thing is when we pay for our partner and it's us that offered, then it's not really meant to be a "tot for tat" kind of thing. Like, I love giving presents, it's my love language. I give my friends presents and cards for different occasions, but sometimes give even for no reason. I just really enjoy it. But I don't expect them to give me anything in return. I'm 34 so you don't really give Birthday presents, etc. at this age. So I just do it because I like to. But in any case, she paid for you and she only took one day to pay so what is the actual problem?

    I think the whole thing that escalated from this is extremely immature and over the top. After 1.5 years if she's going to break up like this then good riddance to her. But you didn't behave that great either by blocking, etc. I mean, you guys were in a relationship, you don't treat your partner like this! That goes for both of you.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    How old are you two? Because my shock for this whole immaturity displayed by both of you and opinion will vary a lot according to the ages.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What a waste of time to argue, no less break up, over this. She dumped you because you blocked her.
    Originally Posted by Amhauel
    I’ve spent hundreds on weed.


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