Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 4 of 8 FirstFirst 1234567 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 78

Thread: Advice needed for potential relationship with marriage in mind.

  1. #31
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    19
    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    Move to NY! 40 for a man is very typical of someone getting married and having kids.

    I'm Chinese and know well over 1000 chinese people who came here in their late teens to late 20's and are awesome. Not sure where in the US you are, but so many Asian (Chinese) ladies in Cali and NY.
    unfortunately i am bit far from NY... I did meet some chinese women from ny but they want to stay there and dont want to do long distance dating. And I am not in position to just quit my job and move to NY..

  2. #32
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,366
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by lioil
    unfortunately i am bit far from NY... I did meet some chinese women from ny but they want to stay there and dont want to do long distance dating. And I am not in position to just quit my job and move to NY..
    I feel like it would be more cost efficient and less of a hassle to visit someone from this country than overseas. Have you tried to look into meeting someone from here, with the same goals in mind (marriage and family as soon as possible) instead of another country. You know, finding a matchmaker and going that route?

  3. #33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    19,719
    Originally Posted by yatsue
    Yes, insulting the person asking for advice is not constructive criticism, by implying he wasn't a gentleman. He has a reason for being hesitant to visit, which was explained. He just can't relatively soon. I agree he should definitely visit her.
    Whatever.....

  4. #34
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    19,719
    Originally Posted by lioil
    unfortunately i am bit far from NY... I did meet some chinese women from ny but they want to stay there and dont want to do long distance dating. And I am not in position to just quit my job and move to NY..
    Don't you think it would be much easier to find a Chinese woman within The States, instead of having to go international. There are many eligible and amazing Chinese women in your own country. I don't get it!

  5.  

  6. #35
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,413
    Gender
    Female
    I know many people do the "mail order bride" thing but I just want to ask, are you absolutely sure this is your last resort? You really can't find anyone at least in your own country from avenues like online dating, Meetup groups, community groups from your own culture? Have you spoken to this Chinese woman on Skype and actually "seen" her in real life? I don't think you should go over there or she come to the US unless you've seen each other on Skype and you also feel at ease with her and have a click with her. And find her attractive of course. I think as a male who is not that old yet and perfectly biologically able to have kids, I don't think you should be getting too desperate yet. Are you being pushed by that woman to meet and start dating? It's true, her biological clock is ticking but you don't need to just settle for her only for that reason. This is YOUR life, your future. Wouldn't you rather spend it with the right person?

  7. #36
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    19
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Don't you think it would be much easier to find a Chinese woman within The States, instead of having to go international. There are many eligible and amazing Chinese women in your own country. I don't get it!
    Well, i dont know? people have different selection criteria and since ignoring message doesnt tell me anything it is hard to figure out. I had some luck but very low. Like last girl she believes in god and found out i wasnt ghosted me. The one before wanted to marry < 1year and i felt too quick. One before that kept insisting using a webtool to chat and replies to me once a day... impossible to setup anything. Another one thought her family background was not good enough. One before that i had good vibe until i asked her about her heart problem she brought up and she ghosted me. Another wanted me to buy her a Chanel bag i said we are not even in relationship yet then she said i dont love her. Another one she was too old (36) and my parents said no .


    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    I know many people do the "mail order bride" thing but I just want to ask, are you absolutely sure this is your last resort? You really can't find anyone at least in your own country from avenues like online dating, Meetup groups, community groups from your own culture? Have you spoken to this Chinese woman on Skype and actually "seen" her in real life? I don't think you should go over there or she come to the US unless you've seen each other on Skype and you also feel at ease with her and have a click with her. And find her attractive of course. I think as a male who is not that old yet and perfectly biologically able to have kids, I don't think you should be getting too desperate yet. Are you being pushed by that woman to meet and start dating? It's true, her biological clock is ticking but you don't need to just settle for her only for that reason. This is YOUR life, your future. Wouldn't you rather spend it with the right person?

    I dont know if this through friend is considered "mail order bride" though? if locally your best friend introduces a girl/guy to you is that considered legit? Sure there will be more time to get to know eachother and the language thing but other than that i dont see a huge difference.

    I do try different online stuff and tried matchmaker too but i haven't found anyone yet. I will be 38 and it is true my biological clock is still OK but it will be harder to find women with better biological clocks like 28-32ish. I mean a lot of the sites i look at women filter out guys who are 3-4 years older than them. I dont think i am being rushed by anyone but the mutual friend did say to let her know status of discussion sooner than later so it is good for everyone. They are kind of pushing me to visit there but i dont see that happening at least 2 months out. I might go there and visit her and couple others if there are.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,366
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by lioil
    The one before wanted to marry < 1year and i felt too quick.
    So wait, you did find someone that wanted to get married quickly, but you thought it was too quick? Don't you want to send for a bride with the intention of getting married quickly? I don't get it. I think you're leaving out stuff.

  9. #38
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    19
    Originally Posted by WithLove
    So wait, you did find someone that wanted to get married quickly, but you thought it was too quick? Don't you want to send for a bride with the intention of getting married quickly? I don't get it. I think you're leaving out stuff.
    well she is a student and i think she wanted a green card hence getting married before she graduates. Plus she kept talking about investing in business how she wants a business partner in addition to friend and mate. We met few more times but didn't feel any connection. But she is different from this one since she was a total stranger, at least this one i have some info from the mutual friend and I wont be scammed or anything.

    I am also trying to talk to couple locally but one kept putting me off with "busy with work". I talked to her sister (she "screened" me) but it seems she didnt feel like it.

  10. #39
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,366
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by lioil
    well she is a student and i think she wanted a green card hence getting married before she graduates. Plus she kept talking about investing in business how she wants a business partner in addition to friend and mate. We met few more times but didn't feel any connection. But she is different from this one since she was a total stranger, at least this one i have some info from the mutual friend and I wont be scammed or anything.

    I am also trying to talk to couple locally but one kept putting me off with "busy with work". I talked to her sister (she "screened" me) but it seems she didnt feel like it.
    Ah okay, that makes more sense.

    I don't know, it seems like you're sticking with this idea because you know someone that can vouch that the lady isn't simply out to get a visa or green card. I can understand that. But can this same woman, the "matchmaker", assist you in finding a girl in the US instead? That still seems like it'd be a lot easier.

  11. #40
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Area 51-A
    Posts
    38
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by lioil
    If our first meeting dont go well then that's that.
    Thing is though, your first meeting likely will go very well. You'll be new, fresh faces, in "vacation mode," doing fun stuff. This will give you little to no insight on your actual long term compatibility.

Page 4 of 8 FirstFirst 1234567 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •