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Thread: Considering Giving up on Uni

  1. #11
    Silver Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Get the degree. You'll regret it as you age and still didn't get the degree. How old will you be without the degree? You'll be the same age with or without the degree. Get the degree, enjoy a higher income in the future and prosper.

    No pain no gain.

  2. #12
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    You didnít come this far to give up now. It may be hard at the moment, but keep your eye on the prize, your degree.

    And as much of a pain in the ars* it is now, itís temporary...very temporary. The regret and guilt you would feel by not completing your degree will hurt more than what youíre feeling at the moment.

    Iíve found myself in pretty stressful work/school situations, and although I had my moments of wanting to bail, I knew Iíd regret it in the long run if I did, and was always proud of myself when I stuck through it.

    You can do this, OP. Youíre practically at the finish line!

  3. #13
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    Also, just wanted to add that some of my biggest and proudest achievements were following some of the more stressful times in my life. Did I want to bail at times? Absolutely. But I knew Iíd regret it. At the same time, I knew that once I got through the stressful times, they would be some of the biggest accomplishments of my life.

    Life definitely has itís stressful moments, but itís these experiences that have helped me build character, strength, and confidence (although it may not feel this way AS Iím experiencing extreme stress and itís difficult to see the positive when Iím stressed to the max). Easier said than done, I know. Plus, with every new stressful experience, I find I learn something new (I.e. - about myself, life in general, etc.). Sometimes all I can do when going through something like this is to tell myself not to overthink things and to just keep moving (and this is sometimes after getting a pep talk from family & friends, which we all need from time to time).

    I have a feeling youíre going to reflect back on all of this and be thankful that you kept going (despite how gruelling it was!).

    You got this!

  4. #14
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    It's typical finish line fatigue, and I went through it during the end of both my bachelor's and master's.

    Don't allow a temper tantrum to rob you of everything for which you've worked so hard.

    My method was not very orthodox, but it worked for me: I bribed myself into my sessions of study, completing assignments and writing my thesis with a nice icy screwdriver or a rum and coke. It helped me to loosen up and write past the dreaded blank page. Key was to go 'bLAt!' on the pages and type my heart out--then I'd print the thing and leave it for edits the next day while stone sober. But AFTER my final edits I'd go shop for shoes. Or a purse. Or whatever.

    Nobody else can get us through this finish line but ourselves, and we can choose to make it more difficult by indulging drama about it, or less difficult by skipping the drama and going straight for our own private reward system.

    Head high, dry the tears, and put your big girl pants on. You'll thank yourself later--and forever more.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    It's typical finish line fatigue, and I went through it during the end of both my bachelor's and master's.

    Don't allow a temper tantrum to rob you of everything for which you've worked so hard.

    My method was not very orthodox, but it worked for me: I bribed myself into my sessions of study, completing assignments and writing my thesis with a nice icy screwdriver or a rum and coke. It helped me to loosen up and write past the dreaded blank page. Key was to go 'bLAt!' on the pages and type my heart out--then I'd print the thing and leave it for edits the next day while stone sober. But AFTER my final edits I'd go shop for shoes. Or a purse. Or whatever.

    Nobody else can get us through this finish line but ourselves, and we can choose to make it more difficult by indulging drama about it, or less difficult by skipping the drama and going straight for our own private reward system.

    Head high, dry the tears, and put your big girl pants on. You'll thank yourself later--and forever more.
    LOL on alcohol and yes to the rest!! And please do the dance mix "tape" I mentioned. It's not a screwdriver but it helps.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    LOL on alcohol and yes to the rest!! And please do the dance mix "tape" I mentioned. It's not a screwdriver but it helps.
    Yep, the idea is to loosen yourself up to nix the underlying fear of failure. That's the paralysis--so decide what you want to do to address that. You can either work yourself into a deeper hole to climb out of, or you can talk yourself into WANTING THE RESULTS of FINISHING your work.

    This isn't something being imposed on you by someone else, so your temper tantrum is self imposed, self suffered, and self defeating. It's not something that's 'happening TO you,' YOU are the one who's choosing the difficulty.

    So make a better choice. Instead of telling yourself that you don't want to do this, tell yourself, "I've got this." Or, "I may not be thrilled, but I'm giving it my best shot..." and then you're opting not to blow yourself out of the water with impacts on your whole future just because you have some temporary discomfort and would rather be doing something else at this time.

    Get clear about the word 'temporary,' and have an adult talk with your child Self. Coax yourself into clarity that you aren't rebelling against anyone else, because nobody else will suffer the consequences of your attitude but you--so change your attitude into one that works in your favor instead of against yourself.

    This degree will mean more to you because you've overcome this resistance than it otherwise would, but YOU are in control of your own resistance, nobody else. If you won't think and behave in ways that serve you now, you're teaching yourself that you "can't" do stuff you don't like rather than the more accurate word, which is "won't". And you know the difference--you're just pretending not to. So get clear with yourself and tell yourself that you are on your OWN side. Then behave that way, and make yourself proud.

    Head high, you can do this.

  8. #17
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    My husband used to suffer from failure anxiety so bad he would guarantee his failure by not finishing. Maybe it is failure fear?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    The stress you're feeling, it's natural, and it's also temporary. The disappointment you'll feel if you don't finish, that will last a lot longer.

    Please continue. You're so close. You can do this!

  10. #19
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    My husband used to suffer from failure anxiety so bad he would guarantee his failure by not finishing. Maybe it is failure fear?
    That's exactly the thing. It's better to do your best even to just 'limp by' than to ensure your own failure with resistance to even trying.

    One trick I'd use is a free Treepad app that allowed me to type up an outline of the material I'm studying. I'd start with just the headings, then I'd read through, highlight or underline some stuff and later, type that into my outline. This helped me organize the material in a way that made sense to me.

    I was a tech writer, so I'd pretend that I'm preparing a summary document for someone who was unfamiliar with the material. This taught me the material even while I felt like I was creating something with it. My notes helped me study for exams -OR- they gave me key material that I might quote in a paper later.

    No learning is ever wasted when you use it to learn how to learn.

  11. #20
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    Stop self sabotaging. Suck it up and celebrate after.chi

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