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Thread: Reconnecting and resurfacing feelings

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    Miami, FL
    Posts
    2
    Gender
    Male

    Reconnecting and resurfacing feelings

    Hey all,

    I'm new to the forum so I'm getting my feet wet but I just want to run this by people because I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this.

    A few years ago I had a strong feelings for one of my close friends. We would talk constantly and be affectionate like hold hands and cuddle and stuff so people thought we were dating. It didn't take very long for me to develop feelings for her and when I confessed to her she didn't reciprocate. I was hurt and admittedly a little angry so when I saw start to date someone from her job, I accused her of playing with my feelings and said some mean things before I burned my bridges. After that year, I made no attempt to ever contact her again so that I can distance myself and hopefully recover from feeling devastated. So I gave up on her all together.

    Flash forward to about 3 months ago, she sent me a message on social media. It took me a minute to recognize who it was and when I did, I considered ignoring it and never thinking about it again. I managed to convince myself to respond, though and we spent the rest of the night on the phone talking. It felt like no time had ever passed and nothing bad had happened between us and it felt great. We even brought up what happened nearly 8 years ago and we were both able to laugh about it after apologizing to each other. The next few nights we spent hours at a time on the phone talking and watching movies on Skype (I had moved from Miami to Orlando and she was still in Miami). I can honestly say it was the happiest I felt in a really long time and I feel like everything was meant to happen that way.

    Now, after that first week, I started to feel feelings develop again. Just talking to her again was digging up things I thought I had buried. I have spent the last few months debating on if I should say anything to her because I honestly don't want her to look at me and leave because she doesn't want to deal with it. I'm much more mature now than I was 8 years ago and I know that if rejected again I would be able to move past it even if the pain doesn't really go away because I want to be apart of her life and I want her to be happy even if I'm not the cause.

    I wanted to tell her in person because it just seems like the most genuine way to discuss feelings like that but I wanted to wait until after she finished nursing school so that I wasn't a distraction from her studies for better or worse. The problem is, our schedules haven't been able to align where I was in town and she was available. I wouldn't be able to see her for another month and I'm not sure if I should wait to tell her in person or call her and talk about it like that. I was planning on moving back to Miami after my lease ran out in July anyways so I'm not sure if I should just wait or not. I honestly have never felt this strongly for anyone and it's been consuming my thoughts.

    Is there any advice? Or maybe just a discussion about this? I for sure plan on telling her how I feel but I'm not sure how and when and maybe it just isn't a good idea all together.

  2. #2
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    302
    It's a terrible idea. Do not discuss feelings with her at this point, neither in person nor on the phone.

    Try to have a light-hearted, fun, date with her when you can. Just try to give her a good time. If she's showing sings of attraction, try to kiss her or escalate.

    You're actually friendzoning yourself already by talking to her that much on the phone... I think it's highly unlikely that this woman is gonna give you what you want...

  3. #3

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    Miami, FL
    Posts
    2
    Gender
    Male
    I would prefer to just be open and honest with her since that's the kind of relationship we have with each other. We're pretty close so I don't think going in for a kiss if I think somethings there is the right move especially if we can have a discussion about things. I don't necessarily care if I'm friendzoning myself because I'm not gonna play these games where I plan my talking schedule or anything. If I want to talk to her and she wants to talk to me then that's what I'm gonna do. If I do end up getting friendzoned, it'll hurt but I wouldn't run away like I did before. I would rather be hurt after being honest rather than destroy myself with never knowing.


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