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Thread: Old flame wants another chance. Iím engaged!

  1. #1

    Old flame wants another chance. Iím engaged!

    Itís actually funny. Feels good to be able to tell them to get lost.
    Last edited by Cecebella97; 05-13-2019 at 05:24 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Ego tripping.... Looking to see if they can still pull your strings. Not really flattering to you and completely egotistical on their end. Flattering themselves at your expense - so don't ever confuse that with actual caring about you.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Oof. If you're here truly lamenting that this guy didn't get back to you sooner rather than appreciating the fact he didn't resulted in you agreeing to marry the man you've got now, I'd do your current guy a favor and, at the very least, call off the engagement. Sad to see.

  4. #4
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    As someone who posted about almost this exact same thing the other day (I am not engaged though), I sympathize. I think J.Man is being a bit harsh, as it's naturally to think about the "what could have been" when an ex crawls out of the woodwork to say they want another shot. In my case, I'd only been dating my girlfriend for 3 months, so if I did want to give it another shot, it would be much easier than it would be for you. In the end, I decided that I had to let the merit or demerits of my current relationship define its fate. Not the prospect of having a better offer. Or at least a more familiar one. I don't know if you're looking for advice or sympathy, but I can give the latter! In my case, the generous thinking would be that my ex-gf realized how important I was to her and, realizing how brief life is on this world, wanted that known. The not generous thinking would be that, once you're with someone else, they want what they can't have. Sucks either way!

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  6. #5
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    Why did you leave the door open, OP?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rdunsany
    As someone who posted about almost this exact same thing the other day (I am not engaged though), I sympathize. I think J.Man is being a bit harsh, as it's naturally to think about the "what could have been" when an ex crawls out of the woodwork to say they want another shot. In my case, I'd only been dating my girlfriend for 3 months, so if I did want to give it another shot, it would be much easier than it would be for you. In the end, I decided that I had to let the merit or demerits of my current relationship define its fate. Not the prospect of having a better offer. Or at least a more familiar one. I don't know if you're looking for advice or sympathy, but I can give the latter! In my case, the generous thinking would be that my ex-gf realized how important I was to her and, realizing how brief life is on this world, wanted that known. The not generous thinking would be that, once you're with someone else, they want what they can't have. Sucks either way!
    Its not harsh.

    Many on your own post said a variation of the same thing: they felt bad for your current partner that you were giving so much attention to an ex.

    If an ex asked me back, I may laugh about it to by BFF I would not create an account to write a braggy blerb about it, its just sad and incredibly transparent...

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How old is this flame and when was the breakup? Why are you still in contact? How long have you been dating/engaged since your breakup?
    Originally Posted by Cecebella97
    Itís actually funny. Feels good to be able to tell them to get lost.


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