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Thread: Please help.

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2019

    Please help.

    Hello guys im 19 years old and my girlfriend is 16. she became 16 yesterday. im from tunisia and bear with me this is going to be a long story ...
    I know my girlfriend since 3 years ago. i liked her from the very moment i saw her but the problem was she had a boyfriend (which is the only boyfriend she ever had before me.) well we became friends and we used to text sometimes and i was good friend with her older sister ( she got 2 sisters my gf is the youngest and the one that i was friend with is same age as me and the old one is 21 or 22 years old); so basically she broke up with him (nothing to do with me) and then we became closer and closer but i didnt want to get to a relationship with her because of the bad friends that her sister ( the one i was friends with had). those friends are bad people and all they do is create problems for people; they hate and they didnt like me because im a rich kid athough not spoiled and my father raised me as if im not rich

    well we got closer first time and then i took some space; then we got back closer and closer which is last summer and i got away again because lf the bad friends of her sister the problem is one girl is a common friend of both my gf and her sister and they are childhood friends, altho my gf hates her because she knows she is bad know also her sister too. last summer when we became close again she had known a guy lets call him wis for now. well this wis is the kind of guy that doesnt have guy friends; he only got girls friends and he is just like girls he s a little you know ... hey maybe gay i dont know and i have no problem with that just describing him. then we got away a little this year; she came to my highschool to study so i was seeing her everyday and all and also this wis too. we got close again etc ... and all my friends were telling me its the time go ahead, so i talked with her i told her that i know that we've been liking each other for too long so now its time to get together. she was happy alot and said yes right away but then i asked her if she wants to be my girlfriend. i have one rule that she must respect and its that anything that happens between us stays between us. she accepted. well i live in tunisia.. people are not so openminded so i dont like my girlfriend having alot of guy friends and especially not having a guy friend that sticks to her 24/7. the problem is this wis was with her 24/7..like if she goes to doctor or takes dog for a walk or if she comes to school he go to her home just to walk her to school, and i dont like that.

    i talked about that with her. she said its normal, he is just like her sister ( keep ij mind he is friends with her sisters too). well then he keeps getting on my nerves at first i liked him because he looked like a good dude. then my girl started bringing him home to lunch with her and even when i tell her to go study with me she says yes. then she call me and say she goes with him so he really started pissing me off. I talked to her about it and i told her that it aint gonna work.

    one day i was in her house with her. we was alone and talking; i kissed her as her phone got a text. it was him he said love the problem is i know he doesnt mean it but it pisses me off. its not right: he is not respecting me like that so we argued. I got the phone, opened the messages and remember the rule ? I found she sends him screenshots of our texts when we argue so he help her to fix our problems. so i got really angry and then i told her not to not talk to him anymore. she said okay.

    next day she was going to walk to school an she called her friend to come and walk with her ( her bestfriend is a girl and is also good friend with wis ) okay the girll didnt come but wis came altho i told her not to walk with him. we argued so then i talked to him i told him dont go to her home i told him to stop doing that and all.. I didnt threaten him but i talked to him. he said okay and all and i told him to stop causing problems. then more problems happened. i talked to him again but with a high tone and then he came at me and said that the only solution that he found is not to stay friends with her, but he told me that he was going to her home to see her sisters. i told him you can see them somewhere else and i talked to her mother and she was convinced and she told me that he wont come again . He told me okay.

    After this,3 months passed no problems whatsoever and yesterday is my girlfriend birthday. i bought her an iphone and before yesterday she was going out with her girlfriends... 2 of them that are her good friends . They dont like me and i dont trust them because they like going out with guys and all, although my gf doesnt go out when there are other guys. but yeah and there have been few problems because of her girlfriends before. well i had to study so i said i will come at 00:00 to see her. she said okay i will go out with the girls before you come and i will be home just before 00:00 I said okay at 00:00 Everything was fine: her mother was happy she was happy she liked her gift etc... well everything was fine and remember before she did go out with her girlfriends. I asked her to tell them not to bring wis because i know that they would do that. she said stop and we didnt talk for 3 months...din't worry. I said okay.

    the next day which is yesterday ( her birthday ) her friend ( girl ) came at her home because of birthday to see her, and the bf of her sister came too and she called me saying that theres a problem with the phone. i told her ill come to get the phone at 10 pm and she said okay. well I got there earlier and guess who was there going to her home ? Wis ... after all that. the problem is he didnt enter the home yet. well lemme get this clear when i saw him i rushed and entered the house straight to my gf room and I said whats he doing here? well she told me she didnt know he was coming. it was her sister who brought him. so i said okay and i took the phone and go back to my car. the boyfriend of her sister came at me and talked to me and then my gf came. i couldnt bear this anymore i cant trust no one is this house anymore it was very bad and the problem was all the house was convinced that they were right, even my girlfriend. then her mother came to me and was shouting at me and arguing and made me look wrong while im clearly not wrong, because she's the one who broke her promise.

    she told me she didn't bring him; i its my daughters decision. i told her i dont care its your job to keep your promise. her daughters knows the whole story so they know that they shouldnt tell him to come. the problem is her mother told me he came for her sisters so i said he didnt come for 3 months and now he come at the birthday of my girl? She said so what? i told her you broke you promise and that if they are not friends he shouldnt come at her birthday. the problem is everyone was there her friend ( girl) her sisters the boyfriends. lf both of her sisters the friend of the bf of her sister and even wis was there to say happy birthday it was clearly a birthday setup and they didnt even tell me! I cant attend to my girlfriend birthday so that this wis can come !

    This is really heartbreaking ... also the boyfriend of her older sister told me that they were going to a cafe with me and they were going to tell me that wis came there. this is really illogical. they want to tell me about the mistake. after they do I cant do a thing please what should i do ? Should i get to wis and punch him and kick him and terrify him ? I am really stuck; I dont even know what to do !! Im 19 years old and i got beaten on this whole game by a 15 year old dude ... i cant trust anyone in that house anymore please guys tell me how do i get rid of this dude "

  2. 05-13-2019, 10:45 AM

  3. 05-13-2019, 11:34 AM

  4. 05-13-2019, 02:22 PM

  5. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Others will give better advice for you, but in my opinion, there's a lot of jealousy here. You cannot tell her who to be friends with; that's controlling, as well as snooping through her phone. That just paints you in a negative light. You also cannot assault someone so get that out of your head.

    However you are entitled to your feelings...if she values friendship with men that you find inappropriate then you two are incompatible. You should move on. But again: you don't have the right to control who she hangs with, sees, etc..

    How do you know these friends are bad? What have they done?
    Last edited by caraviolin; 05-13-2019 at 02:43 PM.

  6. 05-13-2019, 02:36 PM

  7. #3
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    This body
    Originally Posted by Jennifer2018
    he is likely not a native English Speaker... and he is 19. be gentle.
    Any time someone posts a giant wall of text, there's nothing wrong with advising them to format it in a way that's easier to digest. In fact, it's to the OP's benefit, as more people will be inclined to take the time to try to help them instead of pass it of as not worth the effort. Please don't take such suggestions as mean-spirited.

  8. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    You sound very controlling. You cannot dictate who she hangs out with. You are not her father. You also should not be reading her messages.

    Wis was not the problem, your gf wanted him in her life.. She chose not to cut him off. I wouldn't either, as this is her friend.

    It seems that no one really likes you. You cannot control people. If you don't like things, then you exit the relationship

    If your gf is smart, she will end things with you. You are scary.

    I suggest you address your control and insecurity issues. You are not ready to be anyone's bf.


  10. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    No, the answer is not to punch and "terrify" him unless you want his parents to have you arrested.

  11. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    No, the answer is not to punch and "terrify" him unless you want his parents to have you arrested.
    And, he is 19 and the other guy is 15. Unbelievable.

  12. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    if there is no trust there is no relationship. Her family will always be in her life. If she cut out her family and friends she will have built up resentment for you in the future. Its not fair. But its the truth. I think you need a break to heal - go on a holiday take a break and move on. If its meant to be it will be but for now its not the right time. Its also not fair for you to put yourself through this heartbreak if you don't trust her or the people around her.

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