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Thread: Dealing with a paranoid boyfriend while pregnant

  1. #1
    Member PinkSunrise's Avatar
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    Dealing with a paranoid boyfriend while pregnant

    I'm currently 6 months pregnant and have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We have by no means had a perfect relationship, but we always had love and respect. Before getting pregnant, we had tried for about a year. When I finally found out I was pregnant, we were both very happy. Now the happiness is over and he has become very paranoid and has been seeing "me" cheating on him. He even took screenshots of someone on google maps that he is convinced is me. I have never cheated or even come close to cheating on him. He's totally convinced I am cheating and is demanding a DNA test while calling me a compulsive liar and a horrible person. The stress I've been feeling these past few months are horrific. Every day is a new accusation. I don't know what to do. If I tell him I'm leaving him because this is crazy, he tells me that he's going to fight me to get full custody of our child. I know he wont get it but I'm still scared that somehow this will happen. I've recently found out that he is on speed and I know this is contributing to the paranoia. I'm so stressed and I'm terrified about what this is doing to the baby.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Get out of this relationship right now it is very abusive .

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    You might need to explain that what he's doing is harming you and the baby, so he needs to stop. You also mention he is abusing drugs and that might be a reason to stay away from him or move on. I know I may be jumping the gun with that advice, but your baby comes first and you need to do everything you can to ensure your protect the child, even if it means "unfairly" treating another by taking a break or breaking up with them.

    Calling a family law attorney might be a good idea, too.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    He's speeding? No wonder he's coming up with foolish accusations. You need a lawyer. I see almost no hope for this relationship unless he gets himself clean.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    What a shame that one of the most exciting experiences of your life is being tarnished by your b/f's bullchittery. I am sorry he is putting you through this.

    Do you have family that will take you in? If you do, I suggest you pack a bag and get yourself to them where you will be protected from his paranoid, drug induced crazy. Tell him that when he puts himself into therapy or rehab or a 12 step programme for drug abusers, you will consider reconciling with him. Once you are out, do as others have suggested and see a family lawyer to talk about child support and DNA testing so that he doesn't throw that accusation in your face again.

  7. #6
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    He will not get custody.

    Get away from this abusive lunatic . Now!

    Why in the world did you decide to have a child with someone like this? Terrible for the child, and you will be tied to him for 18 years. Don't get your decision.

    Oh god, this loser is also a drug addict. Poor kid!

  8. #7
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

    As others have said, the next moves here are simple: let him know he's jeopardizing you and the baby with this behavior, and that you won't talk to him until he commits to therapy and gets clean. In the meantime, consult a lawyer so you know what the next steps would be if you have to raise this child outside of a relationship with him.

    Speed certainly amps up paranoia in people, as does—much as I hate to say this—behaving in otherwise shameful ways. When people get this hostile it's generally because they've got something to hide. Maybe that's just his drug use, maybe more—who knows?

    What's not up for debate is that you can't allow this energy into your life right now.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
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    If I tell him I'm leaving him because this is crazy, he tells me that he's going to fight me to get full custody of our child.
    He’s resorting to scare tactics to get you to stay with him. He’s abusive. In many cases, women win custody battles moreso than men do - especially if he has a drug history.

    It’s time to check out.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Do not entertain, defend or even consider feeding his drug induced paranoia. Shut down all access to your devices, change all passwords and sever all accounts. Reset all privacy and location settings on all platforms, apps and devices. You are at great risk for being harmed or arrested.

    You need to get him out of the home away from you and get a restraining order. Let him go live with friends, family, crackhouses, shelters, rehab, jail, whatever, but get him out now.
    Originally Posted by PinkSunrise
    I'm currently 6 months pregnant and have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. I've recently found out that he is on speed.

  11. #10
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    Did you both dabble in drugs throughout your relationship? Or just him? Or is this a new thing for him?
    May I ask why you chose to have a child with someone without commitment to the relationship first?

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