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Thread: Ask for clarification or let sleeping dogs lie?

  1. #11
    Forum Supporter Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jackie103
    Iím interested in continuing to hook up with her, like a FWB kind of situation.
    That's basically what you're getting. You're just not on a regular schedule for hook-ups.

  2. #12
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    Relax. The girl is dealing with finals. You are coming across as needy and insecure.

    Wait for her to contact you.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Text response times seem to upset you. However you told this one you wanted 'nothing serious just fooling around', so how much devotion to texting and tethering to a phone can you expect? You could reflect on why texting and response time are this important yet you don't want "anything serious".
    Originally Posted by jackie103
    I told her nothing serious at the moment but that i'm not opposed to something if it happens.

    We texted a bit the next day and since friday and throughout the weekend, her responses have really slowed down and she doesn't seem as enthusiastic.

  4. #14
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You could reflect on why texting and response time are this important yet you don't want "anything serious".
    I think he seriously wants to get laid (hence only looking for hook up/fwb).

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  6. #15
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    Itís only because I sense a shift. I told her I didnít want anything serious before we even met up and we texted much more previously, even after our first date. But Iíll take the advice and give it some time, if she never texts back, I know I have my response

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by jackie103
    Itís only because I sense a shift. I told her I didnít want anything serious before we even met up and we texted much more previously, even after our first date. But Iíll take the advice and give it some time, if she never texts back, I know I have my response
    Response to what????
    What are you looking for?
    You said nothing serious but open to it.

    Tell her exactly what you want right now. So she actually has something to decide on rather than the fluff youíve been giving her so far. !?

    Make sure you know what you want first.
    Because how is someone else meant to second guess when you are still undecided!

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by jackie103
    Itís only because I sense a shift. I told her I didnít want anything serious before we even met up and we texted much more previously, even after our first date. But Iíll take the advice and give it some time, if she never texts back, I know I have my response
    OK then I am going to change my response slightly. If you only wanted a casual hook up your actions in posting and your level of concern make me think you're being somewhat dishonest with yourself. Is this all about ego - that if she doesn't respond she didn't like the sex as much as you thought, she didn't find you as hot as you thought? I'd work really hard on getting over that hurdle of caring that much about being declined for more sex. Or get really honest that you actually wanted more and were lying to yourself and playing it cool -emphasis on play. Maybe she decided she wanted more than you were offering and maybe she actually only wanted sex but with all your texting senses you want more so she's gonna run like the wind. We don't know but how you're acting now seems inconsistent with what you say you want.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    If you're just bummed that she's not texting you as muchóthat she's depriving you of that little buzz and boredom-killeróthen you just have to suck it up and remember that this is what "nothing serious" looks and feels like.

    If you're bummed for other reasonsówell, explore those and see if you can explore them with her with a little more intention. But that happens slowly as well, with ebbs and flows in texting.

    Regardless of what you want here, or where it goes, consider this a good time to build that little muscle where you can handle a few hours without a text message, or a slight shift in text flow, without getting too much into your head.

  10. #19
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    If you're only looking for FWB with her, you need to adjust your expectations.

    FWB is casual. So what if there is a shift in her response time? Why worry if you have done something to put her off if all you really want is sex and friendly companionship?

    I ask the above rhetorically, really, because I don't believe all you want is FWB with this girl. That's perfectly okay too, but I think you need to be more honest with yourself.

  11. #20
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    I think many of you are right. At the time, before I met her, I didnít think Iíd like her enough to be more than FWB. Even after meeting her, I was feeling kind of iffy. She was really enthusiastic after we met about seeing me again so I think that made me feel good and definitely boosted my ego a bit.

    My ego is taking a hit with her decreased enthusiasm and perhaps the psychology of it is making me feel like I want to spend more time with her, talk to her, etc etc.

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