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Thread: Itís been 2 years

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2019
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    Itís been 2 years

    To keep it simple and short itís been 2 years and today is Motherís day and as much as I hated to cause an argument I wouldíve felt more guilt had I not spoken my thoughts. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years now and donít get me wrong sheís everything I wouldíve imagined and plan on marrying her but now I donít know what to think since she keeps holding off on one important matter that I feel would give you the comfort of knowing that the person youíre with is the one. She hasnít met my mother or my family since we have been together. Now what Iím about to say may sound odd but yes we moved in together at the start of our relationship about 5 months in and lived at her sisters for about 1 year and so months and now we are finally in our apartment and itís been a few months and weíll into our 2 year relationship. Sheís a mother of a child that I see my self as my own and sheís 5 met her when she was 3 and everything seems right and since weíve been together weíve had our troublesome but managed to get through the obstacles and everything we talk about and do and plan speaks in the direction of us really becoming a family and that makes me happy more than anything but of course also makes me think now that weíre in our apartment and building it little by little when is she going to meet my mother and family? I mean Iíve met hers about 8 months into our relationship and I go out and do everything with them and we spend quality time but then thereís times that it hits me especially on days like today where I feel itís time for her to meet my mother. It caused an argument and well like all the time I bring it up it always results in a fight :/. We were supposed to go out and me take her out for motherís day but when she told me she invited her brother and her mom weíll i got upset and now sad because itís turned into a terrible day but I donít know how to feel because I didnít feel it was right for me to just say okay and me think about my mother being at home and me being out with my gfs family. Thanks for reading, I couldnít go to family or friends because I feel they wouldnít understand or tell me something like just get up and leave as if itís that easy especially in my kind of relationship.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    Why does she not want to meet your family?

    I can't imagine your family isn't already concerned about why they haven't met her, even if they haven't voiced that directly. I would be very upset if after 2 years together, especially living together and helping raise the little one, my partner refused to meet my family. Something more is going on there.

    Can you elaborate on the reasons she gives you for avoiding this step?

  3. #3

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    May 2019
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    They are concerned as to why the mystery woman doesnít want to meet them. Iíve asked her and one she said at first because it was due to weight being and issue and I can assure you her image is no where close to being an issue of weight sheís a beautiful women that Iíve ever laid eyes on and her figure would be the last thing on earth for her to make an excuse about. Sheís more intimidated of meeting my mother more per say because me and my mother have a relationship that isnít like most which throws her off because she has a close relationship with her mother as to me and my mother well on a count that Iíve been raised by her we donít quite have the mother son connection. To make it simple my mother when it comes to showing emotion itís pretty dull and sheís stubborn and well the way she talks to me she shows no emotion well at least to me but itís always been like that and well now that I am older I want to get closer to her in terms of showing love and emotion which is in the works and so my gf when she hears my conversations with my mother she seems more feared of meeting her because she says if she talks to you like that canít imagine how itíll be with me. The thing with my mom is that sheís like that with me but with others itís sheís different and I tell her all the time I wasnít easy to raise cuz Iím not gonna lie but nonetheless I turned out better than what most people thought I have my career etc etc. and so my gf feels sheíll be judged because she also has a child and well I see it different because I feel my mother should understand on a count that I was raised by a step father that is no longer in the picture. I mean my gf went ahead a while back and added my siblings and talks through them through social media but I find it odd because to me itís like how can you do that but not want to meet them which honestly itís not my sibilants thatís the issue itís my mother that sheís just having trouble wanting to make that step. Also I guess sheís more feared because Iíve spoken to my mom to get together and make the proper introduction and well sheís stated (and my gf heard on the phone) Iíll let you know because I work in which to my gf seems like sheís not Interested.

  4. #4
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    More punctuation would be really helpful, instead of big ole run on sentences.

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  6. #5

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    May 2019
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    Sorry just so much on my mind

  7. #6
    Member PerkyGreek's Avatar
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    If I were in your shoes I would try to look at another angle. Just to talk to your gf calmly and try to dig in a little more deeply, not directly asking, but somewhat like ease her into talking. She might have had a bad or even traumatic experience, maybe judged or mocked by the mother or an aunt or a relative of the guy who got her pregnant. Or someone else. There seems to be fear of being judged. Someone who has been shamed will have that reluctance even if you reassure her. And making the meeting a bit too formal might be stressing her even more. I am just offering here something, a theory actually, that there might be a deeper issue involved that she is scared to discuss.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Try a more low pressure, low key type of meeting. Not something like mother's day or a holiday. Make it a quick lunch in a restaurant (neutral setting). Also do not have the whole family there at once. try meeting everyone here and there, dinner, lunch etc.
    Originally Posted by Justjay
    I mean my gf went ahead a while back and added my siblings and talks through them through social media but I find it odd because to me itís like how can you do that but not want to meet them which honestly itís not my sibilants thatís the issue itís my mother that sheís just having trouble wanting to make that step.


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