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Thread: Please help me- is he a narcassist ? What now!

  1. #11
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Just the fact that you became attached to someone in spite of all the glaring red flags and shocking behavior is a clear indication that there is something about you that is a target for men like these.

    You used the words `shocked, massive shock, feeling nervous, overwhelmed and several others to describe the reactions you FELT when dealing with this man, but yet you decided not only to sleep with him, but to get attached.

    These are things you need to figure out.
    What is it about you that attracted him to you? Why on earth were you attracted to him?

    And what are you going to do going forward that will teach you to listen to those internal signals, trust that god given intuition that was screaming at you that this guy was bad news?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    This guy is stalking you and abusing you - instead of being scared to death and running like the wind, you seem to confuse his psychotic behavior with love, caring, and in general find it flattering. It.is.NOT.flattering. You are dealing with an abusive psycho and nothing about his behavior has anything to do with love or caring about you. It's all about controlling you. Get it? I hope you figure it out before you become a statistic, either by this current psycho or some other psycho you might confuse for love. Please block this guy from any further contact and stay safe. Constant text and attention can be addictive, but please, don't confuse that for anything real. It isn't. It's dangerous to you.

  3. #13
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    Thank you so so much ! I have deleted his number so I canít block him as I deleted him and donít know his number off by heart but did block from social media so I donít snoop and hurt myself . Thank you for telling me time is a healer I needed to hear that . I have great friends around me but itís good to get random pťoples opinions as my friends just think his an idiot and canít understand why Iím so hurt, I donít choose to be hurt I canít help this X

  4. #14
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ammy7758
    Thank you so so much ! I have deleted his number so I canít block him as I deleted him and donít know his number off by heart but did block from social media so I donít snoop and hurt myself . Thank you for telling me time is a healer I needed to hear that . I have great friends around me but itís good to get random pťoples opinions as my friends just think his an idiot and canít understand why Iím so hurt, I donít choose to be hurt I canít help this X
    Good job!
    But your work is not done.
    You need to spend some time digging deep into why you found yourself in this situation to begin with. Because if you don't learn from this, you are likely repeat it.

    The goal here is to head this stuff off at the pass all on your own and to recognize the difference between good and bad. Especially when it's this painfully obvious.

    I am glad you came here to ask, but my hope for you is that can recognize toxic behavior all on your own and not have to come and ask strangers on the internet if this mans behavior is ok or not.
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 05-13-2019 at 03:43 PM.

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  6. #15
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    You need to address why you allowed him to come back in your life after the first incident. this is also about you and how you allow people to treat you.

    Blaring red flags:
    "he said he started to develop feelings and that he may be falling in love with me , we text about marriage kids all sorts I started to really like him one night we spent 5 hours on the phone to eachother!!! . If i didnít reply to his texts he would send about 8 in a row until I did ."

    "Then he said some weird things like he knows I used to text men same time as him (I did at the beginning as meeting on a dating site assumed he did the same) and I should go meet other men and he will still be my friend. I was upset just assumed he didn't like me in that way or fancy me which massively knocked my confidence . So we had a bit of a falling out he said some nasty things like I looked like a mess when he saw me and should make more of an effort ."


    "we then got back texting and calling loads and I mean 24/77. I met him a few weeks after again and spent weekend with him. After that weekend the following day I went to afternoon tea with my mum and he rang me constantly like show me who your with send me a picture I was like no itís my mum and we got in a nasty fight . Day after that I went to a concert with my friends in London and he said he knew Iíd run off to London as Iím a tramp and he called me vile names rang me screaming at me SaÔd about me texting men and the drink I went on with that guy and I'm so untrustworthy heíd never be with someone like me - we agreed to cut ties I was in tears with his harsh words."

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Ammy7758
    Thank you so so much ! I have deleted his number so I canít block him as I deleted him and donít know his number off by heart but did block from social media so I donít snoop and hurt myself . Thank you for telling me time is a healer I needed to hear that . I have great friends around me but itís good to get random pťoples opinions as my friends just think his an idiot and canít understand why Iím so hurt, I donít choose to be hurt I canít help this X

    Of course you can help this. You knew after the first incident, but chose to return. You are 30, not 17. Make better choices.

  8. #17
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    Ammy, you may not have chosen to be hurt per se, but given how hurt you were after the first incident, you took a huge risk in going back a second time.

    You must have known getting hurt again was a big possibility, so in a way, you really have no one to blame but yourself.

    Please use this experience as one to learn and grow from!

    "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on ME!!"

  9. #18
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Threads have been merged.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Let him go. If it helps, ask your friends not to speak about him anymore. What he does is not your business from now on and vice versa (what you do is none of his business). Move forward and put this behind you.

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