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Thread: Met a Potential New Friend Yesterday ...

  1. #21
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    I think women can be really friendly to other women and forward like that because they don't have many friends/don't know many people in the area. Maybe she's just moved and she wants female friends? I mean, you are saying you really clicked, so obviously she felt that connection too and it wasn't unfounded?

    I actually have had a couple of women just strike up a conversation with me at a train station (I'm very friendly though) and ask for my number and to catch up. This is because they were from overseas and had not been in the country long and they wanted female friends. However yes I would be just a little bit wary and Make sure she's not a religious fanatic or running some kind of pyramid scheme.

    I once had this Mormon girl accost me at a bus stop and she was quite pushy. She kept talking to me and I couldn't go anywhere because I was waiting for the bus. She asked for my number and I gave it to her only because I was cancelling my phone plan and changing my number. She called me at 10 p.m. that night! That's an extreme story though!

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    If we're betting, then my money is on a multi-level marketing business. I've been approached by other women this way before: they start with compliments, then they ask to meet for coffee, then we talk about personal lives, work, etc., and then they break out their business discussion (Rodan & Fields, Mary Kay, Avon, Amway, etc.).

    They usually walk up to me and say "I love your dress! That's sooooo cute! Where did you get it?" and then, they ask me if I work in the area. When I tell them what I do, they say, "I was in the corporate world too, but now, my time is my own! Want to hear how?"

    The optimist in me says she just found you intriguing and wants to be your friend.

    And the realist in me says just go to dinner and let us know how it turns out. I hope it's as a new friend!
    Yes, this is what I was thinking. Kind of happened to me although we are still friends/friendly even though I told her straight out I want no R&F samples, will never buy anything and would be happy to refer her to potential consultants if I knew someone looking to get into the business. And yes I have started a close friendship with a random stranger - 8 years ago a woman approached me basically on a city street to ask me about my stroller. Turns out we were the same age with kids the same age and even had dated the same guy lol. We remain in touch - although I moved away- and feel close whenever we catch up.
    Last edited by Batya33; 05-12-2019 at 06:54 PM.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Yeah, my first thought was MLM too.
    Before, it was only family members trying to hit me up.
    Lately, I have been approached cold while out in public doing every day things. There seem to be so many in it now?!

    But you never know. I'd give a coffee a try. I hope it works out she just wants a friend, as it's always nice when that happens rather randomly:)

  4. #24
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    I live in a large city, so people are more open to meeting strangers and hanging out if there is a connection. I would not think anything of it. I think that she thought you were a lovely woman and wanted to get to know you better as a new friend.

    Have fun!

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  6. #25
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    How about this casual approach to find out if she's wanting to date you or just being friendly: "Have you seen the Avengers Endgame, Chris Evans is so good looking. Don't you think?"

    I picked a random movie and actor that you can substitute with whatever you prefer - even magazine covers, TV shows, etc.
    Last edited by greendots; 05-13-2019 at 02:11 AM.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. Doesn't sound like a lesbian date sounds like a recruiter. Cult, MLM or some sort of set up. Do not meet for dinner. At most get a coffee at whatever mall you saw her.
    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    Yeah, my first thought was MLM too.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Could be any of the above, but we all need to take some minor risks in order to learn potential payoffs. I tend to set my internal trust meter to a neutral 5 when meeting new people, then I observe and allow them to show me over time whether I'll invest more trust or withdraw it and walk away.

    I wouldn't bother trying to coax the woman into coughing up her sexual status or other info that's yet undisclosed. The whole point of getting to know people is to learn this stuff over time. Whether she's lesbian or not would be irrelevant to me, because if she wanted to know whether I was available before investing time in me, she could have simply asked.

    If she pulls out some MLM scam, I'd enjoy the rest of my meal and stop her at the earliest appropriate time by saying, how about if you leave that material with me to consider later, and we talk about non-business stuff while we're eating?

    I'd split the tab and split quickly if I get the sense that I don't want to be friends. Otherwise, it's nothing lost and a question answered to share a nice meal with someone you might enjoy.

    Fingers crossed for you, Kat.

  9. #28
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    Thnx guys for all your insight!

    Not sure I agree with those who say it's MLM or recruiter, but I suppose it's possible.

    I just didn't get that sense; we spent over an hour walking and talking, absolutely no mention of a side business or trying to sell me on anything. No business card given.

    We talked about our jobs (Littler, she is a RN who works in a large local hospital). And I in legal.

    We talked about travel, where we are from, how we like living downtown, good eats and restaurants we like, stuff like that.

    In retrospect, I regret not mentioning my bf, I could have said "oh my bf and I LOVE that place"! Or something like that but I didn't, I was simply enjoying meeting/getting to know a new friend.

    Anyway, we shall see!

    We made a plan to have dinner after work this week, we have each other's number and if I don't hear from her by tomorrow I will reach out.

    My gut tells me she just wants a friendship, but I've been wrong before about such things so we shall see!

    But my thought is, even IF she is lesbian or bi, still no reason why we can't be friends, as long as she understands and accepts that I'm straight and in a happy relationship w my bf.

    Thanks again, I will be sure to update!!

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    ...Not sure I agree with those who say it's MLM or recruiter, but I suppose it's possible...
    Even if it is a MLM recruiter, it doesn't mean you're any less of a catch.


    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    ...We talked about our jobs (Littler, she is a RN who works in a large local hospital). And I in legal...
    If you're in legal, I have a feeling you're pretty good at reading people. Or maybe she's tired of the grueling hours as an RN and she wants a nice comfy job as an expert witness in med mal cases?


    We will await your updates with much anticipation. Good luck!

  11. #30
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    If she was interested in getting to know you better in a non platonic sense then the first things she would ask you about is your availability right? She would have sought out if you had a partner. Also she would let you know she finds you attractive by complimenting your appearance, not your handbag?! All of the things you mentioned you chatted about are basic getting to know you better lines of conversation. It all seems very platonic to me.

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