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Met a Potential New Friend Yesterday ...


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Hi guys, need your opinion on something.

 

Yesterday I was shopping and a woman who looked to be around my age (mid to late 30s) approached me out of the blue complimenting my handbag and asking questions about it -- where I purchased it, how much she liked it, etc..

 

Anyway, she seemed very nice and we started chatting, we seemed to click, and it all felt very comfortable, being that she was literally a stranger.

 

Anyway we walked around and talked about many things, but she never asked if I had a bf (nor did I ask her) and I did not think to mention it as our convo did not warrant mention of it.

 

As I was leaving, she asked for my number and if I would like to have dinner next week after work. I responded "sure, that sounds fun" and we exchanged numbers.

 

So there I was all happy that I made a new friend :D, when I get to my bf's place, I mentioned it to him and he's telling me to not be so naive, that this girl does not want to be my "friend" she asked me out on a "date," and I accepted!

 

Now I gotta admit I've never met a friend this way, and if she had been a man cold-approaching and complimenting me in some way, I would have viewed it as a pick up, him asking me on a date.

 

So now I don't know quite what to think, is my bf right?

 

Was she asking me on a "date" versus simply wanting to be friends?

 

I felt so comfortable w her, she seemed to be someone I could potentially end up good friends with.

 

Thoughts?

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While I've never met a friend this way, I do know how hard it is to meet new friends at this age and if I was in need of a friend now, I might have chosen this road too. I've met various people at bars and added them on FB, for me it's the same. Also, I think you would know if it was a pickup.

You could start texting her though, and find out

In general I'd say go for it! Hope it works out!

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Good advice Cope, tnx.

 

Also, perhaps through text I could mention my boyfriend, and ask her if she's seeing someone.

 

Gauge her response.

 

I was just a bit rattled by what my bf said and questioning if I am a bit naive about such things.

 

Assuming your boyfriend is right, don't get rattled; just take it in stride.

 

As for what the other woman's intentions were, maybe when you call or text her to set something up (or she reaches out to you first), mentioning your boyfriend in a very casual manner sounds like a great idea. You can gauge her reaction or her response and you'll have your answer.

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I've had women come on to me before, both lesbian and bi, and unless it was a blatant announcement they wanted to have sex, my first thought was they wanted to be just friends, while they were thinking there was a mutual attraction, even though I had a bf at the time which they knew.

 

Has not happened in awhile though, so this threw me off guard and I took at face value not even considering whether or not she was trying to pick me up, as I would have had she been a man.

 

I'm very friendly and attentive when I feel comfortable w someone, and tbh not sure what type of vibe I give off; my bf says I give off a very sexual vibe without intending to, so I need to be aware of this before getting myself into situations that could be potentially be very awkward!

 

I'm usually quite perceptive but I dunno, can't seem to figure this one.

 

But yeah all I can do is play it out and hopefully I'll get a better sense of things though txt before we meet.

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I've had women come on to me before, both lesbian and bi, me thinking they wanted to be just friends, them thinking there was a mutual attraction, even though I had a bf at the time which they knew.

 

Has not happened in awhile though, so this threw me off guard and I took at face value not even considering whether or not she was trying to pick me up, as I would have had she been a man.

 

I'm very friendly and attentive when I feel comfortable w someone, and tbh not sure what type of vibe I give off; my bf says I give off a very sexual vibe without intending to, so I need to be aware of this before getting myself into situations that could be potentially be very awkward!

 

I'm usually quite perceptive but I dunno, can't seem to figure this one.

 

But yeah all I can do is play it out and hopefully I'll get a better sense of things though txt before we meet.

 

That sounds similar to my spouse, who has no trouble being friendly with a complete stranger and making them feel like a million bucks (in a good, non-sexual way).

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Well, I truly hope she does want to be just friends - one, because from the way we got on, it'd be fun being friends, and two, I would LOVE to prove my bf wrong about this!

 

I love his confidence, and he is right about many things, just this once I'd like to say ""haha you were wrong"!!

 

All in good fun of course. :p

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If it were an invite to coffee or lunch, or shopping, I would not bat an eye about it, but the fact that its dinner makes me understand your boyfriend's dilemma. If she said "we should catch dinner after work sometime" counter offer her with coffee or better yet even lunch at the mall you were at because you need to return something/buy something "because I am having dinner with my boyfriend". She could just be someone really eager to make friends. It could be something else. A switch to coffee or lunch or the boyfriend will shake out what this is.

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Sounds pretty friendly to me. I'd just grab dinner and see what's what. If you feel like dropping the "bf" into a text message exchange as a safety measure, no harm in that. But no need to have some kind of "intentions" back and forth.

 

I'm super friendly too, and have been told plenty that I give off, you know, a certain vibe. Nothing I'm interested in reigning in, as it's who I am, and helps me meet great people and sometimes great friends. I think your boyfriend is being adorable, but I also think you know what's what more than he does.

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Well, I truly hope she does want to be just friends - one, because from the way we got on, it'd be fun being friends, and two, I would LOVE to prove my bf wrong about this!

 

I love his confidence, and he is right about many things, just this once I'd like to say ""haha you were wrong"!!

 

All in good fun of course. :p

 

Can we set up a betting pool or something to see how this turns out? Or perhaps the gambling connotation is a no-no here. In that case, we should all give our predictions as to the other woman's true intentions.

 

I'll go first: I think she's romantically interested in the OP.

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Can we set up a betting pool or something to see how this turns out? Or perhaps the gambling connotation is a no-no here. In that case, we should all give our predictions as to the other woman's true intentions.

 

I'll go first: I think she's romantically interested in the OP.

 

Oh I'm in! I say friend!

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Littler, are you a man or woman?

 

I like your idea and it would be interesting to see how the men feel versus the women.

 

So far we know you think she wants more than friendship.

 

bluecastle does not.

 

Cope says friend only, and abitbroken leaning more towards she wants more but not 100% sure.

 

This might be fun and may reveal some aspects of ourselves re gender and sexual stereotypes we have never considered before.

 

Lol, I dunno, I'm overthinking this!

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If we're betting, then my money is on a multi-level marketing business. I've been approached by other women this way before: they start with compliments, then they ask to meet for coffee, then we talk about personal lives, work, etc., and then they break out their business discussion (Rodan & Fields, Mary Kay, Avon, Amway, etc.).

 

They usually walk up to me and say "I love your dress! That's sooooo cute! Where did you get it?" and then, they ask me if I work in the area. When I tell them what I do, they say, "I was in the corporate world too, but now, my time is my own! Want to hear how?"

 

The optimist in me says she just found you intriguing and wants to be your friend.

 

And the realist in me says just go to dinner and let us know how it turns out. I hope it's as a new friend!

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LHG, girl is a nurse! :)

 

We talked and walked for about an hour, no mention of her trying to sell me anything or solicit her business, she never gave me her card.

 

But who the hell knows!

 

My bf is still teasing me about this, ugh!

 

I'm probably just gonna go, it may be fun either way anyway.

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LHG, girl is a nurse! :)

 

 

They usually still have a full-time job until their side business blows up enough (which rarely happens) for them to quit. They just need one more downline person....

 

I'm probably wrong. But for my job, I'm out & about all day long, in office buildings, strip centers, restaurants, etc., and this is how I get approached.

 

I'd go if I were you! I have a friend who met another woman at the airport, and they are good friends now, for years!

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LHG, ever since you mentioned Blanche on Golden Girls a while back, I occassionally catch re-runs on cable.

 

In a way right now I feel like Rose, what would Blanche and Dorothy say? Lol

 

I think there may have even been an episode about this!

 

Do you remember it?

 

I think it was Rose befriended a woman staying with them who was a lesbian.

 

Rose and this woman became very very close, spending all her free time w her.

 

The woman fell in love with her and wanted to marry her and Rose was shocked and embarrassed!

 

And Dorothy and Blanche were like, "well what the hell did you think when you woke up and found her in your bed staring at you every morning?"

 

Something like that anyway, it's on late/early morn and I was probably half asleep while watching. :)

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Littler, are you a man or woman?

 

I like your idea and it would be interesting to see how the men feel versus the women.

 

So far we know you think she wants more than friendship.

 

bluecastle does not.

 

Cope says friend only, and abitbroken leaning more towards she wants more but not 100% sure.

 

This might be fun and may reveal some aspects of ourselves re gender and sexual stereotypes we have never considered before.

 

Lol, I dunno, I'm overthinking this!

 

I'm a man (I'm married, too. I think you should factor that in to your little experiment).

 

Katrina: what kind of nurse is she?

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If we're betting, then my money is on a multi-level marketing business. I've been approached by other women this way before: they start with compliments, then they ask to meet for coffee, then we talk about personal lives, work, etc., and then they break out their business discussion (Rodan & Fields, Mary Kay, Avon, Amway, etc.).

 

They usually walk up to me and say "I love your dress! That's sooooo cute! Where did you get it?" and then, they ask me if I work in the area. When I tell them what I do, they say, "I was in the corporate world too, but now, my time is my own! Want to hear how?"

 

The optimist in me says she just found you intriguing and wants to be your friend.

 

And the realist in me says just go to dinner and let us know how it turns out. I hope it's as a new friend!

 

That's an excellent point, I never though of that possibility.

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I think women can be really friendly to other women and forward like that because they don't have many friends/don't know many people in the area. Maybe she's just moved and she wants female friends? I mean, you are saying you really clicked, so obviously she felt that connection too and it wasn't unfounded?

 

I actually have had a couple of women just strike up a conversation with me at a train station (I'm very friendly though) and ask for my number and to catch up. This is because they were from overseas and had not been in the country long and they wanted female friends. However yes I would be just a little bit wary and Make sure she's not a religious fanatic or running some kind of pyramid scheme.

 

I once had this Mormon girl accost me at a bus stop and she was quite pushy. She kept talking to me and I couldn't go anywhere because I was waiting for the bus. She asked for my number and I gave it to her only because I was cancelling my phone plan and changing my number. She called me at 10 p.m. that night! That's an extreme story though!

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If we're betting, then my money is on a multi-level marketing business. I've been approached by other women this way before: they start with compliments, then they ask to meet for coffee, then we talk about personal lives, work, etc., and then they break out their business discussion (Rodan & Fields, Mary Kay, Avon, Amway, etc.).

 

They usually walk up to me and say "I love your dress! That's sooooo cute! Where did you get it?" and then, they ask me if I work in the area. When I tell them what I do, they say, "I was in the corporate world too, but now, my time is my own! Want to hear how?"

 

The optimist in me says she just found you intriguing and wants to be your friend.

 

And the realist in me says just go to dinner and let us know how it turns out. I hope it's as a new friend!

 

Yes, this is what I was thinking. Kind of happened to me although we are still friends/friendly even though I told her straight out I want no R&F samples, will never buy anything and would be happy to refer her to potential consultants if I knew someone looking to get into the business. And yes I have started a close friendship with a random stranger - 8 years ago a woman approached me basically on a city street to ask me about my stroller. Turns out we were the same age with kids the same age and even had dated the same guy lol. We remain in touch - although I moved away- and feel close whenever we catch up.

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Yeah, my first thought was MLM too.

Before, it was only family members trying to hit me up.

Lately, I have been approached cold while out in public doing every day things. There seem to be so many in it now?!

 

But you never know. I'd give a coffee a try. I hope it works out she just wants a friend, as it's always nice when that happens rather randomly:)

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I live in a large city, so people are more open to meeting strangers and hanging out if there is a connection. I would not think anything of it. I think that she thought you were a lovely woman and wanted to get to know you better as a new friend.

 

Have fun!

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How about this casual approach to find out if she's wanting to date you or just being friendly: "Have you seen the Avengers Endgame, Chris Evans is so good looking. Don't you think?"

 

I picked a random movie and actor that you can substitute with whatever you prefer - even magazine covers, TV shows, etc.

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