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Thread: Angry

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    According to every article you can find on the matter, he keeps digging himself a bigger hole. His moving out will turn out being beneficial for you in the long run. Here's one article.

    One of the most damaging errors a man can make during his divorce is to voluntarily move out of the marital home. This issue is so prevalent it takes the rank of stupidest mistake number one in my book, The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce.

    However, every day men facing divorce move out of their home, and every day men going through divorce quickly learn why it can be such a blunder. Once you vacate the marital home, it can be exceedingly difficult to get back in.

    Should I Stay, or Should I Go?

    One of the most common reasons men move out of the home is they feel it is their obligation to be the one to leave -- even if the divorce wasn't their idea.

    Here is a typical scenario our Cordell & Cordell attorneys hear during initial consultations all the time: The wife comes to them with the bombshell that she wants a divorce, tells the husband that he needs to find a place to stay for a while and in a daze, the husband packs an overnight bag and leaves the home with his tail between his legs.

    Unknowingly, he has just dug himself into a hole before any papers have been filed -- particularly if he has any children.

    The top reason not to leave the marital home "voluntarily" is that it gives your wife's attorney the opportunity to label you as abandoning the family. Even if you feel you are being bullied into leaving by your wife, let me be perfectly clear: You have no obligation to leave the home if your name is on the lease or mortgage.

    Your wife may try to pressure you with various claims, such as, "It would be best for the kids not to see us fight" or even threaten to call the police. She may also try to bribe you with empty promises of all the parenting time you could possibly desire.

    However, there is no way to ensure she follows through with these assurances after she has achieved her goal of getting you to leave the house of your own will.

    Even if she goes to the length of filing for a protective order, having the court remove you from the home allows far more room to argue that despite all your efforts toward maintaining the family routine, you were forced to leave.

    By leaving the home voluntarily, you show the court that staying close to your kids for daily interactions is not that big of a deal to you. Even if you were the greatest dad in the world, it sends a contradictory message when you pack your own bags and leave.

    Presenting the court confirmation of your positive involvement and influence in your children's lives is the best way to receive a reasonable custody decision. Freely moving out and only seeing your children occasionally does not foster credibility that keeping close to your children is your top priority.

    Moving out of the marital home establishes a new status quo that could potentially be transitioned into temporary court orders while the divorce is pending, and then end up in the final decree if the current arrangement appears to be working in the eyes of the court.
    You could be stuck paying far more in child support, but worst of all, receive far less time with your children than you truly deserve -- all because you foolishly left the marital home.

  2. #12
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    That's scary, Andrina.

  3. #13
    Yes cause I am furious! I feel like doin all the wrong things but Iím taking everyoneís advice and decided to give him his things. Now heís saying he doesnít want his stuff heís coming home. Iím not playing those games he just doesnít want to pay

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    You need to seek an attorney to sort the situation out and maybe charging for abandonment of the children (by leaving the house like that). I'm very sorry for what you're going through and totally understand your anger, but you need to act smart and with a divorce lawyer and not do stuff like holding his belonging by force or other impulsive actions. Give him his stuff and call a lawyer. Do it for you and your children.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Within a legal context, spousal abandonment refers to the deliberate abandonment of a spouse without the intention of returning. The abandoning spouse has severed all ties and responsibility to his or her family. He or she has, in effect, walked away from the family and all related financial obligations and support without a good reason. :

    So if he refuses to pay for his responsibilities of support, leaving you to support your children and fend for yourself, he can be criminally charged. So contact a lawyer and at least have it all in writing of date time, what happened. And if there has been no contact from him...you will have a good case started.

  7. #16
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    You should be focused on seeking legal advice for alimony and child support.

    Leave your worthless husband's things be, he isn't worth it!

  8. 05-13-2019, 07:24 AM

  9. #17
    Can anyone give me advice on how to get over the heartache? I didnít see this coming and now Iím jus furious, hurt, confused. I really donít kno what to do. Can Someone who has dealt with a cheating husband tell me how you got thru it

  10. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. He is still responsible for his share of the bills and of course child care. Where is he living? How long has he been gone? Does he see the kids?

    The best approach is to contact an attorney to navigate all the logistics and a therapist to guide you through the process emotionally. Also inform all your close friends and family and people involved with your children.

    Apply immediately for full custody and have your paperwork in order to show schools etc. Let an attorney guide you through the division of assets and financial responsibilities as well as child custody and child support. Don't worry about his stuff, worry about your children.
    Originally Posted by HENDRTAH001
    He not only cheated but is in love with the woman and has left to be with the woman. He left me with all the bills and we have a child together.

  11. #19
    Thanks for responding.. He left this pass Friday and hasnít been back. He is staying with the woman he was cheating with. A lawyer will make him continue to pay bills?

  12. #20
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Check out chumplady.com - great support community for those who have been cheated on. Also, lots of good advice and articles, even a book on how to deal with things emotionally.

    Most definitely get legal advice asap. That's the most critical part. You want a pitbull lawyer to walk you through all the ins and outs of what to do and more importantly, what not to do. This is a situation where getting a grip on emotions and going strictly by rule of law will pay massive dividends for you later on. Think of it more passing up on temporary satisfaction for life long satisfaction.

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