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Thread: Secret Admirer, How Do I Get Beyond This?

  1. #21
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    What I actually think happened was that this guy probably was interested in you, but he didn't know you had a boyfriend. So he tried asking you out but you declined and never made any other date. Then you completely disappeared from the office so he probably just thought you were never interested in him and just completely moved on. He may have been dating other people during the past year and a half. Look, I would say if you're single and he's single and he was into you before, you could give it one more try. I think at the time he probably thought you weren't interested which could also be a reason why he's not that chatty with you now. You could try talking to him more and ask him to catch up for coffee or something. But if he doesn't seem interested in catching up then I'd say just leave it alone.

  2. #22
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    Thank you, Tinydance. I just may do that. However, as I said, I'm shy when it comes to personal matters and I would be stepping out of my comfort zone. I wouldn't know where to begin the conversation. LHGirl and James have given me a couple of good ideas. I just need to find the strength within myself to take the step I guess.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thelonely
    We became friends on Facebook the same day I messaged him. He doesn't seem to be on there all that often.
    Well, facebook is no way to get to know someone in the first place so don't rely on that. Do you know if he is even single? Maybe that's why he wasn't too chatty, because he has someone he's keeping romantic relationship boundaries in place for?

  4. #24

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    If both of you are single then make a way, for me like example i will like and comment on his Facebook everytime he posts something. From coment to comment, you will see how far you can go.

    It is quite hard to get his attention if you shy while he also doesnt make a move. I just believe if a man really in with you, they will brave themselves to make a move. If he doesnt move at all after you try to get his attention, maybe he just not in to us.
    If that is the case, if i were you, i would just express my feeling into story and poet until the feeling gone or meet somebody else. It is great enough to have a chance to admire or love somebody even they ignore us. Love is beautiful feeling. True love for me doesnt need a repayment. True love is when we love somebody and let the one we love be happy with their choice. It is hurtful but there is no guarantee we will make them happy as well.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by UsiFeb
    If both of you are single then make a way, for me like example i will like and comment on his Facebook everytime he posts something. From coment to comment, you will see how far you can go.
    That is a cowards way out IMO. Just ask him if he is single and if he says yes then ask him to join you for coffee. If he is interested in you past being the office attention getter, he will accept.

    For all you know of him at this point, he could be married/otherwise not single or even gay for that matter. I had a male friend at work that acting just like you explain in your opening post. He was totally gay but loved to kabitz like the guy you are crushing on.

  7. #26

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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    That is a cowards way out IMO. Just ask him if he is single and if he says yes then ask him to join you for coffee. If he is interested in you past being the office attention getter, he will accept.

    For all you know of him at this point, he could be married/otherwise not single or even gay for that matter. I had a male friend at work that acting just like you explain in your opening post. He was totally gay but loved to kabitz like the guy you are crushing on.
    The OP said she is shy girl. For shy ppl, i cant imagine she could ask straight question like that. Thats why i suggest about commenting on fb idea. Of course it will be better if she ask directly. Saving time and energy.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by UsiFeb
    The OP said she is shy girl. For shy ppl, i cant imagine she could ask straight question like that. Thats why i suggest about commenting on fb idea. Of course it will be better if she ask directly. Saving time and energy.
    Liking someone's post is not an indication of interest in that person though so any feedback she got from him over her likes would be ambiguous and wouldn't gauge if he is interested in her or she in him for that matter.

    Op: You do what you want but my advice is not to enable your shyness by hiding behind social media. Push yourself beyond your comfort level. That is how we grow.

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