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Ex reached out after 3 weeks! Is this him trying or not


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To summarize the story, it was a very short relationship (approx 2 months). Even though short term, I started to really like him. Then one night he stood me up! I kept calling and texting an he was no where to be found. The very next day, the excuse was lame (said he fell asleep) so I gracefully broke up with him. I take my time very seriously and feel that we teach people how to treat us. It didn’t seem to bother him when I broke up, as he simply just let it go and that was that.

 

I started moving on with my life and now after 3 weeks he has reached out. First he stated he has been wanting to reach out but wasn’t sure how I would react, I basically responded normal and just said hi back. Then he offered to help me fix my car. I told him sure and that I could use the help. And this was this past week. Now I haven’t heard anything since. Was this a ploy to get me to talk to him or is he really interested in entering my life again? What do I do?

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I advise that you cut ties with this person, permanently. There is no mention of any apology or regret on his end as far as his past behavior, which suggests that he views "falling asleep" as an acceptable thing to do when he makes plans with other people. Unless you desire to be in a relationship with someone who believes blowing off other people isn't a problem and is something a person shouldn't feel sorry for, I'd steer clear of this guy.

 

When a person shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

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He was just checking in to see if you're still interested. Continue with NC.

 

It can be confusing because you might still like him but if an ex doesn't make it crystal clear he is contacting you to get back together, don't engage. He's just testing the waters. I'm actually glad you broke up with him because he stood you up, good call. So now he texts you and doesn't even apologize? Nope. He just needed an ego stroke. If he really wants you back, he has to show it.

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Oh not the car thing again lol

I told you in your previous thread that he wasn’t “protecting” you by getting your car serviced. Some guys just enjoy that whereas many girls are glad to have someone do it for them.

 

Ask a relative , friend etc to help with your car. If you can’t or can’t be bothered to do it yourself.

Stop playing the helpless female.

 

His message was simply seeing if you’d be up for a booty call one day.

Your response was a yes.

Expect to hear from him again.

 

In your last thread you said this ...

 

“It’s always better to be alone than to be a doormat.”

 

So why are choosing to be a doormat?????

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It sounds like he was with someone else making excuses about falling asleep. When that didn't work out he contacted you. Don't waste more time on this guy. Don't get caught up in someone's on/off problems or flakiness or complete lack of respect for your time and feelings. Block and delete him.

he stood me up! I kept calling and texting an he was no where to be found. The very next day, the excuse was lame (said he fell asleep)

after 3 weeks he has reached out. Now I haven’t heard anything since.

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"I have officially erased this bozo from my life. At this point, I am no longer looking at it as 1 week no contact, it's just simply me moving on." This was your comment from a month ago. What happened?

 

I know Holly :( I did move on but when he texted me a mix of emotions came flooding through.

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He was just checking in to see if you're still interested. Continue with NC.

 

It can be confusing because you might still like him but if an ex doesn't make it crystal clear he is contacting you to get back together, don't engage. He's just testing the waters. I'm actually glad you broke up with him because he stood you up, good call. So now he texts you and doesn't even apologize? Nope. He just needed an ego stroke. If he really wants you back, he has to show it.

 

Thanks Cope! I agree, it's already been 4 days since our last interaction and nothing from him. I just thought he was playing it safe by taking it slow and not come rushing back into a relationship. I do believe people deserve a second chance, especially if the offense was not the unforgivable! But you are right! He will need to prove it.

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WHy everyone using my own words against me lmao! ok I get it! I talked a big talk. Billie, how am I choosing to be a doormat, I haven't said yes to a relationship with him, I just said yes to accepting his helping me with my car. Those are two different things. And a booty call?? why would I put up with that if I couldn't put up with being stood up?

 

I just thought he was taking the slow approach of getting me back!

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It sounds like he was with someone else making excuses about falling asleep. When that didn't work out he contacted you. Don't waste more time on this guy. Don't get caught up in someone's on/off problems or flakiness or complete lack of respect for your time and feelings. Block and delete him.

 

Hey WIseman I think you are right! being completely silent for almost a month (after he eff'ed up) can only mean he had someone there to keep him busy. THanks for opening my eyes with this one. I don't have the guts to block him but I don't think I want to be romantic with him again! You guys are helping me see@>thanks I will just leave it to GOd and pray if he isn't for me to keep him away.

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I know Holly :( I did move on but when he texted me a mix of emotions came flooding through.

 

Why haven't you blocked him? You only dated two months, and he stood you up. Why would you waste any time on this guy? He has shown you who he is. Repeatedly.

 

Get smarter in dating and people's actions. Why would it take "guts" to block?

 

This is why you repeatedly choose bad people. You keep the door open when they have shown you that they are not relationship material. You need to show yourself, and others, that you respect yourself. Currently, you are not. That is on you.

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To summarize the story, it was a very short relationship (approx 2 months). Even though short term, I started to really like him. Then one night he stood me up! I kept calling and texting an he was no where to be found. The very next day, the excuse was lame (said he fell asleep) so I gracefully broke up with him. I take my time very seriously and feel that we teach people how to treat us. It didn’t seem to bother him when I broke up, as he simply just let it go and that was that.

 

I started moving on with my life and now after 3 weeks he has reached out. First he stated he has been wanting to reach out but wasn’t sure how I would react, I basically responded normal and just said hi back. Then he offered to help me fix my car. I told him sure and that I could use the help. And this was this past week. Now I haven’t heard anything since. Was this a ploy to get me to talk to him or is he really interested in entering my life again? What do I do?

He's a flake and it doesn't matter what his motives are. Your personal boundaries and sense of emotional survival should guide you to block and delete him. You know that, so just do it. Surely you know that Good people don't act like he does. (falling asleep and not calling right away once he woke up to apologize and reschedule.) He's looking to see if you are open to booty and by answering him, you told him you don't have the boundaries in place to tell him "no" to that.

 

He has now shelved you for future hook ups when he has nothing else going on. You need to learn how to read a player when you come across one or you are going to end up shredding your own heart by not paying attention to actions.

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He's a flake and it doesn't matter what his motives are. Your personal boundaries and sense of emotional survival should guide you to block and delete him. You know that, so just do it. Surely you know that Good people don't act like he does. (falling asleep and not calling right away once he woke up to apologize and reschedule.) He's looking to see if you are open to booty and by answering him, you told him you don't have the boundaries in place to tell him "no" to that.

 

He has now shelved you for future hook ups when he has nothing else going on. You need to learn how to read a player when you come across one or you are going to end up shredding your own heart by not paying attention to actions.

 

Spot on.....

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WHy everyone using my own words against me lmao! ok I get it! I talked a big talk. Billie, how am I choosing to be a doormat, I haven't said yes to a relationship with him, I just said yes to accepting his helping me with my car. Those are two different things. And a booty call?? why would I put up with that if I couldn't put up with being stood up?

 

I just thought he was taking the slow approach of getting me back!

 

No one is "using" your words "against" you. Why would you view what you wrote previously as a threat or a weapon? These are things YOU wrote, so please understand that no one had any reason to believe or suspect you didn't really mean them.

 

He offered to fix your car. Who knows why. One thing he DOES know for sure is that you appear eager to hear from him and to spend time with him.

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