He said I had my chance

I was dating a guy for about 3months. We hit it off right from the start! We got along so well & even till this day, well i thought so. A few weeks after we first started dating I ended it because of a situation I was going thru. I didn’t wanna bring him into my problems. So I told him we should remain friend he then blocked me on social media & deleted my number because he said he really liked me & didn’t wanna be tempted to reach out. I didn’t think he had liked me much already. But now I feel like a total idiot. I had reached out a few weeks after the first time & we talked for a bit. Then a week or 2 later I asked him to hang out & he agreed! It went great! We then continued to talk again everyday! I started to really fall for him this time around even more. I really liked him. I was concerned cos he ghosted me for like 3 days he ghosted me, I called to see if everything was okay & he said yes then we continued to talk then a week later he invited me to San Diego! We had a blast but as we came back from our trip he started being super distant. He then asked me to hangout, it went great until 2 days after he ghosted me again & he didn’t say anything until a week later I asked him why he had been acting different w/ me he said I had my chance but I decided to cut him off. He can’t move on from that first time I ended things his mindset won’t get passed it no matter how much I tried to explain. I feel hopeless now & I miss him so much. I wanted to work things out really bad but now he doesn’t but want to. I guess I really messed up my chances..He said he doesn’t wanna end off on bad terms. But Idk what to do, is there any chance he’ll come back? I hope so. Or did I really blow it. 😓

Mariela, the best thing for you to do right now is to move on from this situation. It will be for your own peace of mind.

He already told you he doesn't want to work things out.

I know you are hurt, but punishing yourself is not a solution. Learn from this experience, it happens. You are not alone

I agree. If he told you that he doesn’t want to work things out, you should leave it alone and give him space

Hi Mariela, whatever you do please don't make yourself smaller to fit in your own idea of what you think he wants right now.

You can only offer yourself, the best version of yourself, strive for that! One more thing you can do is express your feelings towards him, but without pushing them on him.

Everything else is his job: he can choose to see the beauty in you and get closer, maybe gradually. Or he can choose to distance himself.

Be kind to him and show positive attitude, while working on your own life and finding pleasure in little things. Small things lead to bigger things and that's how you grow, and that's also how you grow out of the physical dependency you have on him at the moment.

It's quite surprising how most of the people in this forum try to give advice to end things rather than trying to make things work!

Maybe the guy is oversensitive & really got hurt the first time you left him... & in the meanwhile he has started dating somebody else, maybe.

Try to do something to make him understand how much he means to you & also prove him that you're really sorry! Try several times, then if it doesn't work then move on

It's quite surprising how most of the people in this forum try to give advice to end things rather than trying to make things work!

Maybe the guy is oversensitive & really got hurt the first time you left him... & in the meanwhile he has started dating somebody else, maybe.

Try to do something to make him understand how much he means to you & also prove him that you're really sorry! Try several times, then if it doesn't work then move on

She has done everything possible. Why would she continue to pursue someone who told her that he cannot move on from the initial break.

It's quite surprising how most of the people in this forum try to give advice to end things rather than trying to make things work!

Maybe the guy is oversensitive & really got hurt the first time you left him... & in the meanwhile he has started dating somebody else, maybe.

Try to do something to make him understand how much he means to you & also prove him that you're really sorry! Try several times, then if it doesn't work then move on

Why should she beg this guy for a second chance? Not every relationship is meant to work out positiviely. She should leave him be and move on. He's made himself clear.

It's quite surprising how most of the people in this forum try to give advice to end things rather than trying to make things work!

Maybe the guy is oversensitive & really got hurt the first time you left him... & in the meanwhile he has started dating somebody else, maybe.

Try to do something to make him understand how much he means to you & also prove him that you're really sorry! Try several times, then if it doesn't work then move on

Maybe, maybe, maybe. Why would she chase after someone who has clearly shown that he no longer has interest?

Ocean, It is best to follow people's actions. If something is one-sided, it is not working.

You can't make someone do anything they don't want to or aren't ready to do.

For now it seems the best thing to do is just live your life and rely on the universe (God or fate or call it whatever you want to call it) to work things out for you, if it's meant to be it will be, if not this guy you'll definitely meet someone better.

Honestly, there isn't anything you can do. He knows how you feel. If he wants to come back, he will, and usually they always do, the thing you have to focus on is that if he does, what will you do? Do you really want a guy that dumped you because he couldn't get over the fact that you broke up with him? Did he just do that out of ego? Got you back just in order to dump you first?

I don't have any answers, I'm just saying you have to prepare yourself for what to do if he really comes back. Figure it out just to be ready, don't obsess over it, don't focus on it happening, just figure out what you really want, because you don't want to be taking him back just because you have feelings for him and you miss him.

I had asked him why he still invited me to the SD trip or why he didn’t say from the start. But he says he did nothing wrong that I had my chance & it doesn’t feel the same anymore. He seems to not care about whatever I say anymore so I feel as if he did it maybe to just get back at me.. it really sucks but I have no other choice but to move on I guess. Thank you all for your comments I appreciate it. 🙏

I had asked him why he still invited me to the SD trip or why he didn’t say from the start. But he says he did nothing wrong that I had my chance & it doesn’t feel the same anymore. He seems to not care about whatever I say anymore so I feel as if he did it maybe to just get back at me.. it really sucks but I have no other choice but to move on I guess. Thank you all for your comments I appreciate it. 🙏

Ah, I'm sorry it turned out this way, but you dodged a bullet! You'll get over this too!

So I told him we should remain friend he then blocked me ...

This was the most appropriate thing for him to do, seeing as you decided to break it off.

I was concerned cos he ghosted me for like 3 days he ghosted me,

3 days break in communication is not ghosting. maybe he was just busy.

I asked him why he had been acting different w/ me he said I had my chance... is there any chance he’ll come back? I hope so. Or did I really blow it. 😓

No one here can say, but try some direct communication. Tell him you know you blew it, you are sorry, and if he rethinks things to give you a call.

Then leave him alone for a while.

Do you really want a guy that dumped you [REFUSED TO REVISIT AFTER BEING DUMPED BY OP] because he couldn't get over the fact that you broke up with [i.e. DUMPED] him?

Slightly different wording suggested but to the same effect.

That was what I was thinking - whether intentionally or not, Mr Ex has turned the dumping on its head here, and got the power back.

Perhaps the mods should sticky this topic. It seems to be an excellent example of how saying no to a dumper's proffered friendship, and going no contact, is a good idea on several levels.

Unfortunately when you broke up with him, he saw it as an opportunity to turn this into a more casual, fwb type situation. It would be best after dating only a few mos to reconsider this and end things. He does not want to maintain a relationship type of connection.

he invited me to San Diego! We had a blast but as we came back from our trip he started being super distant. He then asked me to hangout, it went great until 2 days after he ghosted me again & he didn’t say anything until a week later I asked him why he had been acting different w/ me he said I had my chance but I decided to cut him off.

It's quite surprising how most of the people in this forum try to give advice to end things rather than trying to make things work!

Maybe the guy is oversensitive & really got hurt the first time you left him... & in the meanwhile he has started dating somebody else, maybe.

Try to do something to make him understand how much he means to you & also prove him that you're really sorry! Try several times, then if it doesn't work then move on

This isn’t marriage we are talking about!

It’s a 12 week “relationship” that was on / off but mostly off.

People date to see if there is compatibility for a long term relationship. And communication is a major part of that.

Within the honeymoon phase, if there are serious communication issues , then a long term relationship is not possible.

There should not be any effort required in the honeymoon phase.

The effort comes after that .

Luckily for the op , the guy in question realises that!

He's done nothing wrong OP. You dumped him, he decided he wanted to stay out. That is all there is to this. Try and learn from this.