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Thread: Need advice!

  1. #1
    Member
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    May 2019
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    Need advice!

    So basically I moved to another state this year for my dad’s job and took a year off to play junior hockey in hopes of playing college hockey the next year. Over this year, I met the girl of my dreams. She is everything I have ever wanted in a girl, and it seems like we are perfect for each other and exactly what we want. I actually met her through hockey. Her brother is on one of the younger teams in our organization and I met her through her being around the rink. I never actually new her brother before this or spoken to him. Everything was going very well at first, but the last month or so of this “thing” have been bumpy to say the least. For starters, my dad’s job did not work out here and we are actually moving back to where we lived before, which is very far away. We agreed to at least keep seeing each other until I leave, and I said she could come visit if she wanted for as long as she wanted (we are living on a beach house in a place she’s never been so she was actually very excited about that idea).

    Problem 2: college. She is actually going to be a junior in college next year, while I will be a freshman. She has said that she does not want to ruin my freshman year and that if I was a sophomore she thinks she would feel better about it. I assured her that would not really be a problem as I have grown out of that stage of my life of chasing girls like an idiot, and also the colleges are not far from each other really, about a 2 hour drive (for reference we already live an hour apart). We actually have thought of a very good idea. We are not going to commit to anything yet, then a few weeks into college we can make the decision of where we want this to go. We will not be exclusive, although she said she would not mess around with any guys or anything because thats kinda who she is, but she said I could if I wanted to (I dont really). Seems like a good no pressure situation to me and if it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t and we just stay friends.

    Problem 3: Her parents do not really approve of the relationship. The thing is, her parents actually really like me a lot and when she talked to her parents about our relationship she said they had nothing bad to say about me at all. Their problem with it is they see it as disrespectful to her brother because of our connection through hockey and that we are “on the same team” and that hockey is his thing and she should not be a part of it. There was also an incident with rumors spreading around between hockey dads that I wanted to have sex with his daughters and that I was talking about it in the locker room (basically) and this got back to her dad. The thing is though, this is 1. Untrue because I never mention it in the locker room ESPECIALLY if her brother is there and 2. Just extremely childish and a stupid thing to say. So I kind of understand that, but I was never on his team and all of these things are just stupid rumors. I have never actually spoken a single word to him this year until I started talking to his sister. I also wont be part of his organization next year because I am playing in college. Even he has said that he does not care about us talking to his sister, although he could be lying I guess. And when she brought up the going to visit him in boston thing, her parents were not huge fans of that because we are not even dating (they are a very traditional catholic family- side note I am catholic too so extra brownie points!). Her parents also track where she goes so seeing me right now might be difficult, we would have to be really secretive about it and I do not think she wants to do that and Im not sure I want to be the reason she is sneaking around behind her parents back.

    So those are the problems. We may not be able to see each other in person for several months, and we are both nervous that the flame would die out. On the other hand, a few months away might be a good thing. Might let everything die down and if it goes anywhere next year, the problem with her parents would probably have died down. But I also feel like I am holding her back a bit. I feel bad that she is waiting around for me to do something. Guys hit on her all the time because she is really pretty (although she does not agree with that she actually cant see that she is pretty at all) and I would feel bad if she was holding off on them because of the possibility of a relationship with me. She even asked me the other night what I saw in her because she really cannot understand why I am so persistent on making this work with her. I basically said there is no one out there like you and she said that feeling was mutual.

    So, what should I do? Is this just a completely lost cause? If these problems did not exist we would already be dating, but they do. My thoughts now are to not make any commitments and see where it goes, but any suggestions would be helpful.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yes lay low for a while and see where things go.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I think you should just let it all fade. You are going to want to be a single in college and while travelling for hockey so don't pin yourself down to this one girl at this time in your life. Believe me, you are going to meet a whole lot more chicks during your college/hockey years so don't keep trying with someone wherein there is all of those hurdles in the way.


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