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Thread: My Sister Took Back Invitation to Her Wedding- Should I Be Upset?

  1. #1
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    My Sister Took Back Invitation to Her Wedding- Should I Be Upset?

    My sister and I have been close for most of our lives. We've almost always been there for each other through the good and tough times.

    My sister, who lives in CO, recently got back together with a guy she was broken up with for the last 4 months and now they are getting married. She originally said she was going to have a small wedding and invited me and my parents to be a part of the special occasion. Now, all of a sudden, she has changed her mind and sent an email to us saying she wants a private ceremony with just herself and the groom and later will have a small reception with family who is local....but not including us or family who live out of state (mainly in CA). She claims her reasons are because they feeling too stressed to deal with people attending their wedding and coordinating the logistics for what that would entail.

    I feel a bit hurt and confused that my sister would change her mind to invite us to her wedding ceremony (also this is her 2nd wedding). Should I confront my sister with my feelings or just accept my sister's wishes?

  2. #2
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    Ultimately, it is her decision.

    If her and the bf want to have a private ceremony, then that is fine, what would hurt me, is not being invited to the reception. I do not understand her thinking when it comes to only inviting folks from the CO area. That is hurtful.

    You should share your feelings...

  3. #3
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    Did any of you guys talk smack about him in the 4 months that they were broken up? The messenger generally gets shot even when it's well-intended. To me, I don't believe her surface reason as to the why. This sounds like a deliberate exclusion of your family. I would be annoyed and on the lookout for the sister to withdraw in other ways in case the guy is controlling.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Honestly, it seems fair.

    Weddings can be extremely stressful and if her relationship was already rocky, I imagine they want the least amount of stress right now.

    It's nothing personal to you at all. In fact, you'd be making her feel a whole lot better if you supported her and tried to understand instead of making it about you and laying a guilt trip.

  5. #5
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    Are you happy for her to marry this guy?

  6. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    What's the big deal? The reception is basically a dinner together. You can still do that when you and they are in the same city again and you can welcome him to the family then.

    I don't see the point in these extra dramatics.

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    I respect her choice but they do have a bit of a strange history. They were in a relationship for a year and a half and then all of a sudden broke up in Jan for 4 months. Then in April, he appeared out of no where and wanted my sister back, even though my sister was with someone new. She immediately broke up with her new bf and took back her old bf, whom she is now going to marry.

    I ddi express my concern for the quick marriage but I also expressed my support.

  8. #8
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Are you happy for her to marry this guy?
    I respect her choice but they do have a bit of a strange history. They were in a relationship for a year and a half and then all of a sudden broke up in Jan for 4 months. Then in April, he appeared out of no where and wanted my sister back, even though my sister was with someone new. She immediately broke up with her new bf and took back her old bf, whom she is now going to marry.

    I ddi express my concern for the quick marriage but I also expressed my support.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It's your sisters mistake to make, even if it does seem odd, it is totally up to her.

    Try to concentrate on having a nice dinner with them once they are married and you can welcome him then into the family.

    But from what you described, she sounds nervous about it all and perhaps would rather keep it low key in case it doesn't work out.

    Again, not the best choices by the sounds of it, but it is up to her. It definitely isn't personal to you though.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    No, don't confront your sister with your feelings. Accept your sister's wishes and respect her decision.

    Give her lots of time and space. She has her reasons despite your not understanding them. It's her life and her way.

    The next time you get together in person, just be kind and let it go. No sense stirring up drama and trouble. Be the bigger person, take the higher road and show respect no matter what. Keep the peace at all costs.

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