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Thread: Why am i always angry at my boyfriend?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by Billie28

    He sounds funny to me!
    The welcome back comment made me laugh so much!!! He can make light of situations which you clearly struggle to.


    He actually is a good guy and takes commitment seriously I feel.
    His comment “welcome back” is actually him thinking he would never be there saying it again. Because when he got married he meant it.

    He is a keeper and you need to respect the fact that he got burnt standing up telling all his friends and family that he was going to stay by this women’s side for better or for worse. It didn’t happen.

    You are ignoring his feelings and if you actually want to marry him, then you need to accept his past and have a simple registry marriage.
    If you want the bells and whistles , this is not your guy.

    Can you give me his number? If you don’t want him? Lol
    Thanks for posting this Billie; pretty much confirms my point about different natures and compatibility.

    Clearly, Billie has zero issue with any of this, quite the opposite! And therefore would be compatible with him.

    Which is OK, no wrong or right, there is someone for everyone.

    Problem is OP, your nature is completely different from his, you don't "get" him, his motivations or sense of humor, etc nor does he "get" you.

    It's just not gonna work, end it and look for someone with a more compatible nature.

    Like attracts like.

  2. #12
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Both of your values are vastly different. He's not for you.

    He's been burned before with his ex-wife. Therefore, he's not excited nor enthusiastic regarding the institution of marriage. He's wary of marriage. He's playing it safe to the point of getting cold feet and has a rather cynical, sarcastic viewpoint regarding marriage. You have to deal with his baggage.

    You can't force, control nor try to change his viewpoints regarding marriage and his previous negative experiences of marriage and his ex-wife.

    Both of you are incompatible. He works too much which you don't like because this means less time with you. He drinks a HEAP which makes you angry and it would make me angry, too! He snores. How do you expect to sleep next to a train crash every night?

    It's draining because you know he's not for you and your future with him looks abysmal. Listen to that little voice inside you and part ways. Be realistic and practical when it comes to all relationships.

  3. #13
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    You are not compatible. He's bitter and angry and has no desire to embark on anything serious. He would rather play video games and have one too many before engaging in a healthy relationship with you. There are always "other things to do" or other priorities, and you are on the bottom of that list more often than not.

    Move on.

    You are in love with a fantasy and the idea that you, and being with you, will make him change his mind and change his ways. This could happen, someday, but it's not happening with you, and it's not happening now. You are not *it*.

    You can't change him.

    You are angry and jealous and resentful because this guy isn't meeting your needs or expectations, and he doesn't find you important enough to actively make changes and address his demons.

    Sometimes you just have to toss them back into the pond, no matter how much you love them or how much it hurts. This guy is a bitter, wounded nightmare who is incapable of being the the man you deserve and desire.

    It's time to let this one go.

  4. #14
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    This feeling you have will not pass and will only get worse in time.

    Do you want keep living this way? for how much longer?

  5.  

  6. #15

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    Thanks everyone for the comments.

    He blames his ex for everything. For the first year we were together he wouldn't shut up about it. I did feel for him - I tried to validate and support him while he was getting his life back together after debt etc. I paid for everything where i could. I left my job and moved cities with him so he could study and reinvent himself.
    He's also said that he's 'done' doing what the woman wants because he's made that mistake before. I feel i will need to accept everything without compromise ever, including moving to another town.
    I think he would end it with me if I didn't want to go. But fair enough right? I mean if that's what he wants let's not have a relationship stand in his way.

    He's not happy to marry me. He thinks ill cheat on him after having kids and then he will kill himself.

    After his welcome back comment I said he should just use the same speech to save time. We're just hilarious. But a speech is just a speech right and Love is just a whole lot of neurons firing off in the brain.
    His speech would sound something like..
    'welcome back guys Don't worry I've told her that if she cheats on me like the last one I'll go and kill myself'. Ive also told her if we won lottery I'd give it all to my parents so she cant take half of it at the end. Thanks everyone for coming. I'll see you all in round three. In about 10 years time"


    I guess I'm still here because I do love him and gave tried my hardest to accept him.
    Last edited by Zarasara; 05-11-2019 at 10:06 PM.

  7. #16
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    Bad relationship. Don't understand why you stay with someone you have to convince to have a future with you? This guy has told you he does not want a future with you, and now it is a some day (string along). Girl, end this farce. You are wasting precious years.

    " For the first year we were together he wouldn't shut up about it. I did feel for him - I tried to validate and support him while he was getting his life back together after debt etc. I paid for everything where i could. I left my job and moved cities with him so he could study and reinvent himself." Do not ever do this for someone again.

    "He's not happy to marry me. He thinks ill cheat on him after having kids and then he will kill himself." Why would you stick around for this? Don't get it
    Last edited by Hollyj; 05-11-2019 at 10:55 PM.

  8. #17
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    "I guess I'm still here because I do love him and gave tried my hardest to accept him." Too bad you do not love yourself.

  9. #18
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    I actually don't think you truly love him; you can't love someone until you love yourself first, which I am sorry but you clearly don't.

    No woman who loved and respected herself would ever stick around for what he's offering which is essentially nothing.

    You need him, to feel validated and accepted yourself, and when he didn't provide that, you tried harder and harder to get it.

    Hell you're still trying! Telling yourself stories to justify staying.

    That's not love dear. It's need and a very unhealthy and detrimental one.

  10. #19
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    The answer you seek, is in your first sentence.

    I'm a very sensitive person and my boyfriend isn't.

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