Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Will be back to town ...EX ??

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    19

    Will be back to town ...EX ??

    Hello, please help me sort out this situation .

    We were dating long-distance with my ex ( he's 30 and I'm 26) for nearly 3 years when he quietly disappeared after a conversation we had where I playfully told him that I didn't care if he were to leave for another woman . I've always had a pattern of playing it cool with him because I've been scared of showing vulnerability .
    After that day though, we've been broken up for 10 months since he never really said anything but quietly disappeared. He's an avoidant who despises conflicts .
    I didn't pursue him but made sure rumors got to him that I had someone else, only to hurt him the way he hurted me . Two months ago though we got back in touch and he apologised for the way he went off the radar. I asked him some help with a project when I'll be back to my country and he showed enthusiasm and support, even making inside jokes. We only exchanged mails, no calls or messages.

    Knowing he's also single, I confessed after that I still loved him and told him all the truth about having been single for the past months but also lashed out at him, telling how he broke my heart . I also told him if he still didn't say anything, I'd consider it a no.
    He never responded to my email.

    In 3 months I'll be back in my country for good. Should I let him know I'm back or just leave things this way ?
    I can't help but feel like there's an "unfinished business".
    Thanks a lot and sorry if there are mistakes, I'm a french speaker .

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    19,759
    Nothing like games and a bunch of nonsense. You both have terrible communication issues.

    Why would you want to return to someone who is "avoidant?" That makes no sense. He also never responded to your email.

    Grow up. Your games are not healthy. Deal with your trust issues.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 05-10-2019 at 12:20 PM.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    925
    Gender
    Female
    You shouldn't have to worry about playful banter when you're with a significant other. He doesn't read as someone invested in you from the beginning (he is not as interested in you as you would like to think). This relationship is lukewarm and that never bodes well over time. The chemistry is completely wrong. Please don't take this the wrong way - you are not a terrible person and I don't think he is either. You both are just not on the same wavelength at all.

    You've done enough, in my opinion. Stop reaching out to someone who isn't that interested in pursuing a stable or serious relationship with you. Don't lash out or hurt him. It'll just come back to you and you'll end up hurting yourself. This is a quiet rejection and he's quietly (through no response) made it clear that he is not interested. Accept that and be at peace. There's much more to life than this.

  4. #4
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    423
    Gender
    Male
    Duplicate thread.

    [Register to see the link]

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    19
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    You shouldn't have to worry about playful banter when you're with a significant other. He doesn't read as someone invested in you from the beginning (he is not as interested in you as you would like to think). This relationship is lukewarm and that never bodes well over time. The chemistry is completely wrong. Please don't take this the wrong way - you are not a terrible person and I don't think he is either. You both are just not on the same wavelength at all.

    You've done enough, in my opinion. Stop reaching out to someone who isn't that interested in pursuing a stable or serious relationship with you. Don't lash out or hurt him. It'll just come back to you and you'll end up hurting yourself. This is a quiet rejection and he's quietly (through no response) made it clear that he is not interested. Accept that and be at peace. There's much more to life than this.
    He was completely head over heels for me from the beginning and throughout the relationship, that I can certify. We had chemistry. Just that he was never really able to handle conflicts. Coupled to distance you can guess the rest. And I think that's why I still wnated to tell him I was there because I felt like we never really discussed things for at least get closure.

    Anyway, quiet rejection, I get it.

    Thank you.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •