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Will be back to town ...EX ??


Lovomatic

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Hello, please help me sort out this situation .

 

We were dating long-distance with my ex ( he's 30 and I'm 26) for nearly 3 years when he quietly disappeared after a conversation we had where I playfully told him that I didn't care if he were to leave for another woman . I've always had a pattern of playing it cool with him because I've been scared of showing vulnerability .

After that day though, we've been broken up for 10 months since he never really said anything but quietly disappeared. He's an avoidant who despises conflicts .

I didn't pursue him but made sure rumors got to him that I had someone else, only to hurt him the way he hurted me . Two months ago though we got back in touch and he apologised for the way he went off the radar. I asked him some help with a project when I'll be back to my country and he showed enthusiasm and support, even making inside jokes. We only exchanged mails, no calls or messages.

 

Knowing he's also single, I confessed after that I still loved him and told him all the truth about having been single for the past months but also lashed out at him, telling how he broke my heart . I also told him if he still didn't say anything, I'd consider it a no.

He never responded to my email.

 

In 3 months I'll be back in my country for good. Should I let him know I'm back or just leave things this way ?

I can't help but feel like there's an "unfinished business".

Thanks a lot and sorry if there are mistakes, I'm a french speaker .

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Nothing like games and a bunch of nonsense. You both have terrible communication issues.

 

Why would you want to return to someone who is "avoidant?" That makes no sense. He also never responded to your email.

 

Grow up. Your games are not healthy. Deal with your trust issues.

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You shouldn't have to worry about playful banter when you're with a significant other. He doesn't read as someone invested in you from the beginning (he is not as interested in you as you would like to think). This relationship is lukewarm and that never bodes well over time. The chemistry is completely wrong. Please don't take this the wrong way - you are not a terrible person and I don't think he is either. You both are just not on the same wavelength at all.

 

You've done enough, in my opinion. Stop reaching out to someone who isn't that interested in pursuing a stable or serious relationship with you. Don't lash out or hurt him. It'll just come back to you and you'll end up hurting yourself. This is a quiet rejection and he's quietly (through no response) made it clear that he is not interested. Accept that and be at peace. There's much more to life than this.

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You shouldn't have to worry about playful banter when you're with a significant other. He doesn't read as someone invested in you from the beginning (he is not as interested in you as you would like to think). This relationship is lukewarm and that never bodes well over time. The chemistry is completely wrong. Please don't take this the wrong way - you are not a terrible person and I don't think he is either. You both are just not on the same wavelength at all.

 

You've done enough, in my opinion. Stop reaching out to someone who isn't that interested in pursuing a stable or serious relationship with you. Don't lash out or hurt him. It'll just come back to you and you'll end up hurting yourself. This is a quiet rejection and he's quietly (through no response) made it clear that he is not interested. Accept that and be at peace. There's much more to life than this.

 

He was completely head over heels for me from the beginning and throughout the relationship, that I can certify. We had chemistry. Just that he was never really able to handle conflicts. Coupled to distance you can guess the rest. And I think that's why I still wnated to tell him I was there because I felt like we never really discussed things for at least get closure.

 

Anyway, quiet rejection, I get it.

 

Thank you.

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