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My ex/ child’s father is toxic


Oddkneko

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My ex got into a relationship a day or two after we broke up with a girl I caught him talking with many times. He doesn’t do anything with our son anymore all he seems to care about is this woman.

 

Well recently they broke up he came begging to see our son. Told me that she ran him over with her car broke his leg he’s obsessing over her and I find it annoying for him to come talking to me about it because I never got any closure from our relationship he literally blocked my number never really spoke about it again.

 

He told me a few things I’ve always questioned, why come telling your problems to the ex you mistreated and did nothing for about the girl who is clearly using you and doesn’t care about your well being. The world is so backwards to me it’s like people have more love and respect for the people who treat them like complete then when things get tough they come running to the one they treated like a rats ass expecting some kind of uplifting pat on the back or something.

 

I’m beyond fed up with him it’s been nearly two years. Wish he would disappear out of my life ?

 

He’s also a mommas boy so it’s like I can’t just talk to him I’m either speaking to his mother or the other ex girlfriend. I was with him for awhile, I clearly wasn’t the girl for him he was never as crazy about me as he is for the new younger girl. When I ignore him leave him be him and his mom both find people who might know where I am and use them to tell me to contact them. I’m fed up with this mother and son. Tired of my sons dad.

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Sorry you're going through this. At the very real risk of sounding trite, I'd just suggest you limit your contact with him and encourage conversations only having to do with your son. Don't respond to any other contact from others regarding him or any contact from his mother in law unless it involves arranging pick ups or drop offs or your son's wellbeing. I feel like you're mentally and emotionally exhausted. When we feel that way it's not always easy to make the right decisions. Take a day to let your mind breathe for a second and come back to this refreshed. You should be making better decisions for your mental and emotional health for the welfare of yourself and your son.

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Why would you listen? Why didn't you shut it down? I do not understand!

 

You should be more concerned as to why he disappeared from you SON'S life, and not yours. I can't believe you are still pining for this guy after the ways he treated you and your child.

 

All you should be concerned about is if he is providing child support, none of this other nonsense. You are a part of the problem.

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I'd have zero contact except through text, and my only response would be, "When are you picking up son?" or "When are you dropping off son?" Period.

 

If he were to try to speak to me about anything other than son during his drop offs or pick ups, I'd say, "Son of mine's father, if you don't want me to laugh at the irony, don't tell me your GF problems. Take it to a therapist, we're done."

 

That is all.

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For the sake of your own and your child's sanity and safety, make sure you have strict supervised visitation orders in place as well as regular child support for your child. Communicate only through courts, attorneys and social workers.

 

You do not need a relationship with him. He does have to support his child. He does not have to see his child if he doesn't want to. However if he does petition for visitation do not do this on an ad hoc or whimsical basis. Considering whatever atrocious stories he is telling you of violence etc, never let him see the child without supervision. Block and delete him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps. Get a restraining order if you need to. Stop worrying about his ridiculous dating life and start focusing on what's best for your child.

Well recently they broke up he came begging to see our son. Told me that she ran him over with her car broke his leg

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