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Thread: Feeling less and just want to hear from you guys....

  1. #1
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    Feeling less and just want to hear from you guys....

    Long story short-

    My ex and I been together for 5 years and last Saturday we got in a fight about something so stupid. After talking she said she's done. She doesn't see herself marrying me and she needed to be single to find and love herself. This is such a big shocker for me.

    Today after work, she will be packing her stuff and leaving out apt that we have a lease together. I accepted and didn't begged her or ask her to stay. I love her to death and hoping we can reconcile down the road if we cross path again.

    It'll be hard coming to an apt we shared for 3 years and her not being there. Time to go NC and better myself. I hope she can do the same and if we do end up together. It'll be much better.

    It's just funny that she wanted this break up yet she still want a relationship and not leaving/losing me for good. Reality is slowly kicking in :(

  2. #2
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    If you did in fact get into a fight over something "so stupid", then trust me, the fight wasn't about that. She's been thinking about leaving for awhile. What aren't you telling us?

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    No you are right, its something much deeper than the stupid fight. We passed the honeymon phase. We never talked or worked out the red flags until it's too late. We got so caught with work- I'm at amazon and she's Microsoft. We got too comfortable and stopped doing things we wanted to and loved to do together.

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    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    If that's the case, and you are able to recognize these things now, then you will remember them for the future. Be kind to yourself and post on here if you need.

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    For sure, I was happy that we see eyes to eyes regarding these issues and not be in denial. I know actions speak louder than words. I can wait to be better for the future whether its with her or someone else. It's just so hard because its so fresh and about to see her pack up her stuff and leave our apt.

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    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xplorationgt
    No you are right, its something much deeper than the stupid fight. We passed the honeymon phase. We never talked or worked out the red flags until it's too late. We got so caught with work- I'm at amazon and she's Microsoft. We got too comfortable and stopped doing things we wanted to and loved to do together.
    There is a valuable lesson to be learned from this. In the future, don't allow yourself to fall into this state. The honeymoon can't last forever but afterwards if you truly love and enjoy the company of your partner, cherish that. Prioritize it. Don't become a mindless drone.

    I'm sorry you're hurting, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you know how to tackle this. Stay distracted and learn something that will benefit your future relationships, whether that's a second chance or someone new.

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    Originally Posted by LikeWater
    There is a valuable lesson to be learned from this. In the future, don't allow yourself to fall into this state. The honeymoon can't last forever but afterwards if you truly love and enjoy the company of your partner, cherish that. Prioritize it. Don't become a mindless drone.

    I'm sorry you're hurting, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you know how to tackle this. Stay distracted and learn something that will benefit your future relationships, whether that's a second chance or someone new.
    Thank you so much for your support. You guys are truly amazing and without you guys, this site wouldn't be what it is.

    When we talked about the red flags and issues, it was such a relieved and I felt like i was revived to that awesome guy i was instead of a mindless drone. Sad to say, it's a little too late.

    Just a little scare that I might lose her for good. :/

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Just remember, NC is for moving on and not for reconciling. All of this talk of wanting to better yourself sounds a bit too much like the online gurus who sell "guaranteed" strategies to get your ex back. I agree with the poster who mentioned that she likely has been considering breaking up for some time. People don't end 5 year relationships over one argument. I'm not suggesting that you contact her to try to win her over, but don't get stuck and obsessed about using NC to make her miss you if you can help it. I'm sorry for your loss.

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    Originally Posted by SGH
    Just remember, NC is for moving on and not for reconciling. All of this talk of wanting to better yourself sounds a bit too much like the online gurus who sell "guaranteed" strategies to get your ex back. I agree with the poster who mentioned that she likely has been considering breaking up for some time. People don't end 5 year relationships over one argument. I'm not suggesting that you try to win her over, but don't get stuck and obsessed over reconciling if you can help it. I'm sorry for your loss.
    I'm honestly not expecting anything after this breakup. What I mean by being better is not to make the same mistakes that I did whether if we get back together or for the next relationship. once I go NC is just to better myself to move on and not to reconcile.
    Last edited by xplorationgt; 05-09-2019 at 05:35 PM.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Who wants to get married? Her or you? Hasn't she broken up and moved out back home to her parents a few times before? Have you ever gotten to the bottom of the real issues?

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