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Thread: Intimacy issues - not his fault

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Nickel Speed
    Are you sure the sex is the only thing bothering you? He sounds willing to try whatever he can in the bedroom.

    If he's getting professional help and you leave him for a medical issues he has no control over, well.. I feel sorry for the man. It's just one part of his body.
    I don't think the issue is whether it's just a medical issue. I know of men who wouldn't marry a woman who wasn't fertile or couldn't have a child anymore. For example. And she has no control over it. It depends also what the issue is and when the person knew about it. Certainly a person can leave a person romantically and stay with them in other ways -friends or other support.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    I don't know if his doctor has talked to him about injections. I feel like that must be really humiliating for him, though. He told me once that the doctor offered him pills to assist with bloodflow, like as a sample, but my bf didn't take them and he hasn't mentioned them since, and I don't want to hurt his feelings by asking about it. The thing he wanted to try to assist, it's some sort of chair that, like, helps stimulate the prostate or something like that, but the urologist told him that it's a multi-treatment process, it's expensive, and that he wouldn't recommend he spend the money on it because it's not really helpful for youthful men anyway. His urologist recommended B-12 shots and exercising.


    It's funny because in my early 20s, all I could think about was sex and why I wasn't getting enough of it. In my late 20s, now I just want someone to get along with, someone that can support himself but makes room in his life for me, and someone that I can continue to do all the things I love with. And I have that. But I still want to show him how much I love him with intimacy. It doesn't even have to be "regular" or "often", according to other's standards. But a couple times a month would be nice.

    This also involves you. He needs to step up and do what is necessary. He needs to get over his ego. Have you thought of going with him to an appointment?

    This is not sustaining unless he is willing to do what is necessary, and currently he is not. That is selfish.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Nickel Speed
    Are you sure the sex is the only thing bothering you? He sounds willing to try whatever he can in the bedroom.

    If he's getting professional help and you leave him for a medical issues he has no control over, well.. I feel sorry for the man. It's just one part of his body.

    "like as a sample, but my bf didn't take them " He is not doing everything he can, if he is not even willing to try some pills. . He is not concerned about her needs. I would be pissed.

    Is he doing the B12? Is he doing any exercise? He could do moderate walking.

    It sounds like you are excusing things.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    This also involves you. He needs to step up and do what is necessary. He needs to get over his ego. Have you thought of going with him to an appointment?

    This is not sustaining unless he is willing to do what is necessary, and currently he is not. That is selfish.
    I don't think he's being selfish. He's going to urology appointments every 3 months, getting blood tests, taking his meds faithfully on time. He eats foods that are supposed to help. Perhaps the one thing he could do a little better is exercise more, but can't we all do that? He's going to get B-12 shots and probably vamp up the exercise regimen, and we'll see what happens.

    In the end, it may come down to needing Viagra or a similar drug. But I think he and I both don't want it to come down to that unless it has to.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    I don't think he's being selfish. He's going to urology appointments every 3 months, getting blood tests, taking his meds faithfully on time. He eats foods that are supposed to help. Perhaps the one thing he could do a little better is exercise more, but can't we all do that? He's going to get B-12 shots and probably vamp up the exercise regimen, and we'll see what happens.

    In the end, it may come down to needing Viagra or a similar drug. But I think he and I both don't want it to come down to that unless it has to.
    What about the pills to increase the blood flow?

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    "like as a sample, but my bf didn't take them " He is not doing everything he can, if he is not even willing to try some pills. . He is not concerned about her needs. I would be pissed.

    Is he doing the B12? Is he doing any exercise? He could do moderate walking.
    He takes a multi-vitamin, but not B-12. He will likely do that now or do the shots, and I'm sure he'll start wanting to go to the gym with me or going walking with me or alone. He also has lung issues inherited from his family, so doing hardcore exercising isn't really an option for him.

    He did not get good genes from his parents, alas.

  8. #17
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    He doesn't have to do hardcore exercise. He can do walking.

  9. #18
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    How overweight is he?

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    How overweight is he?
    Pretty significantly. But I am as well. He eats more healthier than I do but he doesn't exercise, and I am quite active but have terrible eating habits.

  11. #20
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    This sounds like a wake up call to change your diets and implement an exercise program. Check out Weight Watchers or another program that offers lifestyle eating and not a diet. And, get the crap out of the house. You are so young and do not need all of the health issues associated with obesity.

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